God, she thought to herself, looking in his eyes I can see he means every word. He was just a compliance officer, she knew, but the intensity in which he was looking in her eyes made him feel more than a pencil pusher. She could actually feel the same amount of danger, if not more, coming off him right this moment than she ever felt being with Noah.
The desire to tell him everything at that very moment washed over her like strong waves washing over the rocks swelling from an ocean or sea shore.
However, Josh took her hesitation to mean she was still contemplating it, and he kissed her then said, “You don’t have to say anything today. I just wanted to let you know I’m here if you need me, okay?”
Summer, finally, after a few minutes of just staring at him, nodded. Josh took his own soothing breath, feeling he finally broke through to her. Josh rubbed her stretch pants encased leg, just trying to gratify his own burning need to just touch her.
He said, “Listen, I have a meeting to go to in a few hours so I have to leave. However, I don’t have much to do in the office. How about I come back here in the afternoon, pick you up and we go see the city? We can get something to eat, catch a movie or something or just find a park and just hang out. What do you say?”
Smiling, Summer shook her head. “Don’t you have a case to wrap up?”
“Fuck that case right now. I’m more concerned about you. Where are your keys?” She told him, and he stood. “I’ll lock up so you don’t have to get up. Why don’t you go have a bath, then get some sleep? I’ll call you when I’m on my way to pick you up.”
Josh leaned into her and kissed her on her forehead then leaned down and risked touching his lips to hers. As the hunger started to rise in him, he backed away. He then walked out of her apartment, locked all her doors, then out of the building to his car. Once inside, he closed his eyes. He gripped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles drained of all color.
He was seething with rage, needing, wanting, to release this on only one person. It was that moment that the tension eased from his hands, and he smiled. He started thinking of all the wonderful things he was going to do to Noah the moment he got his hands on him. He reached for his phone and called up the number he wanted. He started his car while his phone rang and connected through his car Bluetooth.
“What can I do for you?” the caller answered.
“Tell me what he’s doing,” Josh said simply as he drove to his apartment.
Chapter 8
Kenya
I’m really in trouble now. I’m beginning to love being in the light.
So almost two and a half months had gone by since Josh and I met and we have spent a lot of time together. The times we didn’t see each other, we’ve spoken by phone a lot. We’ve met some mornings at Sara’s, and he was taking me back and forth to work from Finn’s and LeMonts. It didn’t matter to Josh how late I was working either job. He was there no matter what. The times he couldn’t be there, he would send someone, i.e. Ivan, to make sure I got home safely.
When he wasn’t protecting me, he was making me laugh and making me fall for him deeper and deeper by the second. I loved talking to him. I loved being with him, and every time my phone would ring, my heart would beat double time with just the anticipation of hearing his voice. I never meant to catch feelings, but I had and I was not one hundred percent sure that he felt the same way. I mean, if you think about it, no man would spend as much time with a woman just for fun, but still the string of doubt was embedded in me. I’d been brought up not to expect good things to come my way.
Being with Josh, it was hard to keep those things in mind. It was the way he looked at me that had me believing he cared about me. The tender way he touched me and smiled at me. It seemed as though all of his sweet smiles and dimples were only made for me, and well, he had proven that time and time again. Any time he saw me I swear his face lit up, those beautiful dimples deepen, and I couldn’t help but melt right in his arms. I couldn’t be imagining things. I mean, things between us were heating up, so he had to feel something for me, right?
And when I say things were heating up, I’m not kidding. Holy shit. Every moment of everyday I wanted to kiss him, I wanted to feel his arms around me, I wanted to feel his body against mine. God, the things he made me feel was something I would have loved to explore, but I was afraid of that part. He never pushed me though, and we definitely had some hot make out sessions. And when I say hot make out sessions, I mean HOT.
I needed him. I felt so incomplete when we weren’t together, and what was weird was the moment those feelings of loss over him appeared, he either called me or showed up at my job. It was like he knew or could sense me needing him or something.
I was afraid of that, naturally, and who could blame me, right? Seriously, no human being should need another human being this much, unless they are a helpless infant. I knew it was unhealthy to need Josh the way that I do. Hell, what if he got tired of spending time with me? What would I do then? Maybe I was beginning to become too needy.
So I made a plan. Josh told me to call him when I got off work from LeMonts, and he would come and get me. For the last few days Josh had been working some crazy hours, and every time I saw him, he looked exhausted. He told me briefly what he was working on at work, and I offered to help him. International finance and business was my thing. It’s what good at, and I told him during my time in Princeton I got articles published in quite a few business journals on the topic. I could probably find whatever he was looking for a lot faster than he could because I knew what to look for, but he declined my offer. He said it would be unethical for me to help him, and even though no one would find out, he still didn’t let me help.
No matter how tired he was, he got out of bed, drove twenty minutes from town to Mt. Washington just to take me home. Then he drove back home to get up for a daily meeting he has scheduled in the early a.m.
Now please don’t think I’m selfish. I’ve told him I can take a cab home from work, or I’ll purposefully not call him when my shift ended. But wouldn’t you know it; he was sitting outside the building waiting for me anyway.
When he dropped me off, I would offer him my bed or my couch, anything to get him to not have to drive back home, but he would always decline. I was starting to feel really guilty, so when Mr. Creepy told me today I could leave early, I didn’t call Josh. I called a cab and made it home safe and sound. I took off my clothes and jumped in the shower, reminding myself that when I get out to text Josh and tell him I was home.
Once I got out of the shower, I did just that and said he should get some sleep. I did my usual night routine and removed my SIM card from my phone, in order to keep my movements a secret, and replaced it with another one. I pushed the button to turn my phone back on, climbed under my blanket and I swear I was asleep in two point two seconds.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
I rolled over and wondered who in the heck did my neighbor piss off this time? At least once a week some girl was cussing and yelling at my neighbor, Stanley, who moved in three weeks ago and lived across the hall. He had a different woman in his apartment almost every night. He tried to hit on me one time, but I looked at him and said, hell no! My saying no didn’t have anything to do with the way he looked or that Stanley wasn’t hot because he was, in that Abercrombie & Fitch model–type sort of way. He was tall and lean with like zero body fat. He had thick dark hair that always looks like a few hands had been raked through it. It was just that my sights were on another guy, and I had my hands full with just him.
Anyway, after I turned him down we were just cool.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Damn, that sounds close, and wait, did I just hear my name?
I reached for my phone and realized it was off. What the hell? I sat up and pushed the on button and realized then that when I changed my SIM card I didn’t turn my phone back on.
“Summer!” I heard the most egregious voice known to man, and I instantly jumped out of my bed.
I came out of my bedroom, turned the corner past my kitchen and got to my door.
“Who is it?” I asked.
Yeah, I knew who it was, but the question just came out.
“Open the door, Summer!” An angry Josh admonished.
I undid the chain and the deadbolt and opened the door to a red faced Josh. He moved past me just as my neighbor opened his door.
“Hey you, okay?” Stanley asked.
I felt the heat and that was from Joshua Cooper standing behind me.
“What the fuck do you want?”
Josh started to move me from the doorway when I realized I better diffuse this ticking time bomb behind me.
“Josh, this is my neighbor, Stanley. Stanley, yes, I’m fine thanks for asking and sorry if we woke you.”
Stanley looked at Josh for a minute longer then looked over at me. “Okay, well let me know if you need me.”
“Don’t worry she won’t.” Josh replied and closed my door.
I reeled around to find Josh’s back facing me as he walked around my apartment. I followed dumbfounded.
“What are you doing?”
He didn’t reply. He walked around my small space checking my bathroom, closets and headed to the back of my apartment to my backdoor.
“Josh!” I called.