Obsessed(37)

“I don’t know what it is. Some nerdy thing he says he’s finally finished building.”

“It’s a robot.”

“Sure, just go to him. He’s excited to try it out.”

“Alright, let me just throw my shoes on.”

He shut the door again and tugged the covers off of me. I sat up, red faced and nervous. He didn’t look at me once as he grabbed his shoes and put them on. When he got up, he said quietly, “Wait five minutes. I’ll make sure she’s downstairs by then.”

Then he turned away and walked out.

Just like that.

No other words, glances…nothing. Like, shit, really?!

I was alone and still shaking. I waited the torturous five minutes in his bedroom, and then I slipped out and disappeared in mine. I collapsed in my bed, feeling very strange, almost foreign in my own skin. In the silence, I questioned what just happened, and why I felt guilty about it.

Was it wrong what he did? Kissing me? Rubbing me? Making me feel that good? I’d always wanted it, always dreamed of it, so why did I feel like this?

Deep inside, I knew what was going on. We had just crossed a line. We’d done something that would horrify our parents. My father was so close to Aston, how would he feel about him if he knew what we’d done?

We weren’t related by blood. We weren’t siblings from birth. We had always been best friends more than anything.

Were we really to blame?

I sighed and cuddled my pillow to my chest. I stared at the wall he knocked on when he needed me, and I felt panic at the thought of that knock never sounding out. I needed Aston, and he was going to move out in a matter of weeks. And after tonight…I couldn’t bear being away from him.

My future was uncertain. My wants unknown. My path uncarved.

Without him in it, I would drown in his absence.





13.



Elise

The next day was filled with unspoken words and glances. Eyes on eyes. Eyes on lips. Lips not yet on lips. I couldn’t concentrate at work, and Patrick wouldn’t stop talking to me. I shied away from his touches, didn’t return his smiles. I was sure I came off like a complete bitch, and I didn’t mean to, but I was no longer interested in distractions. All I kept imagining was last night and what Aston did to me. Oh, my God, it was amazing. Oh, my God, I wanted it again. I felt like a hussy in heat. I was strangely turned on, so much so, I ached.

We hadn’t even had sex. What would the real thing do to me?

By lunch time, Aston came around with his paintball attire on. He wasn’t part of the games and was only acting as referee, so he didn’t stink of sweat (not that I minded anyway). In fact, his man-scent was all the more pronounced as he leaned over the counter where I stood. Looking over my shoulder at Patrick (feet away with his back to us), he whispered, “Did you tell him?”

Oh, shit. “No,” I replied.

“Why not?”

“I forgot.”

His face darkened. “You want to come in my room again?”

Come in what way? “Yes.”

“Then un-forget and tell him.” He left right after that.

I stared ahead for some time, trying to formulate the right excuse. Should I tell Patrick I was busy? But then he might want to reschedule, and I didn’t want to reschedule. I wanted Aston to hump me to orgasm again and kiss me with his tongue.

Sighing, I turned around and stared at Patrick stacking the boxes of paintballs on the shelves.

“Hey, Patrick?” I said, nervously.

He stopped and turned around, flashing me a sweet, guilt-inducing smile. “Yeah?”

“About tonight…”

His body bobbed from foot to foot, like he needed to go to the bathroom, but really it was excitement. “I’m really looking forward to it. I have a nice place all planned out.”

Shit. “Well, see, I uh…I can’t make it after all.”

That smile slowly faded. “Serious?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I know why?”

“It’s just…not a good time for…dating.” Weak excuse, El. So weak.

He frowned. “I thought we liked each other. I mean, you’ve kind of been all over me. I thought it was in my head but Dad and the other guys…they said they saw the way you were around me and…” he trailed off, rubbing the back of his head with this confused look on his face.

“Well,” I paused, searching for a way to fix this, “you know Cindy thinks you’re cute.”

Fucking Cindy. Always my fall-back. She’d come around to laugh at me while I worked, so he knew her, and it wasn’t entirely a lie telling him she liked him. She thought every guy was cute. She’d be ecstatic if a guy like Patrick came around.