Obsession (A Bad Boy's Secret Baby)(105)

To be honest, most of my best moments involved Ronin, in some way.

The biker had remained at my side as I healed from my gunshot, but more than that... his concern and devotion had been there from the start. The night he'd yanked me over his shoulder, shoving me away from Lucky's brothel, I hadn't known what would happen.

Not this, I thought with a wistful smile. I never imagined this.

When I'd told him I needed to go back to Lakeview, he'd said he was coming along. It had nothing to do with me wanting to live in that barren town again, of course. I'd wanted to make sure of a couple of things.

One, that my parents were still alright—and they were.

And two...

I needed to know that Fiddle was gone.

A big part of me had hoped he'd still be there. But when we'd rolled up, the scum of a man had cleared out. No doubt he'd gotten word of what had gone down with the Knights.

I didn't care where he was as long as he was out of the picture, but... sometimes?

Sometimes, I imagined him at the bottom of a ditch. That was cathartic.

Pulling away from Lakeview, Claudine at my side, was something from a dream. It had been exactly what I'd longed for, back when we were younger. That wasn't even that long ago, but the old me felt a galaxy away.

I'd changed, and I knew that. I didn't mind. I just thought about snakes again, and shedding their skin. I had seen a shadow on the world, looked into the grim eyes of terrible people. But I'd come out the other side, and from the darkness, something greater—brighter—had bloomed.

Smiling at Ronin... at Connor... I motioned for us to stop. He got the hint, as did my sister. Together we pulled off the road, our tires kicking up the hard, packed dirt that came with these cold times. Tugging my helmet free, I smoothed my hair.

“What's up?” Ronin asked, idling beside me.

Faced with his searing hazel eyes, those charming lips, I hesitated. “Nothing. I just wanted to stop for a rest.”

Claudine caught my eye, and in the way only sister's can, she read my mind. Turning her bike, she said, “You guys rest. I want to see what's up this way, see you in a bit!”

That wonderful woman. She really did know me to my core.

Hopping off my motorcycle, I stretched my arms high. Ronin didn't climb down, but that was fine. He could be anywhere, and as long as I could touch him... everything would always be fine.

He tilted his head as I approached, his smirk starting to spread. “What's that look for?” he asked.

“What look?” Bending against his thigh, my hands came up, knowing where they wanted to be. My fingertips caressed his jaw, exploring the stubble and scars I knew so well. The map that made up this man was one I'd traveled many times.

Chuckling, a sound low and gritty, he pulled me onto the bike in front of him. Sitting in his lap as I was, he had no trouble catching my chin, drawing me close. He spoke with nothing but the air between us. “That look, darlin'.”

Tangling my grip in his hair, I kissed him as softly as I could. My palm rolled down, brushing his hard shoulders—the smooth leather of his vest. Ronin's new patches tracked under my nails, their edges giving me comfort.

I wanted to kiss him forever. What a beautiful existence that would have been. Somehow, along the way, I'd fallen in love with a man that was both angel and demon. I craved both sides of him, because that was who he was—he needed both.

So did I.

Cupping my cheeks, he held me back enough so we could breathe. The proof of our desire swirled in the cool air, condensing in white waves. “You're in a good mood,” he said.

Watching him through my eyelashes, my smile went sideways. “I'm just really happy. This... everything...” Turning, I gestured at the empty road, the sky above, trying to explain something so much bigger than myself. “Connor, everything is perfect. Every day, I want to tell you again and again that I love you. That I love this.”

Setting his chin on my head, he held me against his chest. I could feel his heart beating, a music for the ages. “Careful. If you say it too much, it'll become boring.” I started to pull away, but he chuckled, telling me he was joking.

Nuzzling closer, like it was possible to blend into one person, I sighed. Life was so strange. I used to hate this man. I'd tried to run from him, and once, I actually had. That still cut me deep, recalling the memory of his voice as I drove down that Florida strip.

He said he forgave me.

I didn't know if I could ever forgive myself.

In my soul, I wanted to make up for every perceived betrayal that had been carved there by me. My anger at Claudine, when she'd turned her back and broke my trust, swam among all of it. I didn't blame her, not anymore, but I suspected my sister was haunted by her flaws. It was possible she always would be.