Obsession(77)

“All right,” I said to Dr. Carmichael. “Let’s try it today.”

“Some people are more comfortable on the couch during this kind of session,” she said.

The idea of being on a shrink’s couch freaked me out a bit. “I think I’d rather stay in the chair.”

“Why don’t you pull the handle to let it recline. I need you to be relaxed, Talon, or this won’t work.”

I released the lever and let my feet rise. “Understood,” I said.

“I’m going to dim the lights, and then we’ll begin, okay?”

I nodded. Now or never.

Dr. Carmichael came back and took the chair opposite me. “Are you comfortable? Do you need a pillow or a blanket?”

“I’m fine.”

“All right,” she said. “The first thing you need to know about hypnosis is that it’s more than a state of relaxation. It can be any state where you disassociate and become more focused and more suggestible. Do you ever have flashbacks, Talon?”

I fidgeted, gripping the chair as usual. I nodded slightly.

“I understand that’s a difficult thing for you to admit. But I’m asking because I want you to understand that during those flashbacks, you’re most likely in a state of self-induced hypnosis. I think it’s necessary for you to know that before we proceed.”

“I don’t understand.”

“There’s nothing for you to be concerned about. I will guide you through your hypnosis session, and if you become uncomfortable or if for any other reason you want to stop, it’s important that you understand that you can stop at any time. You will remain in control.”

A shiver ran through me. I nodded.

“What sort of things trigger your flashbacks?”

“It can be anything. A glass of water on the table. Or…” My girlfriend massaging an intimate part of me. I wasn’t ready to tell her that yet.

Dr. Carmichael nodded. “You’re reacting to a posthypnotic suggestion when you have a flashback. Otherwise known as a trigger. In these instances, hypnosis is not relaxation at all.”

“How can I be reacting to a posthypnotic suggestion? I’ve never been hypnotized before.”

“It’s a phenomenon known as environmental posthypnotic suggestion. It occurs when a person’s been through a traumatic experience, and certain triggers cause them to relive the emotional and physical trauma that they experienced. For example, someone who’s been shot could react to any sound that sounds like a gunshot—a firecracker for instance, or a car backfiring.”

I nodded, still shaking a bit.

“I want you to understand all of this before we begin. I will do my best to keep you relaxed, but if you feel yourself tightening up, you just tell me that you want to stop. All that said, do you want to proceed?”

Was I really ready to relive all of this? Because that was no doubt what would happen. “Doc, let me ask you a hypothetical question.”

“Go ahead.”

“Say you have a patient who’s been through a horrific experience, a childhood trauma, and it has colored his whole life. Can he recover?” I’d asked this before, but I needed to hear the answer again. Needed to know I was going in the right direction.

“Does he want to recover?”

I closed my eyes. “Very much so.”

“Then he can, but he must first face what happened to him. Only then will he be able to deal with it and move forward.”

Words I’d heard many times before. I cleared my throat. I needed to do this. For my brothers, for Marj, especially for Jade. And more than all of them combined, I needed to do this for myself.

“Let’s do it then, Doc,” I said.

“Then close your eyes, and we’ll get started.”



Warmth coated my face, and I shut my eyes against the sun’s rays. I inhaled the scent of beach—sand, coconut sunscreen, that slightly fishy scent that was actually pleasant. The waves crashed to the shore, the sound of them soothing. I breathed in the salty air. My energy rose as the ozone swelled from the crashing waves, fueling the air with oxygen. I lay on top of a plush beach towel on a chaise longue, my knees elevated, my back relaxed.

All was right with the world. I opened my eyes. Next to me Jade sat, her lush body clothed in a silvery-blue one-piece that matched her eyes. She looked over at me and smiled, and my heart thundered. My fingers were entwined around hers.

I closed my eyes again, breathed in deeply, and let it out slowly. Tension seeped out of my muscles, and I melted further into the lush towel covering my chair. The sun’s rays heated my skin, and then a cool breeze drifted over me. I moved my feet on either side of the chair and wiggled my toes in the sand.