Of course I am, but I can’t let Jarrod know this. His freedom and his life depend on my being convincing. So I turn away, pretend an interest in the rose bushes that have recently been pruned and wonder fleetingly where the single purple rose came from. My eyes, I know, will be his key to seeing into my soul. ‘He offered to make me his Queen. He wants to share his powers with me, teach me all he knows. It’s an opportunity I can’t – ’
‘This is rubbish, Kate! It’s all lies! How can you fall for it? He’s just using you.’
‘No, he’s not. He wants me.’
His voice is whisper-soft, but I hear every word. ‘I want you too.’
I harden my face, swallow the sudden lump in my throat. ‘Well,’ I spin around to face him, determined to make this work, ‘I want Rhauk.’ And before I lose my nerve, I slip off the amulet that hangs from my neck and quickly place it in Jarrod’s hand. ‘You’ll need this to get home. Remember the words.’
He stares at me, his head shaking with astonished disbelief. ‘You can’t be serious.’
‘I am, Jarrod. Deadly serious.’ For this is how I feel, dead inside.
‘And what has Rhauk promised in return? To stop the curse?’
I fight to hide my surprise, battle to keep my face smooth and appropriately bored. ‘But of course. It’s a fair exchange.’
‘Your life is more important, Kate, than an exchange of promises that you have no way of knowing he is even going to keep!’
‘He will keep his promise, Jarrod. I’ll be there to make sure of it.’
‘Is that why you’re staying?’
‘No!’ God, he’s so close to the truth. ‘I want to stay.’
‘You’re lying.’
This time I have to convince him. ‘Look, I know this is difficult to accept, especially after, well … the other night.’ I feel my face heat up, remembering how his hands had felt. I force the memories away. ‘I’ve finally found a place for myself in this world with Rhauk. You know in that other world I’m a social outcast. I can’t practise any magic. I have no freedom, nothing like the freedom I could have here with Rhauk. He’s a master, Jarrod. And I’m sick of the way they treat me in that other world. I want to live where I’m welcome, where I’m accepted. Surely you can understand that concept.’
And I know this will hurt, but I have to do it. I try to make my voice brim with hatred. ‘You were worse than all of them, with your pretend interest. I thought you were my friend, but did you ever acknowledge our friendship in public?’
Inside I cringe at the total look of self-disgust that fills his face.
‘I don’t want to live like that, Jarrod. Here, with Rhauk, I don’t have to. And I can work my magic, and learn from a true magician.’
‘I will still challenge him.’
‘Aren’t you listening?’ Panic fills me. ‘There’s no need. You’re free. Use the amulets, say the words Jillian taught us. You could be home in minutes, and things will be different now. Your family will be normal again, not jinxed with one disaster after another. Don’t they deserve this chance? And what about you? Think about this, Jarrod: you can return to the world of Tasha and Jessica and Pecs and Ryan, and enjoy the life you were meant to have.’
‘Do you really think I’m that shallow, Kate? How can I return knowing that I’ve left you here with this monster? On my behalf?’
‘I want this. I don’t want what you can offer.’
This time my words have the effect I’m looking for. But then his eyes flicker with disbelief, and I can sense his doubts resurfacing. ‘I will still challenge him,’ he repeats stubbornly.
God, how can this be so hard! I struggle to stop myself from screaming at him. ‘For goodness’ sake, Jarrod, aren’t you listening!’
His eyes narrow as he looks at me astutely. ‘Why are you so edgy? Why is it so important that I return home?’
Because it will all be for nothing if you die! I shrug. Aiming for unconcern, I give myself a moment to invent something that will drive him away from me without remorse. And then it hits me. I spin around and look him straight in the face. ‘I’m worried that someone might get hurt.’
His face fills with relief and a tremulous smile forms, followed by a gentle hand that reaches out to me.
I ignore it. ‘It’s possible, now that you realise your gift, that you could hurt him.’
His entire body freezes. ‘Him?’
I nod, my mouth desert-dry.
His hand falls to his side, bunches into a white fist. ‘Rhauk! Are you protecting Rhauk now!’