“I’m in love with him.”
Silence on the other end of the line. An entire minute passed, according to the second hand on my watch. “Marj?”
“Yeah, I’m here.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“You should be sorry.” Her voice was rough, strained. “I thought we didn’t have secrets.”
A lump clogged my throat. “I know. I’m so, so sorry. I just didn’t know how to tell you. The thing between Talon and me kind of came out of nowhere.”
“Jade, you lived at the ranch for over a month. You don’t really expect me to believe that there was no way you could find a minute to tell me in that amount of time.”
I bit my lip. Marj had every right to be furious with me. I was furious with myself. I owed her more than secrecy. “I know. I’m sorry. I just didn’t know what you’d think of your brother and me…”
“You didn’t give me the chance to think anything about it.” Her voice was tight, as if the words were strangling her.
Worry choked me. Talon had been more than his usual “off” last night. He’d gone crazy, yelling at me to “make it stop.” Make what stop? I still didn’t know. “I… I think Talon needs help, Marj. I think he needs to see a psychiatrist or therapist or something.”
“Jade, you have to help me out here. Which conversation are we having? Are we having a conversation about my brother’s mental health, or are we having a conversation about the fact that you and my brother have been falling in love for the last month and I didn’t even know about it?” Her voice shook, anger lacing through her words.
You and my brother falling in love, she’d said. The truth was, I had no idea if Talon was in love with me. He’d told me from the beginning that he’d never love me, and my desire for him had been so great that I hadn’t cared at the time. I’d told Marj that I was in love with Talon. I hadn’t told her he was in love with me.
“Look, I don’t have a car. I took a cab here. I really can’t talk to you about this over the phone.” Tears misted in my eyes. “Tomorrow? Please?” After the dinner I’d just shared with my mother and her boyfriend, Nico Kostas, I was exhausted. Marj deserved better than dealing with me in this state. Hell, I was lucky she was still talking to me after this secret I’d kept.
“Nope. Sorry. We’re having this conversation now.”
I nodded, knowing full well that Marj couldn’t see me. “All right. Where do I start?”
“Start with why the hell my brother asked you to leave my house.”
“The answer to that question is a big, resounding ‘I don’t know.’”
“I don’t buy it, Jade. You say you’re in love with my brother.”
“Yes.” I gulped.
“Then why in the world would he ask you to leave? Does he not share your feelings?”
“I have no idea. I never told him my feelings.”
Silence again. Then, “Is he in love with you?”
A jackknife slid into my heart. “No. He’s not.”
“I’m not understanding any of this.”
“I don’t understand either. Let me just start at the beginning.”
For the next hour, I chronicled my time with Talon. I left out the specifics of our incredible sex, but other than that, I spared no detail to my best friend. I told her how we’d met in the kitchen during the night and talked, how he kissed me, how he told me he’d never love me but that he needed me, craved me…right up until last night, when he’d treated me to an elegant dinner in his room.
“I can’t believe all this was going on under my own roof and I had no idea,” Marj said.
“Well, it was mostly at night, and you know you can sleep through anything.”
“But Jade, why would you keep this from me? We tell each other everything.”
I sniffed. “I know. It’s just… He’s your brother, and something about him… I guess I just didn’t feel like I was at liberty to say anything. You know how closed off he is.”
“He’s not as closed off as I thought he was. Frankly, I’m thrilled that he connected with you. I’m not sure Talon has ever connected with anyone before.”
“But that’s just the problem. I’m not sure we really ever did connect. I mean, he would shut me out at every turn. Even after an…intimacy.”
“You mean a fuck? You can say the word, Jade. You were fucking my brother. I can take it. I just don’t understand why you couldn’t confide in me.”
I didn’t know how else to explain it to her. I had wanted to confide in her, but Talon was so impenetrable sometimes. He had so many walls built up around him. I didn’t feel like I could tell anyone about what was going on between us, not even my best friend. How could I make her understand that?