Obsession, Loving An Alpha Male(14)

I felt it.

The problem is I wanted more. I just wasn’t sure if he wanted the same. I assumed maybe he did, but I was afraid to find out for sure.

No, I need to turn my focus off Josh and on to the game.

I needed my mind to be on something else, anyone else, other than Josh.

I sighed deeply, fighting back the emotions that were doing a serious battle with my heart and mind. I needed another drink. That’s what I really needed. Maybe if I got completely wasted, I wouldn’t think too much. As I walked around the suite, Josh reached for me and tucked me close to his side.

“You okay?” he asked.

I smiled up at him, letting the lie fall from my lips. “Never better.”





The rest of the game didn’t go well for my team. We lost, but the fireworks were spectacular from inside the stadium.

Everyone in the stadium had their eyes in the sky as color after color exploded before us, brightening up a darkened sky, illuminating the kid in all of us I watched mesmerized as I always did during Pittsburgh’s fireworks show. Most of the time I was on Mt. Washington watching, but this was the first time I’d ever been this close.

I stood in the back corner of the balcony of the suite as everyone else was seated in the bleachers and leaning closer to the balcony rails in front of them.

I felt Josh standing slightly behind me, and since alcohol is liquid courage, and I had a boatload of alcohol, I stepped back, hoping Josh wouldn’t reject me. I’m torturing myself, I know. I just want to believe in something, anything that would give me a sliver of hope.

A smile suddenly spread on my face the moment I felt the touch of his hand on my waist and the gentle pull backward to bring me flush up against him.

I leaned my head back against his chest, and he tightened his grip on me.

Feeling his chest rise and fall behind me, the smell of his cologne and the caress of his touch caused me to turn my head and look up at him. Damn it, I wanted to feel his lips again. I’d been dreaming about it since yesterday night when he kissed me for the first time.

So I ignored all the signs that this was a bad idea and for the first time in my life, I decided to go for something that I wanted, not caring what the outcome would be. I was slightly startled by what I saw in his eyes, but I didn’t falter. I wanted this.

I looked at his lips first, then back at his eyes, and I saw them fill with a heat so strong that it powered me to stretch up and touch my lips with his.

He met me half way. The kiss started out soft, just like it did the night before. Our tongues softly caressed each other, getting the feel of what each other liked and needed. I felt his hand caress my cheek ever so slightly as his lips caressed mine. His lips felt so good that I couldn’t help myself, I moaned softly.

That ‘um’ seemed to have lit some type of spark in Josh because our sweet kiss suddenly turned feral and hungry and downright lustful. Josh backed me up into the suite and wrapped me tight in his arms. My arms moved from gripping his large biceps up to his neck, and I brought my hands behind his head. I pulled his hat off and ran one of my hands in his hair while I held his hat in the other.

God, he felt good. I swear I felt my insides melt along with my panties as he deepened our kiss. Believe me when I say that no one will ever kiss my lips again but him. No one will ever touch me or hold me but this man before me. The strength I felt in his arms as he held me tight, his hard glorious body against mine, drove me delirious with need; not to mention the hardness I felt pressing in my stomach.

Holy shit, I truly want this man.

When he finally pulled back from me, he nipped my bottom lip then licked them softly before he completely pulled back from me.

Well, shit, that wasn’t what I expected.

I let a moan slip from my lips again, and I swore his beautiful blue eyes became dark as night.

I instinctively brought my fingers to my lips, trying to take in what just happened, as I tried to calm my breathing down.

“Wow, that was so amazing,” I mumbled, not caring if he heard me or not.

This was truly my first and real kiss. Can you believe that? I had never been kissed like this in my life. No man had ever made me feel the way I was feeling at this moment. Oh sure, I’ve been kissed before. I’m not saying I haven’t. I’ve kissed Wayne before and I may have kissed Noah, but kissing them was nothing compared to what Josh just did to me. His lips lit me on fire, leaving me desiring nothing but his taste, his touch and so much more.

I felt the rapid rise and fall of Josh’s chest, and I knew he was more than just physically affected by our kiss. I watched a barrage of emotions come over him as Josh closed his eyes, seemingly to gather himself. I decided at that moment to concentrate on my own breathing, instead of how wet my panties were.

“I need another drink,” I heard Aaron say, but I no longer cared about anyone else around me.

I looked at Josh expectantly, hoping that what I felt in that kiss was real. I wasn’t imagining that he wanted me just as much as I wanted him. He couldn’t deny that, could he?

I suddenly smiled at him. I don’t know why, I just wanted to let him know I was cool. That it was cool what just happened.

I was rewarded with one of his panty dropping smiles that I wished he would only use on me. He then looked over my head and reached behind me. I took that moment to inhale him deeply. When he pulled back with a glass of something dark in hand, he looked thoroughly amused.

“Did you just smell me?” he asked me.

I turned bright red stepped back from him and said, “Yes, I did. If you’ll excuse me.”

And yes I got out of there quick, fast and in a hurry. Number one, I needed to hide from embarrassment, and hell, number two, I needed to check my panties.







As we filed out of the stadium, Josh walked me to the subway in town. We made small talk, me asking him what he did for the company he worked for. Earlier he told me it was Howard and Bradshaw but he never went in depth. I told him that I worked for my father, then explained to him what I did I didn’t go into too much detail for fear of revealing more than I was ready for. I think Josh knew I was deflecting some of his questions, but still, he didn’t say anything about it.

Once we were on the subway platform, Josh put a protective arm around me.

“Are you sure I can’t talk you into letting me drive you home?”

I shook my head. “No, there’s no need really. Besides, we’d be waiting forever in traffic to get across the bridge. This is the quickest way.”

“Well, let me ride with you home, then. I hate the fact you’re traveling alone like this.”

I looked up at him and boldly rested my hands on his waist.

“I’ll be fine. I’ve made this trip many of times.”

Josh pulled me closer to him and kept his arms around me as well. “Yeah well, that was before I knew about it. I don’t feel right having you out here late at night like this.”

I felt the rumble before I actually saw it, or maybe what I felt was my own heartbeat bursting out of my chest. As the train came into view, I looked to see if it was mine, and it was.

I smiled. “I appreciate your concern. Really, I do. I promise though, I’ll be fine.”

“Call me the moment you get home.”

I nodded. “Yes, I’ll call you the moment I get home.”

I started to back away from him, but he didn’t let go of my waist.

I giggled lightly. “Joshua, I’ll be fine, seriously.”

As the train doors opened, he let me go. I walked on the train and looked back at him as the doors closed in front of me, trying not to acknowledge the sudden feeling of loneliness and loss.

It wasn’t working.

Seeing the doors close made the feeling of loss instantly hit me, and all I wanted to do was get these doors back open and get back in his arms. As the car started moving, I touched the glass and smiled, trying not to show the panic that I undoubtedly felt.

I quickly sat down in an open seat, and it wasn’t but a few seconds after the train pulled away when I felt my phone vibrate. I pulled it out and instantly felt better. I took a few deep breaths and answered.

“Did you get there yet?” I heard Josh ask.

I smiled brightly, unable to keep the excitement of hearing his voice.

“Um no, not yet.”

“How long will it take you to get home?”

“Um, not long. I’ll be at Station Square in about ten minutes then I’ll catch a cab to my place.”

“So what are you doing tomorrow?” Josh asked.

“Working both jobs tomorrow actually,” I told him.

We settled into a light conversation, talking more about my job here in Pittsburgh and the other cities where I used to work. I pretty much gave him some type of idea that I was running from my family. I didn’t mean to reveal so much, but then again, I couldn’t seem to stop if I wanted to. So I just gave him a play–by–play on my travels from New Jersey to Alabama to Tennessee up to Kentucky then Ohio then to Pittsburgh. I told him I was planning on making it out to the West Coast as soon as the weather changed here, but I had recently changed my mind, or rather, postponed my trip.

“Oh yeah.” I heard the grin in his voice. “What made you change your plans?”

“Well, Joy and I have really gotten close, and I would hate to leave her.”

I smiled, then laughed as I heard Josh groan through the phone.