Slamming into me, Ronin grunted with the exertion of his need. He chased my orgasm, drunk on the pleasure he'd brought me. Quivering, he flexed his back, head thrown high as he filled me up. The force was enough that I wondered, briefly, if the condom would hold him back.
“Fuck,” he groaned. Shivering, he braced his fists in the grass. Though he'd finished, he stayed within me for a long while. I was scared to move, worried I'd wake him from his trance and we'd simply break apart. I wanted this moment to keep lasting.
Inevitably, Ronin gingerly withdrew, causing me to whimper again. Being so empty, after being so full, was awful.
We were separated, but the connection between us was as good as steel-threading. Looking down on me, the shadows shifting away, Ronin spoke my name. It was plaintive, as if he were trying to communicate more than who I was. “Flora...”
I bubbled with the need to respond in kind.
“Connor, that was—”
I froze, realizing what I'd called him. Nervously I sought out his eyes, trying to predict how he would react. He'd told me his real name, but for me to use it here, in the thick of everything? Would it remind him of his past, of his pain?
In the fading orange glow, the biker smiled. “It's been a long time since anyone has called me that.” Reaching out, he led me into the warm curve of his torso. His chin rested on my scalp, my heart thumping through my vertebrae and into his chest.
We said no more, but we didn't need words. We were lavishing in the tangible evidence of our emotions. I could have put a label on it, but trying to was pointless.
Here, right now, everything was stunningly perfect.
As I drifted off to sleep, lulled by his scent and security, I had the awful fear that this was the only time it ever would be.
****
A gentle birdsong woke me before the sun was even up. The world was hazy blue, still clinging to shadows. Next to me, a furnace roared, though our fire had long gone out.
Ronin.
He was on his side, his spine pointed at me. His jacket was spread over us like a small blanket, but it was his presence that kept me warm. Dawn advertised the ruggedness of his face. I'd never seen him look so peaceful. I wanted to remember it.
Adjusting the jacket, I heard the crumple of paper. The map we'd been following winked at me from his pocket. It had carried us this far, leading us towards the crossroads the dying man had told me about back at Roach's.
Lulled by the sound of Ronin's breathing, I let my mind work. Silence was good for this, but truthfully, I'd felt my decision weighing heavily on me from the moment my eyes had opened.
So much had happened between us last night. It took all my effort not to wrap my fingers in his so I could watch him wake up. Would he smile? Would he pull me in for a kiss?
Touching my throat, I grazed the subtle bruise he'd gifted me with.
Ronin had shown me a side of him I'd hoped was real, but feared to wish for. He was haunted by death, a chain that choked him every day and pulled him lower in the dirt. I'd managed to give him a moment of freedom from his demons.
I was glad for that.
Even knowing what I was about to do... I was glad.
He'd spoken much about choices and responsibility. I wasn't in denial about Claudine's habits. She could indulge, and still be the woman I looked up to.
A sinner... and a saint.
I can be a saint, too.
Leaving Ronin behind was the right thing to do. He'd tried to do the same for me, once, and I hadn't understood why. Now I did.
It was my turn to shed my sins.
Gripping the map, I took another second to feel for the bulge of his keys. Once I had them, I started to move. The heavy outline of his gun made me stop.
Mine is out of ammo.
Leaving Ronin defenseless was a rusty nail in my heart. But showing up to save Claudine, unarmed, would be my death sentence. Eyeing his sleeping body, I grimaced. No choice. I need it.
Tugging his gun free, I crawled away. My clothes were strewn about, a reminder of what we'd done. I hurried to change in the cool morning air, sticking his pistol into the back of my pants.
With nothing left to do, I approached the motorcycle. It was waiting for me, starting to shimmer as the sun peeked from behind the bloated clouds. Astride the chrome vehicle, I took a long inhale, steeling myself.
The engine revved to life without any subtlety.
Behind me, I felt Ronin stirring. And I was sure, as I rolled onto the road, that the man who'd laid with me until the early hours was calling my name. Screaming it, shouting and tearing at the damn heavens in the hope I would just look back at him.
But I never looked back. Not once.
It was for the best.
Chapter Eleven
Ronin
“Well done, Flora.”
I stood naked in the middle of the road and watched my bike ride off out of view. I had chased her, but didn't come close to catching up. “How many times do I have to learn this lesson before it gets drilled into my fucking head?” My whole body tensed at being played so damn hard.