On the Other Side(14)
Neal was already gone when she woke up the next morning. She assumed it had something to do with the car they borrowed the night before. She lay in bed reliving the night. Their lovemaking had always been intense, but there was something about last night that she sensed was different.
“I’m back.”
By the time Neal returned she was in the kitchen making breakfast.
“Is that bacon I smell?”
“Yes.”
“You know I don’t eat that stuff,” he said.
“You can have some of the scrambled eggs then and maybe some toast?”
“I’d rather have mine poached. A trough of scrambled eggs laden in butter is the last thing I need.”
“So what’s this obsession about your body all of a sudden? You’re in great shape. You have been since I met you.”
“To keep the body in good health is a duty. Otherwise, we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.”
“Buddha?”
“Yes.”
“Poached it is.”
Damita noticed Neal was suddenly sullen once again. She wasn’t sure why, especially given their spectacular night.
“Baby, is everything okay?” she asked.
“Everything is fine. You were moaning and talking in your sleep last night. What were you dreaming about?”
“I was talking in my sleep?” Damita asked.
“Yes, you were.”
“If I was moaning, it’s probably because I was thinking about you.”
“Is that so?”
“Neal, baby, what’s wrong?”
“What makes you think there’s something wrong?”
Damita watched him cautiously, sensing his irritation.
“Well, for one thing, you keep answering my questions with questions. I don’t understand. You seem angry. I thought we had such a good time together last night, but now you seem like you’re annoyed again.”
“You’re never going to let me forget, are you?”
“I thought we were past this. I thought after last night we could finally move past all of this; begin fresh.”
“Undoubtedly we can’t. Last night I listened to you. You didn’t sound like a woman that was beginning fresh. You sounded more like a woman who was livid. You were fighting with someone while you slept.”
“So now you’re going to persecute me for something I said or did while I was sleeping? I don’t even remember whatever it is you’re talking about.”
“You know what they say about dreams being manifestations of your life while you’re awake.”
“Neal, I have no control over that. I’ll admit that maybe it might have something to do with what happened, but that wasn’t my fault, was it?”
“Oh, so, that’s what we’re doing now? Are we laying blame for all that’s wrong with this marriage?”
“I can’t speak much about this marriage, since we’ve barely been married a week, but I do know that I never hit you. I also know that under the circumstances, I should be nominated for sainthood. A lot of women would have been gone the moment you hit them. I’m still here, trying to make this work. Instead of appreciating that, you keep bouncing back and forth with these mood swings. I don’t know where it’s coming from. You were never like this when we were dating.”
“You know, Damita, I must admit, I felt guilty after I hit you. I’ve been trying to figure out why I did it. I now realize it’s because there is something about you that is so maddening! You expect the world to kiss your ass. You think I should be grateful to you for not leaving. That’s not going to happen. You’re my wife and I expect you to act accordingly.”
“If you hold such disdain for me, why don’t you leave? Maybe we both made a mistake. Let’s end it here and now.”
“No.”
“What do you mean by no?”
“I mean exactly what I said.”
“Damita, when I spoke those vows, I meant every word I said. Marriage for me means forever.”
“But, Neal, if it’s not working, why on earth would you want to stay? This is clearly not working. You’re not who I thought you were and judging from your comments, I’m not who you thought I was.”
“I’ve always known who you are, angel. However, I never had any intention of allowing you to stay that way. None of that has changed. Your parents obviously spoiled you rotten. You think you can do and say whatever you want, but you will not do that and be married to me. It’s best that you learn that now, rather than wait months or even a year or two down the road to find out.
“I don’t believe that men and women have been or will ever be equals, in marriage or in life. You are not my equal and the sooner you figure that out, the better. I fully intend to hold up my end of the bargain. You should quit your job and get pregnant and I will be the man in this relationship, as it was intended.”