Once Bitten, Twice Burned(97)

He didn’t want to see the fear in her eyes.

“She was wrong, Ryder. Do you hear me? Wrong. Yes, she was pissed and hurt, and she got a terrible, terrible hand dealt to her in this life . . . but what happened to her, the change, it wasn’t your fault.”

“I started it all. I made—”

“That is such a load of crap,” Sabine’s annoyed voice snapped. “No matter what you might like to think, you aren’t God.”

He blinked. His gaze met hers.

“You can’t control everyone or everything.”

He could actually control a pretty good number—

“If the guy who attacked Julia hadn’t been a vamp, did you ever think that maybe he’d just be a straight-up killer? That he was screwed to begin with? Humans have plenty of freak tendencies, that’s why there are so many serial killers out there. If that guy hadn’t been a vamp, he could still have killed her. Could still have tortured and raped because the sad fact is . . . evil is real. It comes in all kinds of forms.”

The form of a vampire. The form of a human.

Her hand lifted. Her fingers touched his cheek. “You aren’t responsible for every evil that walks the earth. We all have choices.”

The room reeked of death because of the choices he’d made. She’d seen all that he could do. And she still touched him. Looked at him like there was someone good inside of him.

He turned his head and pressed a quick kiss to her fingertips. He’d thought she was his weakness.

Maybe . . . maybe she was his strength.

The fury began to fade. His lashes lowered as he sucked in a deep breath. He needed to get her out of there. Had to wash the blood from her skin. Get her clean and safe. “Sabine—” His lashes lifted. He stared right at her.

There was so much fear in her eyes that he lost his breath. She touched him, comforted him, calmed him, but Sabine was so afraid of him that she was shaking.

“He . . . bit me,” she whispered. Her hand pulled from his. She touched the wound at her throat again. “Ryder, I’m sorry.”

He shook his head, not understanding.

“Julia . . . she didn’t want to live the way she was . . . II understand. I don’t want to be like them. I don’t want—”

He stiffened as understanding dawned. The fuck no.

“I don’t want to be like them. Please, help me now.” She straightened her shoulders. “Kill me.”





CHAPTER EIGHTEEN




“Never,” Ryder barked, his response instant. Now he was the one to grab her and hold on tight.

“If I change, if I’m like them—” She shuddered. “It just takes one bite to get infected by them, doesn’t it? Just one. He bit me, so that means that I’m going to become primal.”

“You’re not changing. You’re already a vampire.” Mostly. “You can’t change.” He sure as hell hoped not.

But fear was whispering through him. Sabine wasn’t like him, not like the others. With her, what if—

No. It had taken three exchanges just for her to become a vampire in the first place, and he was still seeing signs that her phoenix side wasn’t gone.

“If I do change, then promise me that you won’t let me—”

He pressed his lips to hers. Kissed her hard and deep. Drank the gasp from her mouth. Gave her his breath. I’d give her my life. “I promise that I’ll always protect you.” That was all she’d get from him.

And he’d protect her any way that he could. Every way.

Glass crunched. The scent of gasoline hit him.

Keeping a steady hold on Sabine, Ryder turned his head and saw that Grayson was back. And carrying gasoline containers in both hands.

“Since we don’t keep a lot of alcohol here, I planned ahead,” Grayson said, lifting the containers. “Don’t want to leave any messes behind.” He started pouring the gasoline on the bodies. On the walls. Everywhere.

Sabine shuddered. “More fire.”

When you needed to wipe away the scene of a mass attack, yeah, fire could do the trick.

“Go,” Grayson said, jerking up his chin. “I got this.”

Ryder hesitated. Grayson had always been there for him. Steadfast. True. But he had to ask, “Do you wish I’d left you on that field?”

Grayson hesitated. “Some days.”

Because Grayson never pulled his punches, Ryder felt that hit right to his gut.

“But most days, I’m glad to be alive. Glad to see the sky, glad to screw pretty women, glad to do all the damn things that I want.” Grayson bared his fangs. “Julia made her choice. We all make our choices. And I choose to keep living.”

Ryder’s breath eased out as some of the tension left his shoulders.