“I know I’m as obsessed with you as you are with me, and we love each other.”
I groaned and walked past him. He was just going to keep arguing with me. He wouldn’t stop until he won. I knew it. He knew it. Why wasn’t I just giving in right now?
“I’m not going to the city with you after I’m finished high school,” I told him, “and that’s the end of that. Get over it. Move on.”
“No.”
“Why the hell not?!”
“I love you too much to let you go.”
“You wouldn’t be letting me go! I’m not going anywhere! I’ll be right here, putting my life back together.”
He moved to me again, cutting me with his stare. It wasn’t cold anymore. It was determined, and a determined Aston spelled trouble.
“You want me to grow without you there. You want me to make something of myself without you there. I’m going to be successful one day, and I’m going to have a job and all the time in the world, and you’re not going to be there on that journey. It makes the experience worthless, Elise. If we stick by each other, defy those odds, and make a go of it, we’ll have journeyed through it all – the ups and the downs, the bad days and the good days. It’s better than being apart and coming together again when we’ve got our shit sorted out. I don’t want that. I want us to grow together and come out on the other side. Any time apart is time wasted.”
He made a compelling speech. But I was stubborn and determined too, and burdening him with my bullshit felt selfish.
“No,” I told him sharply. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Why?” he demanded, exhausted.
“Mom needs help around here –”
“Stop making excuses!” he suddenly shouted, nostrils flared, eyes narrowed. “Tell me why!”
My entire body started shaking uncontrollably. “She really does need my help –”
“Shut up about Mom, Elise. She’s with Adrian, alright? He told me about it.”
My eyes widened. “What? When did you –”
“He said it last night, and he’ll take care of her. He promised after I told him I wanted you out of here.”
I didn’t respond. He shook his head and paced the room, looking like he wanted to strangle me. He should join the club. I wanted to strangle myself too sometimes.
“You’re afraid,” he told me. “I know what you’re feeling because I’ve been trying to conquer it the last seven months. You know what I realized at the end? You never get over the fear, El, you just learn to live with it. You confront it every single day. You face the unknown, the possibility of loss, and you learn to endure. We can do everything we talked about. You can dance and find your path wherever you go, but I want to be there and watch it.” His voice broke as he stopped to look at me. His eyes were red with unshed tears. He was killing me with that stare. “We can do it as long as you believe it and want it. Think about it, El.”
He turned and left the room. Tuck was waiting on the other side, and he strode in and circled around me, nudging me with his head. I fell to the ground and welcomed him into my arms, all the while I stared out the bedroom door, conflicted and…yeah, scared.
27.
Elise
I showed up at the bookstore, and I was pretty sure I was late. There was a crowd of people inside already seated. I slipped through the door and immediately spotted Hayden in the far back of the room, a book open in his lap. There was an empty chair beside him, and I had a feeling it was for me.
I tiptoed inside the room as a lady that looked remarkably like Hayden stood before everyone, reading lines out of a book. When Hayden noticed me, his face broke out in a warm smile. I sat down next to him and he handed me a copy of a book. Of Mice and Men read the cover. He whispered what page to turn to and I hastily did so. We sat in silence as the lady carried on, finishing out the page and then discussing what it meant to her. After she sat down, someone else stood up and talked about their favourite scene. This was the most choreographed book club I’d ever been in.
“Everything alright?” Hayden whispered.
I nodded, but it couldn’t have been further from the truth. Aston’s words weighed on me, and I didn’t know what to do.
“You sure?” he pressed.
I blinked back tears. “I don’t know,” I finally admitted. “Everything is a mess right now.”
He didn’t respond after that. Instead, he turned back to the speakers, waiting patiently for everyone to be done. After that, the first lady started handing out pizza boxes and everyone dived in, chatting to one another.