He blamed me for the death of his father, if not directly, than by association. A big part of me agreed with him. I should've done more, but as much as I wanted to, I couldn't have come back any sooner. Not while Tonya was still my brother's legal guardian.
“You're no different than your mother. Leave. Kait. Alone.” Brendan ignored the concerned calls from his friends and pushed the gun harder. My head yielded slightly beneath the searing kiss of the metal barrel.
His words stung more than the burning metal. I hated my mother and had spent years distancing myself from her morally and psychologically, but I couldn't cut her completely out of my life, not when she basically held my younger brother for ransom.
“I'm sorry,” I closed my eyes. I'd been to Afghanistan twice, I was no stranger to being that close to death. I wasn't a psychopath, though, and the thought of death still scared the hell out of me. It always would. But the military taught me not to be controlled by that fear. Fighting for the things you love sometimes meant not fighting at all. Sometimes you just had to stand strong. “I can't.”
I felt the gun shake in Brendan's hand.
“If I catch you with her again...” He didn't need to finish the threat, I understood his intention. Brendan was never good at concealing his emotions. He was always straight forward and genuinely meant everything he said. It made being his friend easy, because I always knew what was on his mind.
It unfortunately made being his enemy easy too.
The heat and pressure abruptly disappeared. Brendan holstered his gun. One of his friends tried to comfort Brendan by putting a hand on his shoulder. Brendan brushed it off and got back into his truck and left.
I got all my effects back, but my bike was impounded because it was too damaged to ride. Officer Drew Winter told me, in no uncertain terms, that as far as the law was concerned I just lost control of my bike. And that nothing else happened.
I didn’t bother asking for a ride across town to my motel, I knew I wouldn't get one. The long walk cleared my head.
For years Brendan and I had been inseparable.
Gone were the days we walked along the creek as children, trying to catch frogs. I could still recall which Xmen we were when we played. I could remember, years later, the first time we smuggled a bottle of Southern Comfort from his dad's liquor cabinet.
Growing up, I was at his house more than my own. I got to see Kait's transformation from a bratty kid sister to a beautiful woman. It was the last six months, when we moved in officially because our parents were dating, that everything fell apart.
All that was gone. Brendan and I were both so different now. We were hardened by tragedy and time. I'd lost too many overseas to not cherish the very few friends I had left, even if they did hate me.
Had Brendan pulled that trigger, I'd have ruined my friend's life for a second time.
Maybe he was right. Maybe I should've never come back at all. Everyone seemed to be doing fine without me. Had I really missed my window? Eight years was an eternity. Even Kait seemed happy enough at the wedding.
What the fuck was I really doing here? Was it just selfishness that brought me back to Springfield?
I felt like an astronaut floating in space, only to return home and find that the world has moved on without him.
Chapter 9
Kait
Please don't go.
Could I be any more desperate? It was so pathetic.
I spent most of my morning in my bedroom staring at the ceiling, running over the events of last night in my head and nursing a hangover. Mal came back and swept me off my feet. It still felt surreal. All those muscles and tattoos, he looked so good that my breath quickened at the thought of them.
As amazing as the date had been, I had this pit in my stomach from the whole thing. I shouldn't have had sex with him. Never have sex with someone you have that many conflicting emotions for, especially if they've just stormed back into your life after a million years.
More than that, it felt like a betrayal to my father. Brendan laid the blame for Dad's passing more on Mal than I did. When I'd argue with him about it, he'd just say that I was blinded by my feelings for Mal like Dad was with Tonya.
I understood how Brendan felt, but I knew Mal; I grew up with him. Mal wasn't anything like his mom. Just before he and his brother moved in Mal had finally started to notice me. I was only a grade younger than he was, but back then that was enough of a barrier. That and I was always so shy and reserved.
After a little while all the barriers between us started to fall away. When Brendan was playing football, Mal would take me on hikes. Sometimes we'd all go to the movies together. They weren't really dates, but Mal and I would hold hands in secret.
Eventually we stopped caring about the secrecy and just started hanging out in public, just the two of us. Brendan was pissed at first, but even he got over it.