On the Other Side(50)

“Hello, Neal,” she said.

“Hello, Damita. How are you?”

“I’m fine.”

“When are you coming home?”

“Neal, I’m not coming home. That’s not my home anymore.”

“You’re my wife.”

“Why is that your answer for everything I say? Being your wife doesn’t mean I belong to you. I’m not your property. You can’t do whatever you want to me and expect me to grin and bear it. I’ve had more injuries in the two months since we’ve been married than I’ve ever had in my entire life. It’s not healthy. I loved you. I wanted more than anything for our marriage to work. When we got married it didn’t even occur to me that it wouldn’t work. In my mind you were the perfect man. You’re far from perfect. There aren’t many things I’m afraid of, but you scare me.”

“I can’t believe after all we meant to each other that you won’t give me another chance.”

“I’ve already done that. You did the same thing all over again. This is my life we’re talking about. The last time you beat me I thought you were going to kill me. Not only that, you’re doing drugs again. You didn’t complete your time in rehab. All of these things add up to bad news for me.”

“You keep talking about you. What about me? What about what I’ve been through. I haven’t been able to function without you. My business is suffering. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I need you. I can’t live without you.”

“Neal, the difference between you and me is I’m not hurting you.”

“You are. You are hurting me. Every day that you’re not here is agony for me.”

“That’s not what I meant.” She sighed. “Neal, I have to get ready for work. I can’t do this now.”

“Aren’t we as important as your precious job?”

“Neal, I’ve got to go.”

“Damita, if I can’t be with you I might as well be dead.”

“Neal, stop it. I’ve been trying to make sense of all of this. I’ve been reading everything I can about abuse and what you said is exactly what so many other men say. We made a mistake. Both of us made a mistake. Maybe the reason I anger you so much is because I’m not the woman for you.”

Damita knew that wasn’t the reason. She knew enough about abuse to know that Neal had a problem and it wasn’t anything she was doing or who she was.

“You’re the only woman for me and I’m the only man for you. We belong together.”

“We only knew each other a year before we got married. We didn’t spend enough time together to get to know one another. We got married too quickly. It hasn’t even been two years yet. Neal, that’s such a small portion of a lifetime. We should call it a mistake and move on. I want to have a life; a happy life. We can’t have that together. Too much has happened. There’s nothing binding us together. We need to move on, Neal. We have to. This isn’t good for either of us.”

“I told you when we got married that for me marriage is forever. There is no end for us. There will never be an end. If I can’t have you I might as well be dead. There is no life for me without you.”

“Neal, you’ve got to stop this. You should go to rehab, get some counseling and you can begin again with someone else. We can both have a normal life, eventually.”

“If I do all that will you take me back?”

“It’s over. Why aren’t you listening to me? It’s over.”

“You and I are not over. We will never be over,” he said, hanging up.

Although it was early, Damita decided she might as well get ready for work. She went to the kitchen and made coffee only to find Carmella’s friend, Derrick, standing in front of the refrigerator in a robe.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“No apologies necessary. I’m the one occupying Carmella’s space. I’m the one who should be saying sorry.”

“That’s not the case at all. Carmella has been so worried about you. I’m glad you’re here. She doesn’t worry as much with you close by for her to watch over. We both still think you should file a formal report and get an order of protection.”

“You’ve obviously been a police officer for a long time. Or, at least long enough to make detective. Tell me something; are orders of protection truly effective?”

“The intended purpose is to protect you from further harm from someone who has hurt you; to keep the abuser away from you, or to stop harassing you, or keep the abuser from the scene of the violence, which may include your home, place of work, or apartment. It’s a civil order, relatively easy to get, and it does not give the abuser a criminal record. For the abuse victim it just makes sense. There’s no reason not to get an order of protection.”