“And?” I didn’t want to talk. I wanted to run my hands all over those bulging biceps. Curse you, wretched body. He’s too dumb and he’s way too rude. You can’t have him!
“And as much as your proposal swept me off my feet, I’m afraid I must decline.”
He glared at his shoes, then looked back up at me with fire in his eyes. “Dammit, Lily. Fine. Get kicked the fuck out of town. I only offered because some of the guys for some insane reason respect you.”
“And you thought by marrying me, you’d collect some of that for yourself.”
He grabbed my shoulders. “They do fucking respect me, you bitch.” His fingers dug into my flesh, bruising it.
I grit my teeth. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“What the fuck’s your problem? I’m not good enough for you?”
Wow, he got something right. “Please let me go, Sam.”
He spat. The wad of saliva hit me on my cheek, hot as a brand. I squeezed my eyes shut, but he grabbed my chin and shouted, “Look at me!”
“Gunner, please!” my mom called. “Let her go. She’s a good girl. She’s just got a big mouth. Don’t hurt her.”
Instead, he kissed me. His lips crashed into mine, crushing them, as his fingers dug into my jaw, holding my head where he wanted it. His tongue thrust inside my mouth, and with it, a hot and fast whirlwind of fear and desire stormed through my body. My knees shook, and I leaned on my mop to steady myself. What the fuck, Lily. You don’t even like him. I don’t know what it was that turned me on like that - the humiliation, the domination - but I couldn’t deny my reaction. I wanted this. Just not with him. Not with any of them.
I whined and tried to twist my face away. He finally released me with an angry grunt. “You had your chance, Lily,” he said, backing towards the door. “Don’t say no one tried to help you.”
He turned and left. I watched his colors disappear through the doors and out into the night - the Dust Bowl Devils patch, the club’s design with the cloud around the horned devilish skull, the scythe behind it.
“You didn’t have to be so rude,” Mom said. She wiped her eyes. “He’s usually a good guy. That could have been a nice setup for you.”
I laughed, incredulous. “You think I should be with him? After seeing that, you still think I should marry that guy?”
“Yes. Well, maybe not. But you shouldn’t have provoked him like that.”
“You shouldn’t have gotten us mixed up with these guys in the first place!”
She wiped her eyes again. “Maybe you should just go,” she said. “If this life is so unbearable for you. So beneath you.”
“Mom…”
“No. I know you’re only sticking around for my sake. I don’t need it. I’m fine.” She took off her apron and headed back to the kitchen. “I’ll be fine. I have some money saved up. You should take it and go.”
I held my tongue. I couldn’t tell if she was serious or not; she’d told me to leave before, then begged me not to the next day. I knew she’d be okay. For all her fucking around and her dumb floozy act, she was a smart and tough woman. I don’t know why she hid it. But she could take care of herself.
She was wrong that I was only staying for her sake, though. The other problem was, I simply didn’t know what else to do. She was my only family; my father had disappeared. We two were all we had.
---
I expected the fireworks immediately. It took a long time for me to fall asleep - I was just waiting for Bill to burst through the door and bodily haul me out of town. I was on edge at work all morning, just waiting for him or for Sam to burst in and cause another scene.
It was a busy Saturday morning, and I was just delivering eggs and sausage to an impatient trucker at the counter when my mother grabbed my elbow.
“You have to do one of my tables for me,” she hissed.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s Nomad. I can’t. I just can’t.”
“What? Why?” Nomad - or Wilhelm Green - was the old president of the Dust Bowl Devils. He’d been voted out when the club decided to go in a different direction, but was still highly respected. I only remembered him from when I was very young - he tended to travel a lot, recruiting a little, visiting different chapters of the club in other states, even starting up a few new ones.
“I’m embarrassed,” Mom said, blushing. “I threw myself at him once. Back when you were in middle school. He turned me down and I never got over it.”
“Mom, that’s ridiculous. Besides, wasn’t he married?”