Obsessed(47)

“And you’re not understanding me, son. This is hard for me to hear. I’m goddamn shocked by it, but I don’t disapprove. I just know what I’m talking about. Your lives are completely different. Elise is…not as mature as you. She’s young in the head still and…oh, god, she is dramatic. You know what I’m talking about too. She’s all about fun in the moment. All about dancing and socializing. If you do something she disagrees with, she’s all drama and angst. She’s not ready to be on her own. She’s not even ready to know what she wants. She has no career in mind. She has no goals. She reacts emotionally over everything. Throwing a serious relationship into the mix? That’s like playing with fire.”

“What do you mean?”

“Can you imagine the devastation that would happen to our family if you and Elise broke up?”

“We won’t.”

“You don’t know that. She is not at your level. She’s too young.”

“We’re a year apart, Dad.”

“You are years ahead, Aston.”

I leaned back and crossed my arms. I was angry. “So what would you have me do?” I asked him angrily, jaw clenched.

“Wait for her to grow. Give her time.”

I didn’t respond. I wanted her. I wanted her so fucking badly, I ached to the bone. But at the same time, I hated how much sense he made. These next five years were going to be brutal. I had so much to learn, so many goals to reach. And the way I was when I poured myself in my work, the world faded into the background.

Elise would fade along with it.

Would she hate me if I neglected her? Should we wait until I was done and was able to give her my love and attention? Would she even wait that long?

“Your words are killing me, Dad,” I whispered to him. “This is misery for me.”

He went still, looking down at the table for a few moments. When he looked back at me, his eyes were rimmed red. “Aston, you’re a son to me. I brought you into our lives because I couldn’t live a day not knowing if you were going to be thrown into another hell. I had to have you. I had to protect you, and you blossomed with us. The happiest day of my life was when you turned to me and said, ‘can I call you my dad?’ Do you remember that? I was so proud. I would never want to deprive you of happiness. Can’t you see that’s what I’m trying to do?”

“By keeping me away from her, you think I’ll be happy?”

“By having her, do you think she’ll stay?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure? You wouldn’t rather wait until she has her own life sorted and then give it a real go?”

I ran a hand through my hair. My mind raced with solutions. Numbers…numbers couldn’t help me out, and logic…logic was working against me right now.

I shoved the plate forward. “This is bullshit,” I hissed, standing up.

I stormed out of the restaurant. This wasn’t how the day was supposed to go! He was meant to accept us and that was it. We were supposed to go home, break it to Mom, and get her acceptance, and then…

Then what?

I slammed open the entrance door and rested my head against the brick wall. I shut my eyes and tried to reason. She loved me. We wanted to be together. Why did it have to get complicated?

I heard the door open again and footsteps approached me.

“Aston,” he said. “Let’s go back in there and sort this out.”

“I don’t want to sort it out.”

“Aston, stop –”

“You don’t want us together. I wish you’d just say it!” I shouted.

“I don’t want you together.” His words were firm and resolute. They shocked me to the core.

I pushed off the wall and turned to him. “You want us unhappy.”

“I want you both to avoid pain. To wait, goddammit. Just…wait until your life is less hectic, until she’s less dramatic. Right now, all I see is obsession and no logic.”

“You’re wrong!”

“Maybe I am. Let’s keep talking it through first.”

“You don’t think I’m good enough for her. Is that it?” I was losing my shit, going hysterical now as all my insecurities raced to the surface. “You think I’m like my father. You think I’ll hurt her because there’s some monster inside of me too!”

“No!” he retorted fiercely. “You are nothing like him!”

“You’re a liar.”

“I would never lie about that.”

“You pity me every fucking day! I see it in your eyes. It’s condescending. You make me feel inferior when you look at me that way. You won’t move on from that part of my life.”