Obsessed(33)

He nodded slowly, surprised by my sudden change. “Right.”

“Good. Let’s just go back to normal. Let’s…” – I resisted cringing – “be a family.”

He swallowed hard. “You think that’s possible?”

“Sure,” I lied confidently, even though I wanted nothing more than to throw up. “Definitely.”

He still looked rigid. “So what do we do now?”

Good question. I looked down at my feet. “Um…I’m tired. I need to have an early night. We’ll hang out tomorrow or something, okay?”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” he replied softly, a hand gripping the doorframe. “I spoke to Fred and Cora and they’re fine with you working. We’ll be full-time when school’s out, but you’ll probably be getting paid less than the rest of us initially –”

“That’s cool,” I cut in, hardly hearing his words. I just wanted him gone because I was raw all over and I was worried I’d cry in front of him. “Thanks. I’ll get some shut eye early. What time do you need me up?”

“Seven. We have to prep early and I can show you the ropes.”

“No problem. I’ll see you at seven then.”

I waited for him to leave, but he continued standing there. I forced my eyes up at him for a fleeting moment and faked a smile on my face. He studied me solemnly, and then he sighed and nodded. “See you in the morning, El.”

After another fake smile and a muttered good bye, I closed the door. Then I slid down that door and cradled my knees to my chest.





12.



Elise

Initially, I thought the worst thing I could have done was work alongside Aston. However, once I was part of the team, I realized I didn’t have to interact with him often. He was working on the field and I was working at the storefront, renting out guns, filling up people’s air tanks (before they headed out to play), selling chocolates, sodas and boxes of paintball. It was laid back work in the afternoon, but hectic as hell mid-morning when players flooded in.

Thankfully, I didn’t have to know the lingo, or tend to technical matters. Fred and Cora’s son Patrick worked there too, and he was eighteen, a paintball fanatic, and my newest friend. He handled most interactions with players when they had a problem, and he also swatted away the younger guys that held up the lines trying to flirt with me.

While I was getting paid pitifully, it was a good distraction. I didn’t want to pluck my eyeballs out of my face to stop from crying. Eeyore’s spirit didn’t possess my body, Adele music didn’t play in the background, and my mind wasn’t forced to recall that bitter rejection at the lake. I was too busy chatting to Patrick to pay attention to Aston as he came and went, his eyes glued to me whenever he was around. It seemed like since we mended things, he’d become too attentive and mindful of my company, meanwhile I was doing whatever I could not to stare at him. I just couldn’t do it. Pretending to be normal was hard work.

Instead, I took refuge in my friendship with Patrick. I liked how interested he was in me. It was nice being the one chased for once, and he was all over me. The flirting, the light touches on my shoulder and back, and the smiles with hidden meanings behind them. It was…new for me. Something…different.

I needed to move on. I had to for my own sanity. Out of force, I started to like Patrick. Not in the way I cared for Aston, but in that way that made the heart pinch just slightly in my chest. I liked this pinching feeling better. It made me feel like I was the one in control. He couldn’t hurt me if I didn’t let him in far.

Patrick was easy to be around, and he was funny. Plus he was very nice to look at. It was the perfect combination of boy that kept me from breaking apart. So I flirted back, returned the soft touches, until one weekend afternoon right before I got off work, he asked me out to the movies. I said yes without even blinking.

It was a victory. I’d sit and watch a movie with Patrick. I’d…let him hold my hand. I’d…let him kiss me. Maybe. Perhaps on the cheek at first, and…I don’t know, maybe the mouth, but…No, it’d be the cheek at first. Yes, not the mouth because…that would erase Aston’s touch and…No, it would be good to erase Aston’s touch.

That evening, sitting around the table finishing up dinner, I told Dad, “Patrick wants to take me to the movies tomorrow night.”

Dad paused from his bite and just stared at me for several long moments. I was asking for permission like he’d asked me to do before, but I was seventeen and hadn’t even gone on a date. I wondered if he thought I would never ask, and he probably loved that.