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On Second Thought(5)

By:Kristan Higgins


Almost everyone, that was.

"You really went all out, didn't you?" My stepmother, Candy, appeared at my elbow. "I can't imagine what this cost."

"So worth it, though," I said, determined not to let her ruin my mood.

"If you say so." She gave me her patented, squinty look of disappointment-I did my best, but look what I had to work with.

A word about Candy.

She and Dad were each other's once and future spouses, as it were. The  first time around, they met in college, got married, had Sean and Kate.  Then, when Kate was seven, they got a divorce.

Not very long after the divorce-a few months, I was told-Dad married my  mother, Michelle, who died when I was three. A pickup truck hit her one  Sunday afternoon as she was riding her bike. Six months after that, Dad  went back to Candy and married her again.

Candy wasn't an evil stepmother. She took care of me when I was sick and  asked if I did my homework, but...well. She already had her children,  and they were past the age when they needed help brushing their teeth. I  was not encouraged to call her Mom. "Your mother is in heaven," she'd  say calmly if the M-word slipped out, as it sometimes did. "You can call  me Candy."

Dad, who had been a great baseball player in college but not quite good  enough to play for a living, was an umpire for Major League Baseball. He  traveled seven months of the year, so the bulk of my upbringing fell to  Candy. And while she did take my father back, she never got over him  dumping her for a younger, prettier woman. Every few years, she'd  announce that she was divorcing Dad, though she never followed through.

Candy had a PhD in psychology and had authored several books on family  dynamics, including The Toxic Mommy and Stuck with You: Raising the  Recalcitrant Stepchild. Other cheerful titles included Freeing Yourself  from Your Family and Parenting When You've Got Nothing Left. She was a  bit of a celebrity on the parenting circuit, and also the advice  columnist for Hudson Lifestyle, which she wrote under the name Dr.  Lovely.         

     



 

She was great out in public and took her appearance very  seriously-expensive blond hair, glaring white teeth, a perfect size  four, five foot two, abs of steel. At book signings and whenever  confronted with a fan, she'd morph into a smiley, warm, wonderful person  who never minded taking photos.

With us-with me, I should say-she remained brittle. Which was okay. She  had her reasons, and she'd never been cruel or angry toward me. Just  resigned. She got her man back, but with the stiff price tag in the form  of a toddler.

"Oh, honey, this is gorgeous," said Eric's mom, Judy, pouncing on me  with a hug. "You're so wonderful, you know that? And look at you! So  beautiful!"

"Thanks, Judy!"

"Candy, how are you? Isn't this a special day?"

"It is." My stepmother forced a smile, then backed away. Judy and I  exchanged a look. We'd gossip about everything tomorrow. Tomorrow, when  I'd be engaged.

"I love your dress. Perfect for tonight!" she said.

So she knew. Excellent. "Well," I said, feigning innocence, "white for a clean start."

She pressed her lips together so as not to blurt out the news. Her eyes  filled with tears. "I don't know what he'd do without you, Ainsley," she  said. "You're a treasure."

"Oh, Judy," I said, my voice husky. I gave her a hug, and my sister aimed her camera at us. Kate did take the best pictures.

"Where's my second-best girl?" Eric's dad asked, joining us. "You look beautiful, darling. Both of you do."

The Fishers were the best. "You're a daughter to us," his mother had  been saying for the past decade. They had the kind of marriage I  wanted-affectionate, open, happy and fun. My boyfriend had great role  models, that was for sure. We went on vacation with them every year, and  we always had a great time, a fact that befuddled my friends.

Judy and I would go crazy planning the wedding. It could be Jewish,  since that would be important to them, and would win me even more points  as best daughter-in-law ever. We'd have the canopy and the breaking of  the glass and the fun dance with the chairs...

I looked over at my honey. He stood next to the huge montage of pictures  of himself he'd put up. Eric before cancer, a little chubby. Going into  the hospital for surgery. Lying in the recovery room afterward. Hooked  up to an IV bag. (He asked me to take all these, for the record.) Just  after he shaved his head. Wearing his Fuck You, Cancer T-shirt, sitting  in his favorite chair, seven prescription bottles next to him.

He met my eyes and smiled, then clinked a fork on his champagne glass.

Oh, God, it was time. I looked around, my heart revved up and my toes  clenched in the red shoes. Jonathan and Candy were talking in a corner.  The frat boys were doing shots. Rachelle was taking a picture of Kate  and Nathan, calling them Kate and Nate, and asking Kate about camera  settings.

"Folks, if I could have your attention for a minute," Eric said. I  swallowed hard. Everyone quieted and gathered around, ripples of  laughter and conversation fluttering out. I hoped Kate would get a  picture of the big moment. Oh, man, I was nervous! All these years  waiting, and I was shaking!

"Folks," Eric said again, "I just want to thank you all for coming to  this party. As of noon today, I am officially cancer free!"

A cheer went up, and glasses were raised, and I felt tears slipping down my cheeks.

"It's been a long, hard road," he said, "and I wouldn't be here without  all of you. So this party is for you, all my friends and family who  stood by me in this dark time. To life!"

"To life!" we all chorused back.

"L'chaim!" Aaron said. So Fiddler on the Roof! I loved that musical!

"And if you'll indulge me here," Eric continued, "there are a few people  I need to thank specially. My parents, of course, the best people in  the whole world. I love you, Mom and Dad. More than I could ever say."

Judy sobbed happily, and Aaron wiped his eyes. "Love you, too, son," he managed.

"My awesome team at St. Luke's, Dr. Benson, Dr. Ramal, Dr. Williams, and  all the incredible nurses and staff at the infusion center." A round of  applause followed, though none of the team had been able to make the  party.

"My workmates, who were so great while I went through this ordeal."

The Wall Streeters gave themselves a rowdy cheer, and Blake shouted, "I'd give my left nut to be half the man you are!"

Eric pretended to smile; he hated that joke. He went on to thank his boss, his assistant, the receptionist.         

     



 

Come on, Eric. If he went through the entire list (as he seemed intent  on doing), he'd be here all night. Alas, he loved to give speeches. Next  thanked: his cousin, who'd flown up from Boca to visit-for nine days,  and let me tell you, that wasn't exactly a favor. Eric's golf  buddy-Kate's husband, Nathan-for keeping his spirits up, though to the  best of my knowledge, they'd played golf only once.

Next on the list: everyone who read and commented on The Cancer  Chronicles. I sneaked a look at Jonathan, who remained stone-faced. Eric  thanked Beth for her good cheer, the Hoffmans for plowing our driveway  (once; I shoveled the other times). He thanked Ollie, "my little buddy  when I was too weak to do anything other than nap."

Come on, Eric.

"And last on the list, but first in my heart, of course, is someone very special I need to thank."

He looked at me, his dark eyes wet, and my irritation vanished. My heart stopped, then surged forward, hot and full of love.

"Someone who stood by me every minute, who kept my spirits up when I stared down Death, when I was too weak to lift my head."

Granted, there really hadn't been a moment when he was too weak to lift  his head, but yeah. I'd been great. Judy's quiet sobs resumed, and she  gave me a watery smile. Aaron squeezed my shoulders.

"Babe, come over here," he said, and I went, my heart thudding,  practically levitating from happiness and adrenaline. I was hyperaware  of everything, like Peter Parker is in Spider-Man-the tag sticking up  from Rachelle's neckline, the nice orange blossom smell of Beth's  perfume, Ollie being fed an appetizer by Esther, Jonathan's constipated  expression, my sister's sardonic smile.

Eric touched his pocket, where the box-shaped lump sat so promisingly, and I smiled through my happy tears.

It was about damn time.





Chapter Three

Kate

I tried to remember a time when I loved parties. College, maybe?

This kind of party was the worst. I didn't know many people aside from  my family members, and I'd talked to Esther and Matthias as long as they  tolerated me, then trailed them down to the basement cellar, where they  booted up Mad Max: Fury Road. When guilt forced me upstairs, I saw  Nathan getting a plate of food for my grandmother.

An aching, lovely pressure squeezed my chest. He saw me looking and smiled.

"Kate, your husband is so wonderful!" Gram-Gram chirped. "I didn't know  what I wanted, so he got me some of everything!" She popped a mozzarella  ball into her mouth and chewed. "Delicious!"