“That makes sense,” Damita agreed.
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned after all of this, it’s that we all control our own destiny. Of course, things happen that none of us have any control over, but we can control how we respond to the things that come our way.”
Damita said, “Amen to that.”
“Amen,” Constance agreed.
“So, now that we have my love life figured out, what am I going to do about a job?”
“I can help you out in that department as well.”
“You really think you can?”
“I’m sure of it.”
Constance walked over to the desk in the corner of the room and picked up a pad. She wrote something on it and handed the piece of paper to Damita.
“Show up here tomorrow at eleven. We’ll get you going on a job. It may not be what you’re used to, but it pays well enough and it’s not grunt work. You’re smart, so you’ll pick things up a lot quicker than I did.”
“Don’t say that, Constance. You’re very smart. I’ve learned so much from you.”
“Thanks for saying that. But, I’m not book smart, like you are.”
Once again, Damita was reminded of the internal tapes women play that make it easier for them to become victims of domestic abuse.
The next day she showed up at the address Constance had given her. She was wearing a very professional navy blue suit and a white shirt. The minute Constance saw her she knew she had made the right decision to tell her supervisor she had someone for a position they had open.
Constance stopped her and gave Damita the 4-1-1.
“You know me but not that well. I wouldn’t mention that you’re staying with me and don’t forget that you are Simone Ballister and not Damita Whitmore. If you get the job we’ll sit down and make sure our stories coincide. Okay?”
“Okay?”
“Now, go get it,” Constance said.
Damita was hired on the spot. It wasn’t investment banking, but it was an office job and she at least didn’t have to wash dishes, which was the only job she thought she’d be able to get when she first left New York. She was a word processor in an insurance company. The repetitive work was exactly what she needed. Sitting in front of the computer, typing information over and over again was all she thought she could handle at the moment. However, she was fully aware that she now had valid identification and was free to do something else, possibly even go back to her own line of work, eventually.
Damita was anxious to find her own apartment, so whenever any overtime was available, she worked late so that she would have enough money to move.
One night Lester was excited about the two of them going to a party together and when Damita called him to tell him she wouldn’t be able to make it, he was very disappointed and was sarcastic and sullen for a day or two. Even though she knew that Lester and Neal were two completely different people, she was suddenly reminded of how manipulative Neal was. She couldn’t believe that she had once again found herself involved with someone who was inflexible and more than a bit selfish. After the second day of Lester responding to her with one-word answers, Damita decided it was time to lay all her cards on the table.
“Lester, I’ve told you all about my ex and the kind of relationship we had. He would beat me and I would go back. He would beat me again and I would go back again. In the end I finally figured out that I wasn’t just stupid and insecure. Neal was manipulative. He said the right things, pushed the right buttons, caused the events required to achieve his desired result. He didn’t care if that meant hurting me physically or emotionally. I don’t ever want to be in a relationship with someone who uses my feelings for them to manipulate me. That’s not the kind of relationship I want. Nor do I want to manipulate anyone else. Any relationship I have needs to be built on mutual love and respect, not games.”
“But, I’m good at games,” Lester said, finally loosening up.
“Games are fun, but every now and then you’ve got to put the games away and deal with real life. In the real world, two nights ago, I had to work late. I had good reason to work late. I want my own place to live. Constance has been wonderful, but I’m ready to have my own. When I was in New York I made plenty of money, but there were some pretty important things missing from my life. Since I’ve been here, I’ve learned that I can live on less, that material possessions don’t make a life complete and I’ve learned that if I’m ever going to grow healthy, I’ve got to take responsibility for me. I can’t let other people take care of me forever.”