Dad was all smiles, a grin spreading from one ear to the other and broadening as Alyssa moved closer. She made an absolutely beautiful bride in her simple but elegant white sheath wedding gown and shimmering veil. I wondered how she had managed to find such an elegant dress for herself but dumped me in a ball gown from Candyland? I made a mental note to ask my bridesmaids when and if I ever got married for their input in their gowns.
I was quiet through the whole ceremony, but I didn’t really pay attention to the words being said as my mind was focused on Josh and our impending breakup. It was painful that I had invested almost two years of my life with someone who had turned out to be an asshole. It was even more painful that my dad had seen it, warned me, but I was too grown-up to listen to anything he had to say. As I stood there, listening to the couple exchange vows of happiness and forever love, I felt tears well in my eyes and fought hard to control myself. I would let the tears fall in private, if at all.
The ceremony was short and sweet; within minutes, my dad was married. He kissed the bride so intensely that people started shouting “get a room.” I couldn’t imagine what was going to go down in his room that night. The thought alone almost made me gag. I didn’t want to know what my dad did behind closed doors alone, much less with his new wife. The thought of him, straddled by Alyssa, was too much to bear; I started giggling, forgetting my sorrows. Nick looked at me with a confused look and a smile. I had a feeling that he was going to bring that up in conversation sooner or later.
Dad and Alyssa looked so blissful together. I wondered if I would ever find such happiness. I had been happy with Josh at first, until he started treating me like shit. I had already rehearsed the conversation I would have with him when we returned to school in a few weeks. Somewhere inside me, I still liked him, but I knew that with him, I was never going to be as happy as the couple in front of me. We had no future together.
“So, what’s so funny?” Nick asked me once the ceremony was over and people were beginning to disperse to enjoy the cocktails. Waiters were passing around hors d'oeuvres and drinks.
“I can’t tell you,” I said to him. “I’d have to kill you if I did.”
“It was something naughty, right?” he asked.
I nodded, hoping he’d take a hint. I wasn’t in the mood to talk with him or anyone for that matter.
“Dance with me?” he asked as the music started, attempting to drag me onto the dance floor, but I resisted his pull. He soon gave up and went away.
I sat on one of the chairs and observed people. Dad and his new wife were dancing and laughing in each other’s arm. Todd seemed to be having fun dancing with one of his female cousins. A couple of my extended family members approached me for light conversation. Maybe I hadn’t had enough alcohol to loosen my tongue, but I must have been boring as they quickly moved on to more interesting people. I was pissed about Josh and the fact that it took so long for me to realize we didn’t need to be together.
I suddenly felt suffocated; I needed to escape. Once I was sure no one was paying attention to me, I grabbed a bottle of champagne from one of the tables and slipped away from the main deck towards the pool. I needed a little bit of breathing space to think as well as to enjoy my booze without company.
Thankfully, the pool area was deserted. I put the bottle of champagne down next to me and lay back on a poolside lounge chair, straightening my gown as best as I could. I wished I could just strip to my underwear and get into the water, but that would hardly be ideal if someone found me. Besides, eventually I would have to go back and mingle with the crowd before my dad got worried. I closed my eyes, trying to relax. I was feeling so alone that I almost wished Josh had come to the wedding. He might be an ass but at least he would have behaved knowing my dad was around the corner. But what use was that? I was about to call it quits with him, and having him here would have been unfair to him. Like I really cared about what was going to be fair with him. Taking a swig from the full bottle of champagne, I hoped a little bit of liquor would soothe my sorrows.
“You know, you shouldn’t drink alone.” Nick walked across the pool area, holding two glasses. “And before you attack me, I wasn’t stalking you. I just noticed you weren’t around and wanted to make sure you’re okay. One of the crew saw you heading this way. I’m guessing that dress is like a beacon when you move.”
I smiled, looking down at the dress. He had a good sense of humor.
“Let me guess. My mom’s choice, right?”
“Yes. Your mom,” I answered, another smile on my face. I wanted to add that she had terrible taste in bridesmaids’ dresses, but he spoke before I could.