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On Second Thought(3)

By:Kristan Higgins


After all, I'd opened other turquoise-blue boxes before, and they hadn't  contained engagement rings. On our fourth Christmas together, upon  seeing the small box, I burst into tears and threw myself into his arms.

Gold hoop earrings.

On my twenty-ninth birthday, an opal pendant.

Both lovely, mind you. Just not what a woman expects when presented with  a box of a certain shape and color. So tonight, if there was anything  other than an engagement ring in that box, I needed to know before a  hundred people watched me open it.

Like a cat burglar, I slid the box out of the drawer and removed the  turquoise lid. Inside was the black velvet box, just like those that had  held the earrings and pendant.

I peeked, then inhaled sharply.

It was an engagement ring.

The diamond glittered at me, pulling me under its spell, the depth and  sparkle of it, the mystery. It was perfect. A gorgeous solitaire, simple  but so elegant, tiny diamonds on the band, the bigger stone dazzling.  And big. A carat and a half. Maybe more. Oh, Tiffany! Well done!         

     



 

"Check this out," I whispered to Ollie, showing him. He licked his  chops, and I idly petted his silky little brindle head, staring at the  ring.

My eyes were wet as I closed the lid and replaced the velvet box into the blue one, then put the package back under the boxers.

Finally. Finally.

Then I pumped a fist into the air and did a little end zone victory  dance around the room, happy little squeaks coming out of my throat.  Ollie joined me, whining with joy, as he himself was an accomplished  dancer.

At last! I was getting married! And the ring was flippin' gorgeous! And it was about time!

Eric was the love of my life. We'd been together since our senior year  of college (eleven years ago, mind you). There'd never been anyone else.  He'd been the third boy I kissed, the first boy I slept with and the  only boy I'd ever loved.

And after the past year and a half, during the terror of his  life-changing diagnosis, during the treatment and illness, I wanted to  be married more than ever. No more partner, no more boyfriend, no more  significant other. I wanted him to be my husband. The word was as solid  and comforting as a bullmastiff.

In my heart, we already had a marriage-level commitment, but I wanted  the whole package. You know how some people say, Heck, we don't need a  piece of paper to show our commitment! They're lying. At least, I was  lying and had been lying for, oh, ten years now.

The wait was over.

I glanced at my watch, then bolted into the bathroom. If I was going to  be an engaged woman tonight, I was also going to get laid tonight, and I  had to shave my legs. All the way up.

* * *

Two hours later, the party was in full swing. I wore a white dress  (bridal, anyone?) and red heels, and I was nursing a glass of cabernet,  feigning calm, though my palms were sweaty and my heart stuttered and  sped. Ollie wandered around, greeting guests, sniffing shoes, wagging  his tail, all shiny and sweet-smelling, since I'd given him a bath  earlier that day.

This was Eric's big night, and soon it would be our big night.

The house looked fantastic. It wasn't as big or fabulous as my sister's  new place, but it wasn't shabby, either. And unlike Kate's home, my  house was lovely because of my work. Kate had walked into a fully  furnished showplace designed by her architect husband, filled with  custom-made furniture and tasteful modern art paintings.

Our place was my doing. Since my former career in television imploded,  Eric funded 90 percent of our lifestyle, being the Wall Street wizard he  was, but home was my domain. Every piece of furniture, every photo,  every throw pillow, every paint color had been my decision, making this  house our home.

Was our relationship a little retro? You bet. I liked it that way. And  while Kate and Nathan's house was more impressive, I liked to think ours  was a little more welcoming, warmer, more colorful. Kind of like Kate  and me-her always a little reserved, me always trying too hard.

The caterers zipped around with trays of pretty food and bottles of wine  (good wine, too; Eric had a man-crush on Nathan and asked for some  recommendations, since Nathan had an actual wine cellar). There was a  martini bar on the deck, and everyone was laughing and smiling with good  reason. Eric had beaten cancer, and this party was his way of thanking  everyone for their love and support since that awful day when he'd found  the lump.

As if reading my thoughts, Eric glanced over at me and smiled, and my  heart melted and pulled like warm taffy. His dark hair was still  short-it used to be longer, but after he shaved his head in anticipation  of hair loss, he liked the cropped look. His black-framed glasses made  him look attractively dorky, but the truth was, he was gorgeous, and  since the diagnosis and his organic macrobiotic diet and exercise plan,  his body was smokin'.

There was a velvet box-sized shape in his front pocket.

My fiancé. My husband.

The very first time I saw Eric Fisher, I thought, That's the man I'm  going to marry. It had never been a question of if, just a question of  when.

That question would be answered tonight.

"Ainsley, the house looks amazing!" said Beth, my across-the-street  neighbor, who'd been wonderful about bringing food and leaving little  bouquets of flowers from her garden when Eric was sick. "What a happy  day!"

"Thank you, Beth! You've been so great. We can't thank you enough. Get a martini, quick!" She smiled and obeyed.

So many friends were here-Eric's fraternity brothers, his coworkers from  Wall Street, Eric's parents and grandparents. My friends, too, from  town and college and the magazine, though no one from my old job at NBC  had even RSVP'd. My brother and his wife hadn't been able to make it,  but their older two kids were here, not by choice. I had the impression  Sean and Kiara left Sadie with a sitter, dropped the teens off here and  sneaked out to dinner rather than come to the party.         

     



 

Esther, who was thirteen, was slumped in a chair, the only sign of life  her thumbs moving over her phone. Matthias, at fifteen, was similarly  slumped, eyeing the young female servers when he thought no one was  looking.

"You guys can go down to the cellar if you want and watch TV," I told  them, stroking Esther's curly hair. They jolted back to life and  practically trampled each other in the race to the cellar door, Esther  shielding her eyes as she passed the photo montage. Poor kid. No teenage  girl should have to see that.

"Hello, Ainsley."

I managed to catch my flinch at the sound of the voice. My boss was  here-Captain Flatline, as we called him. Ollie trotted up to greet him,  cheerfully sniffing his shoes, then putting his paws against Jonathan's  knee. Jonathan ignored him.

"Hi, Jonathan!" I said brightly, though almost everyone else at the  magazine called him Mr. Kent. I didn't. I had an Emmy, thank you very  much (though I probably should've given that back after the debacle).

"Thank you for inviting me." He looked like he was at a funeral, still  in a suit and tie from work, face as cheerful as the grave.

"I'm glad you could come," I lied. "Is that for us?" I nodded at the bottle of wine in his hand.

"Yes." He handed it to me. "I hope you enjoy it." Still no smile. "I'm  sorry you couldn't make your employee review this afternoon."

I faked a frown. "Yeah. Me, too. That call with the pumpkin farmer went on longer than I thought."

He lifted an eyebrow. We both knew I was dodging the review. The thing  was, the job wasn't that hard, and I did it well. Or pretty well,  anyway. As the features editor, it was my job to assign articles to our  vast army of freelancers, all of whom wanted to be the next host of This  American Life and/or winner of the Pulitzer Prize.

Hudson Lifestyle, however, was glossy fluff. Lemonade stands and barn  restorations, new restaurant openings and the history of Overlook  Cemetery. Before I worked at the magazine, I'd been a producer on The  Day's News with Ryan Roberts, the second most-watched news program in  the country. I could handle Ten Ideas for Fall Porch Decorating.

That being said, yes, I had some difficulty in following every one of  Jonathan's many rules to the letter. He liked us to roll in at exactly  8:30 every morning, which didn't take into account the fact that I might  change outfits or get caught on the phone with my grandmother. He  didn't allow food to be left in the employee fridge for more than four  days in a row. No personal phone calls at work? Come on. No checking  Facebook? What century was this?

These were the things Jonathan had discussed last year in my review,  before I knew that dodging them was a friendly competition held among  all Hudson Lifestyle employees. The current champion was Deshawn in  Sales, who'd gone three years without one and was now flirting with Beth  at the martini bar.

"Hello! Are you married?" Gram-Gram, my stepmother's cheerful and slightly senile mom, popped over and beamed up at Jonathan.