Before going into the store, Karen stopped and tapped Damita affectionately on the chin.
“I don’t know what’s going on, but you will tell me. I’m going to leave you alone for now and let you enjoy the day shopping, but we are going to talk about what’s been going on with you. And, Damita—.”
“Yes, mother,” Damita said sarcastically.
“We’re going to talk sooner than later. Now, let’s go put a dent in these credit cards.”
“Mom, how did you get to be so smart?”
“Girl, I changed your diaper, kissed your boo-boos and comforted you when that little piss ant, Donnie Warren, dumped you a week before your senior prom. I know my child and I know when she’s in pain.”
Karen put her arm around her daughter and they walked into the store.
Macy’s was as crowded as it always was.
“I don’t know why I come here,” Damita said.
“You come here because you know it’s your mother’s favorite store.”
“I know that’s right. I only come here when I’m shopping with you because otherwise I’d be in Bloomingdales.”
“What’s wrong with Macy’s?”
Damita looked through the racks of clothing with exasperation. “I can never find what I’m looking for here. Why don’t you like Bloomingdales?”
“I don’t like shopping in that store. They’re uppity.”
“Mom, you know you need to stop. How is the store uppity?”
“It just is. Every time I walk in that store I’m surprised when a store clerk even offers me assistance.”
“Now, now, Mom, that sounds like your own paranoia at work.”
“You know what they say, just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get me.”
Damita laughed and looped her arm with her mother’s. “Let’s go spend some of my husband’s hard-earned money.”
“That sounded pretty catty. What’s wrong? Is there trouble in paradise?”
“Now who’s being catty? I said that because Neal is always talking about me making babies and not working, so I thought I’d try out the life of a housewife. It’ll be fun to shop on someone else’s dime for a change.”
“You’re not really thinking about giving up your job to be a housewife, are you?”
“Not really. Only thinking out loud.”
“I certainly hope so. You love your job.”
She stared off absentmindedly, considering how much worse things would be if she were a housewife.
• • •
Damita and Karen shopped for most of the day, then stopped to get something to eat. Their routine was always for Karen to come back to her place after they had gone shopping, but Damita didn’t think it was a good idea under the circumstances. She realized she was right when she got home.
“Where the fuck have you been all day?”
“I went shopping with my mother.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving?”
“You were sleeping. I didn’t want to wake you.”
“I wake up and there’s no you and no food. There wasn’t even a container of milk. I might as well be single. What’s for dinner?”
“I thought we’d order out tonight.”
“I’m sick of ordering out. I want a home-cooked meal for a change.”
Damita couldn’t help but notice that he sounded like a small child about to have a tantrum. “What do you want?”
“It’s not like there’s much to choose from. The cupboards are bare.”
“We were supposed to be on our honeymoon.”
Neal looked at Damita with a cautioning glance. That’s when she realized the edge in her voice. That’s also when she realized within a week she had become the kind of woman she never thought she could ever become. She understood now how someone could kill another person. Being abused both physically and emotionally wasn’t the worst of her predicament. He had robbed her of her strength. In just a week she was afraid of everything.
“I’ll go to the supermarket,” Damita offered.
“Good.”
She walked to the supermarket, happy to be out of the apartment. Once inside, she hurriedly threw items in a shopping cart. While in the frozen foods section she noticed a couple kissing one another. She wondered whether the life they lived publicly matched the life they lived when they were not subject to scrutiny. Did he hit her? Was she afraid of him. After all, no one would have ever guessed what her marriage was like behind closed doors.
• • •
As she wound her way around the aisles in Gristedes Supermarket, she felt like a zombie. Her body was moving, but she felt lifeless.