When the conversation moved to sports, I smiled and asked, “You said the men of your family were Yankee fans, has it always been like that?”
Josh smiled, allowing it to reach his eyes. “Oh yeah, my father always took me and my brothers to a game in New York growing up, and to this day, it’s still a tradition. On opening day, the Cooper men would make the trip to Yankee’s Stadium.”
Josh began to tell me about the experiences he and his brothers had with his father, and I instantly felt envious. See, good fathers are out there; it just sucked to not be one of the privileged.
“So, what sports have you played in high school?” I asked him, just to keep the conversation going.
Josh leaned back in the bleachers with a smile still on his face. He looked to me like he relaxed a bit and actually welcomed the way things were turning.
“Man, I pretty much played what they offered; football, basketball, and baseball.”
“No lacrosse?” I grinned.
He shook his head. “Nah, no lacrosse. As a matter of fact, I did think about it. It was a conflict between that and baseball, and well, I chose baseball.”
“Were you good at any of the sports you played?”
“Um, I was okay. I played just to say that I did. You know, for my father. When I went to college, I was too busy chasing women to worry about playing.”
I laughed and shook my head. “I can only imagine how much chasing you did.”
He grinned. “Yeah, I did a lot of chasing, but not as much as some other guys I knew.”
“Oh I’m sure.” I rolled her eyes.
“No, for real. I mean, I’m not gonna sugar coat it. I did my fair share of dating and messing around, but I was always honest with the girls I was with. I never led them on and was always up front with what I wanted.”
“Yeah, so you’ve never been in a long lasting relationship?” I asked, and I hoped the slip of the tongue that I hoped didn’t cost me.
Josh just watched me for a moment before he said, “No, actually, I haven’t been in a long lasting relationship.”
“Why is that? I mean, I’m sure you’ve met someone that, I don’t know, wanted to spend forever with you.”
Josh tugged on his cap that was placed firmly on his head and shrugged. “Oh, I’m sure that I have. I’ll admit that I’ve met some pretty great women throughout my life. But I guess I never met someone that made me want to settle down.”
“So you’ve never been in love?” I asked, knowing I was pushing it.
Josh tilted his head to the side, however, and kept a heated gaze on me.
“I thought I was getting close to it once, but no, I’ve never been in love.”
He held my gaze for a moment longer, and I could feel his sincerity.
Then he flipped the script and asked, “What about you?
“Me?” I asked, exasperated.
Josh grinned and leaned forward and looked at me.
“Yeah you, Sweets. Have you ever been in love?”
I took a deep breath and tried to look aloof, but I could feel Josh read every emotion I went through in my body language. He didn’t push me though. He waited patiently, letting me decide what I wanted and didn’t want to say.
It didn’t take long for me to decide, and I took a deep breath and said, “Well, with my best friend, or ex–friend, Wayne, I thought that I was in love, but that wasn’t the case. And well, I guess I was in a relationship with this guy named Noah, but I wasn’t in love with him so…”
“You weren’t in love? How long were you and Noah together?”
“Not long, about six months I think,” I answered and started ringing my hands together.
“How did you two meet?” Josh asked softly.
“Well, my father actually introduced us, and at first, I didn’t like him at all. I thought he was an arrogant asshole. I was actually dating Wayne at the time Noah and I met. Well, I thought I was dating him.”
Josh frowned confused, and I sighed again and told Josh about Wayne; the safe story.
“Wayne Markinson was my best friend growing up. We were inseparable, to say the least. His family and mine were close, and our families vacationed together and ate Sunday dinners and even spent some holidays together. Wayne’s father and mine were business partners of some kind and college roommates. Wayne and I were two years apart, and once we got older we became good friends. Wayne was the only person my father would let me hang around with. He sort of trusted Wayne, and really so did I.”
“Wayne and I went to Princeton together and right before we graduated we decided to start dating. I always had a crush on him growing up, but in college, when we both came into our own, my strong like turned to love. And once he told me he felt the same way, I just knew we would be together.”
“What happened?” Josh asked.
I shrugged. “I can’t begin to tell you. One minute we were hanging out all the time, going to the movies, dinner, making plans for a future then next he was ignoring my calls. He started posting pictures of him and other girls hanging out on social media sites with his friends. His family would come to dinner at my house every Sunday without him, and he just stopped coming around. I was stunned, you know. I mean, I thought we were friends first and foremost. He and I were kindred spirits growing up, and I thought he got me better than anyone. I felt like he had my back no matter what, and I completely trusted him.”
“But one Sunday he just walked in my house after being MIA for a few weeks, telling me he didn’t want me anymore. He told me I was just a kid, and he wanted a real woman and had no time to show me how to be one.” I rolled my eyes and chuckled lightly. “Well, at that point, I had already met Noah, and he was truly digging his claws in me, but I was still holding out for Wayne. We had history together, he was my best friend. I wanted to know what I did to make him stop calling me, talking to me.” I looked down at my hands and added softly, “Why he didn’t want me anymore.”
Josh remained quiet for a spell then asked, “So, this Wayne guy was your best friend growing up and then out of the blue he just stopped talking to you, hanging out with you?”
I nodded. “Yup, I couldn’t figure out what happened, and well, I left shortly after, so I never got a chance to ask anything further. All I know is he broke my heart, and at the age of nineteen, it was devastating.”
“I can understand how that can be hard to deal with. You were young, and he was your first love it sounds like… I told you I never experienced that, but I have a little sister, so I know it must have been hard. What about this Noah guy? He what, swooped in and became your knight in shining armor?”
I scoffed and crossed my arms to my chest. “He swooped in all right, but I wouldn’t say he was that honorable.”
“Yeah, what would you say?”
I shivered outwardly and closed my eyes thinking of all the things I could say Noah was. A sadist would be one, but I kept my mouth closed. I felt Josh take my hand in his, and I opened my eyes just as he kissed it. I met his eyes, and we held each other, me getting the message he was sending loud and clear.
Our trance was broken when the crowd around us went crazy. We both looked at the field to see that the Yankees hit a homerun.
Josh smiled brightly, kissed my hand again and was then bum rushed by his co–workers in the suite. I laughed and balled up a few pieces of napkins I had and threw them at him, laughing hysterically and feeling the weight and whatever it was between us lifting. Josh and a few others did a horrible imitation of the cabbage patch dance from the eighties, which was hilarious on its own and talked trash to some Pirates fans that were around us. As I watched, I was completely thankful that Josh didn’t push me and completely thankful that the Yankees took that moment to hit a home run.
My smile soon faded though as I thought about today. I came here thinking this could be the beginning of something with a man I never thought I would meet, but as our date was coming to a close, I was starting to second–guess everything. Josh was amazing, don’t get me wrong, and he had done nothing to make me feel this way. It was just the unbelievable feeling I got when I was with him that made me wonder if this was my moment.
Hope just wasn’t in the cards for me, having happily ever after or just happiness wasn’t something I was used to feeling. I keep waiting for me to wake up from some dream that would undoubtedly become a nightmare, that everything that has happened so far would just be my imagination.
I was so hooked on him. There were feelings stirring in the pit of my stomach. A desire and need for him came over me every time he looked at me, or when he was close to me. I wanted to be in his arms again, I’ll admit it. I wanted to feel those powerful lips again that seemed to have a force behind them so strong I craved for more of him with each stroke of his tongue. I was dying to know how his hands would feel caressing my body.
This shit was driving me insane. I just wanted him, and it wasn’t just in a physical way. God, it was so much more. When I was around him, the need for him just overwhelmed me. I needed to feel his protection. I needed to see him, to touch him, to feel him. It was nothing that he’d said or promised to make me feel that way, but it was the way he looked at me, how he touched me, that I knew, I just knew, that no matter what, he had me. I knew he could protect me.