“What does he look like?”
“Matt Bomer.”
She sucked in a breath. “Oh, my God. You said that about that doctor all those months ago.”
I gave her a strange look. “How do you even remember that?”
She tapped her head. “I catalogue all discussions of hot men in this brain of mine. I wish it was like that with math, but I can’t complain at the end of the day. Hot guys are way more important than finding out what the x is.”
I laughed and shook my head. “Unbelievable. Well, the doctor was the one. I saw him at the bus stop. He gave me his umbrella.”
“Oh,” she swooned, putting a hand over her heart, “he’s one of those guys?”
I bit my lip, fighting my blush. “It was probably nothing, but he called me beautiful.”
She nodded. “Shit. Be careful. He could be a crazy serial killer.”
“He’s hot.”
“Ted Bundy was hot.”
I laughed. “Well, he’s definitely not Ted Bundy. Again, he’s a doctor.”
“Doctors are the worst kind of serial killers. They tear you apart slowly. You should watch the crime channel more often.”
“You’re insane.”
She looked at me for a moment, studying my face. Her smile faded away and her brows slowly came together. Then she abruptly grabbed me by the arm and steered me to the back of the stairwell where we were alone.
Turning to me, she leaned forward and whispered, “I know about Aston, El. I’ve always known.”
My smile dropped. “At this point, everyone knows, Cindy.”
She shook her head. “They think he rejected you and you were in love with him, but…I know there was something going on between you both. Am I right?”
I nodded slowly. “Yeah, no use denying the obvious. How many other people know?”
“I don’t know.”
I looked at her wryly. “Come on, be honest. Who have you been talking to?”
Cindy frowned. “El, I don’t talk about you. I never have. I’m not that much of a fucking drama queen. I talk shit about people, sure, but not my friends. Well, not my closest friends. If I wanted the world to know that you and Aston had gotten it on, believe me, they’d know. It’s all rumours at this point.”
My lips pursed. “Why are we having this conversation?”
“Because…I don’t know if you should be thinking of another guy when you’re heartbroken.”
“I’m heartbroken because my dad is dead, remember?”
She rubbed my arm caringly. “There are different kinds of heartbreak. Yours reeks of Aston. I’m trying to be a good friend here, and you can tell me if I’m out of line, but…are you ready to move on?”
I rolled my eyes. “I was just flattered a hot guy paid me attention, Cin. I’m not looking to fall in love all over again. I also don’t want the doctor. He was caught up in his own shit, and I think he knew I needed the attention. I’m just grateful he gave it because…I liked it.”
She looked at me carefully. “Sooo…you’re up for a little fun?”
My heart said no but I nodded anyway. “Yes.”
Her smile spread slowly. “Good.”
“Thanks for the concern, though.”
“You’re the longest friend I’ve had who hasn’t bailed on me.”
“Believe me, there were moments.”
With that, we headed up the stairs just as the school bell rang. We parted ways and I made it to my grade 12 English class with a couple of minutes to spare. The door was still closed, and other students stood around, waiting for the late teacher (it wasn’t her first damn time). I rested my back against the wall and nibbled on my cupcake, which was pretty amazing. Cindy had some serious baking skills. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I checked my inbox, hoping for a message from either Mom or…Aston.
It was empty, and I bottled up my disappointment. I shouldn’t have expected anything. Without expectations there was no room for disappointment.
“Do you really need a cupcake?”
I looked up from my phone and at Michelle, a girl I no longer hanged out with since the ninth grade when she decided to fuck half the school and talk shit about girls, including me. She was a bottle blonde bitch in barely-there clothes standing next to her dim-witted clique who hid their smiles behind English textbooks they probably couldn’t read. I narrowed my eyes at her, wondering if I should bother. The anorexic little weed had just called me fat in a roundabout way.
Well, I was told I was beautiful this morning by a doctor whose opinions mattered more to me than this bitch, so I decided not to respond. I looked back down at my phone, pretending to read when I was really waiting for her stuck up face to fuck off. I heard her giggling to her friends, and them pushing her to “say it” over and over again. Giving into that peer pressure, he finally turned to me again and added, “Did your brother make you that cupcake after you fucked him?”