And still he thrust.
“Tell me you like it, Jade. Tell me you like it.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Talon
I forced my withdraw from her tight sweet body and curled into a fetal position at the foot of the bed.
Tell me you like it, boy. Tell me you like it.
How could I have said those words to her? What kind of monster was I?
“Talon?” Her sweet voice came from the head of the bed. “What happened?”
She was out of breath. I had interrupted her in the middle of an orgasm.
I couldn’t answer with the truth. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t. “I’m sorry, blue eyes. Maybe I just wasn’t ready for this.”
“It’s okay,” she said. “Could you untie my wrists, please?”
I lay, still curled up, hearing her words and comprehending them but unable to move.
“Please?” she said again.
I jerked my head up. I couldn’t leave her tied up when she was asking to be released. She trusted me, and no matter how misplaced that trust was, I had to honor it. Willing my muscles to move, I crawled to the head of the bed and unbound her.
She sat up, rubbing her wrists. “What happened?”
“I…told you. I wasn’t ready for this.” There was a grain of truth in the words. I’d had anal sex before, despite my past. But anal sex with Jade… God, the pleasure… I’d been so inside myself, inside her, feeling everything she felt, feeling the love, the trust…
She smiled. “Talon, I love you, but that’s bull, and we both know it. You were enjoying yourself. Now what happened?”
Yes, I had been enjoying myself. Why had I said those terrible words to her? “I…can’t…”
“You can’t what?”
“Can’t…”
She caressed my cheek with her soft hand. “It’s okay.”
I shook my head. It wasn’t okay. It wasn’t okay at all. I had been so close to her, one with her, and I had ruined it. My eyes filled, but I willed the tears not to fall.
“Do you believe I trust you now?”
I cleared my throat but couldn’t speak for a few seconds. Then, “You’re amazing,” I said softly.
She smiled again.
“I…”
“What?”
“I’m not worthy of you, Jade.”
She dropped her beautiful ruby-red lips into an O. “Why on earth would you say that?”
I let out a scoff. “Because it’s true, that’s why.”
“Isn’t that for me to decide? I chose to put my trust in you, and you didn’t let me down. We’ll try another time. It doesn’t matter.”
“It matters,” I said. “There are things you don’t know.”
“I’m right here. I’ve got two good ears, and I’m a good listener. Tell me anything. I promise it won’t affect how much I love you or trust you.”
I let out a heavy sigh. “Something happened to me… Some unimaginable things.”
“What kinds of things?”
My vocal cords froze. Chills dashed through my neck, and I was paralyzed, unable to speak further. After a moment or two of silence, she crawled toward me and snuggled up to my body, her skin like silk.
“I will never pressure you to say anything you’re not ready to say,” she said. “But I can promise you that nothing will change my feelings about you.”
And in that moment—that moment where she had showed me the ultimate trust—I actually believed her.
“Last time at the end of our session, we decided we would talk about what happened to you when you were ten,” Dr. Carmichael said.
I sat in the usual spot, clenching the arms of the hunter-green recliner. I nodded.
“Do you want to go there today? Are you feeling up to it?”
I couldn’t help chuckling. “If I waited to until I felt up to it, I’d be dead and buried before it happened.”
“I understand. We will get to it, Talon, but it’s not absolutely essential that it happen today.”
“So you’re letting me off the hook?”
“You’re not on any hook. What you say here is your choice. If you’re not ready to talk about that, would you like to try the guided hypnosis today? Maybe we can find out what you were dreaming about when you ended up with your hands around Jade’s neck.”
I didn’t like the idea of someone inside my head any more than I liked the idea of talking about certain things, but I desperately needed to figure out why I had ended up in that position with Jade. I had to, if I wanted a future with her. As it stood now, I would not spend the night with her again until I was certain I would never hurt her.