Olivia’s Ride(15)

All the texts I sent over the last couple days were still unanswered. There was nothing left to do. I felt like I was going insane; the waiting was damn near killing me.

I had been at work for a few hours, hidden beneath the front end of a Toyota Camry, completely engrossed in the task at hand. The radio playing loud through the shop blocked out all other noise. Suddenly someone nudged my foot and I lifted my head just enough to see a pair of black boots only a few feet away. Just to the side of those familiar boots stood another set of footwear I recognized. A bright pink and black pair of Nike running shoes, leading up to a pair of sexy tanned legs that gave me flashbacks of times they were wrapped around me.

Slowly I slid out from under the car and wiped my rag over my face to clear away any grease that may have accumulated there. Looking up, Olivia came into view, standing at my boss’s side.

“You got a visitor,” Nate said with a smile. He knew what was going on, because we had more than one talk about everything involving Liv. “Why don’t you clean yourself up and take this pretty lady out to dinner? It’s supposed to be your day off anyway.”

I nodded my head as I sat up and started wiping my hands clean. “You got it,” I replied without looking at him.

As he walked away I pushed myself up from the ground and my stare locked on Olivia.

She didn’t resemble that broken girl who left my apartment only days ago. Now she stood tall, her shoulders squared as she showed no signs of defeat. That stubbornness had returned and I could feel myself fighting not to smile.

I loved her confident side. It was admirable and sexy as fuck.

“I don’t really feel like dinner,” she said and my stomach dropped with the thought of her showing up here just to end things with me. I could feel that empty panic inside me threatening to take over and have me begging for her to give me another chance. “But I do think we need to talk.”

“I agree,” I held out my hand to the left, attempting to lead her from the shop. If I could just get her to listen to me, maybe I could still fix this.

She turned around and walked away as I followed close behind. I tried not to focus on the sway of her ass, but I am a guy and she had a sweet ass, so it happened.

She abruptly stopped and because I hadn’t been watching I bumped into her back as I reached out to steady both her and myself. And for a moment, she remained close, allowing me time to breath in the familiar sweetness of her perfume, her lotion, and the smell of her shampoo. All the things I had grown to love and the things I had missed over the last couple of days.

She suddenly stepped away; that action alone felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. I didn’t like not being able to touch her. I had never had to keep my distance because she always welcomed my touch. I thought she, too, relied on the physical contact just as I had, until now.

“I miss you,” I said without thinking. It was true; I had missed her, so much it made me feel sick.

“You don’t miss me; you just miss the idea of me,” she insisted and I couldn’t stand her thinking that her words could be true.

“I’ve never had someone like you in my life,” I whispered as I sat down on the retaining wall that separated the bays just out front of the shop.

“What are you talking about?” she asked. She stood in front of me, with her arms crossed. There was entirely too much distance between us and I wanted nothing more than to grab her and pull her close but I knew she would only reject me and right now I didn’t know if I could handle that.

So instead, I fisted my hands and focused on explaining just what my words meant.

“I’ve never had someone who cared so much. Someone who made me feel safe.” I looked up at her, hoping she believed me. “So when I say I miss you, I mean that I miss you. I’m sorry I didn’t let you in, but it was never because I didn’t want to. It was because I didn’t know how, because I was worried it would change the way you looked at me.”

The hardness in her eyes softened but I didn’t give her a chance to say anything. I needed to get this out before I chickened out and missed the chance.

“I don’t want pity, Liv, and your heart is too damn kind not to feel the need to comfort me. That doesn’t make you wrong; it’s just something I don’t want—I can’t. I left a lot of shit behind because I don’t want to live it daily, not anymore.” I took in a deep breath, trying to gain the strength to continue. “No man wants a woman he cares about to look at him as weak. And for years I was weak. I let my father beat me because he had nothing better to do. I let my brother bully me, and they both sat back and laughed like the entire thing was a comedy.”

“This right here,” I pointed to my lip, “this was from my father. He showed up wanting money, and when I refused to give him any, this is what it got me.”

I could tell she was fighting against the sadness this news brought her.

Olivia was a compassionate person. She hated the idea of anyone or anything suffering. I don’t know how many times I watched her cry at those commercials showing hungry children in other countries, or animals being neglected. She had the biggest, sweetest heart. I knew it was killing her not to express her sadness at the things I was sharing with her.

“I don’t like sharing the things of my past,” I confessed.

“But you shared it with her?” Olivia whispered.

Lacy, I knew, was someone who made her uneasy. I could see it every time we passed her in the hall, or whenever her name was brought up.

“I didn’t share it with her the way you think I did.” I slid forward and reached out, taking her hand. I could feel her resistance, but I needed to touch her. “Lacy witnessed the abuse first hand on more than one occasion. She called the cops when my brother showed up one night at my place. She was also the person who chased my drunken-ass father off with a baseball bat after he smashed in the windshield of my truck.”

I took in a deep breath and shook off the sick feeling in my stomach. Every time I thought of my past it made me feel disgusted, but right now it was just something I had to suffer through. If I wanted to hold on to Olivia, she needed to know the things I went through. She deserved to know all this had nothing to do with how I felt about her. It was because I cared for her so much that I chose to hold back. I didn’t want my tainted past to dim her light. She was too fucking good.

“Baby, my past is not pretty,” I whispered, pulling her in just a little closer. “My mom left when I was young, and though we talk on occasion, it is nothing like a relationship should be between a mother and a child. I left my father’s three weeks before I started college, and have only gone back over time to gather my things that were still there. But that hasn’t stopped the two of them from making my life hell.”

“They’re evil,” she whispered. “And I won’t say that I’m sorry you had to go through all those things, because it’s the last thing you want to hear from me. But I will hope that karma comes back and bites the both of them in the ass, because they deserve to suffer for what they’ve done to you over the years.”

I smiled, but never felt its full effect. I knew there were still things hanging over us and those things had to be sorted out.

“You have to understand that before I met you, Lacy was who I counted on.” She immediately looked away; I placed my hand against her cheek and forced her to look back at me. “As a friend.” I allowed my hand to fall away and when she didn’t look away from me I continued. “She takes Duke out for me before she heads to work because I get home from work so late. That’s all.”

“I could’ve taken Duke out, but you never asked.” I sensed her nervousness with how her voice vibrated when she spoke. I shouldn’t have found her reaction cute, but I did. Not very often did I witness Olivia in a timid state. She was always so wired and straight forward.

“Sweetheart, if you want to take Duke out, you can.” I smiled, standing up in front of her as I gripped her hips and held her close. “It was easier because she is right there. I never thought of asking you to do it every day, and I’m sorry that created a problem.”

“I know I shouldn’t let it bother me, but it did. She doesn’t like me much and I’m not gonna lie and say that I’m her fan either, because I’m not.” Olivia loved everyone; well, almost everyone with the exception of Jeanette, but we all felt that was warranted. “She said things she didn’t have to Friday night and she loved the fact that I knew nothing about you.”

Her words hurt me, because she did know me. “Liv, you do know me.” I told her. “You may not have known about the hate from my past, but you know me. You know the man I am and want to be every day for the rest of my life. I’m still that guy, and no amount of shit my father or brother throw at me will change that.”

I lifted a hand from her hip and curled it around the back of her neck as she tilted her head upward to look at me. “I don’t like the way things went down the other night, and I plan to make sure something like that never happens again. You come first, Liv.” I paused, resting my forehead to hers. “You’re my girl.”