“Sure.” I faked a smile. “And…remember how you said you would’ve loved to have a picture taken at that moment, so you could have shown me how shocked I was?”
“I’d have paid a shit-ton money for that shot, Red.”
“That’s a good sign.” I settled next to him on the couch, holding the camera at arm’s length for our selfie. “We’re going to take a picture now.”
“Clothes on?”
Enough of my nudes were already in the world. “Yep. Are you ready?”
He wrapped an arm around me, leaning close to get centered in the frame. “Will this go on the Lachlan shelf?”
“Most likely.” I took a breath. “Okay, say…We accidentally got pregnant during our date at the river, and I didn’t know how to tell you that I’m carrying your baby.”
Click.
Flash.
Silence.
I checked the image. It was a good photo. I smiled beautifully, but Lachlan…
Was about how I expected him.
This news tamed the puppy dog. His wiggles and drumming and grinning and teasing stopped.
Hell, I wasn’t sure he was even breathing.
He didn’t move.
Whoops. I broke him.
“Admittedly…” I cleared my throat. “That wasn’t the best way to tell you.”
He nodded, fast.
“I’m sorry, Lachlan,” I said. “I wanted you to know. I tried to tell you when I had laryngitis. Remember when we played charades? But you were so upset about the team. I planned to wait until it got better for you, but if you planned this big, amazing date for us...” I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. “I needed a good excuse to skip the zip-lining.”
His voice hollowed. “Yeah.”
“Are you okay?”
He nodded, but his head wasn’t exactly bobbing up and down. I hurried to bring him a bottle of water. He took it. Didn’t open it. He gripped the plastic a little too hard, and the bottle crinkled in his hand.
“Careful.” I braved a smile. “No one’s water needs to break for a while.”
The bottle fell from his hand.
He wasn’t ready for jokes.
“How…” He swallowed. “How…”
“I think you know how.” I teased him. “Only one way for that sort of thing to happen. A very fun way, but, uh…nothing we had planned, obviously.”
“No, uh…” He looked up, but his eyes were hazed, a dulled green masked in shock. “How did…”
“I was on the pill. But I guess there can be accidents. I didn’t realize—”
“No. It’s not your fault.”
“I really wanted to tell you.”
“How…long have you known?”
I took a breath. “I’ve known for a month.”
He opened his mouth. No sound came out.
“Yeah, that was kinda my reaction,” I said. “It took me a while to process it.”
“I bet.”
“I just want you to know…you can be as involved as you want.”
He blinked, staring at me. His voice hardened. “You think I wouldn’t want to be involved?”
“There’s no pressure.”
“We’re married,” he said.
“Kinda? I mean, sure. We eloped, but I didn’t know if what we had was…”
“Was what?”
My stomach turned. The question was too hopeful. I revealed too much and too little. “I don’t know if what we have is real.”
Lachlan stood, frustrated. “I might be crazy, Red, or just crazy for you, but I planned to see how this marriage plays out.”
“And I want this to be a magical fairy-tale too. If you knew how…” How I felt about him. The truth knotted in the queasiness in my tummy. One wasn’t coming up without the other. “This isn’t like the time we cooked for Sebastian. We aren’t just playing house. This is real.”
“I know what it means to have a child, Elle.”
“I’m not trying to fight.”
I wasn’t sure he believed me.
Lachlan rubbed his face. “You didn’t tell me.”
“I know.”
“Don’t you trust me?”
I hadn’t meant to hurt him. “Of course I do. But I was trying to…help. I didn’t want to cause you any more stress.”
“I can handle the stress, and the team, and the games.” Lachlan’s jaw tensed. “Just like I can handle this. For Christ’s sake, Elle. You’re…pregnant.”
He sunk onto the couch again, head in his hands.
The shock returned.
I sat on the coffee table, knocking a snow globe, candle stick, and my seagull figurine out of the way. Lachlan’s hands were cold. I held them close, forcing him to look at me.