Obsessed(11)

“He…he touched me,” she whimpered out.

I knew damn well what anger was. I’d felt it throughout my life, locked away in a room while every foster parent I’d ever had decided to neglect me or beat me. I’d clawed at my face numerous times in my loneliness, trying to feel pain instead of anger. It was anger over not understanding what I did to deserve the life I had. I’d been surrounded by so much violence before the Wright family took me in; it was inevitable that a part of it had found its way inside of me.

For the first time since being here that was what I felt in that shower stall, looking at a girl I was obsessed with crying. I felt violent. As violent as every monster in my past. I wanted to punch the wall with my fist just to feel my knuckles break. This anger was alive, a separate entity consuming me; it was unlike anything I’d ever experienced.

I kept my face passive so she wouldn’t see it. I’d scare her otherwise. Fucking hell, I was scaring myself just feeling it.

“Who touched you?” I demanded softly.

She looked away from me. “D…Deck.”

My blood turned to lava. “What did he do?”

More tears streamed down her face. “I don’t know if I deserved it. Maybe I sent him the wrong signals –”

“What did he do?” I repeated, calmly.

“We were dancing, and not in any seductive way or anything, but…it was fun, you know?”

I nodded. “I know.”

“He…he said he wanted to grab another CD from his room because I’d complained about the songs replaying.”

Rage. Rage. “You were at his house?”

“He was throwing a party.”

“What happened next?”

She tightened the towel around her, looking ashamed as she said, “I followed him there because I felt a little responsible for making him change the music. He told me he’d show me a few CDs and I’d get to choose. He took me there and…I feel so fucking stupid, Aston. I’m so stupid.”

“Tell me, El.”

“He handed me a whole bunch of CDs, and as I started going through them, he started to rub my back. I moved away from him, but he kept coming closer. I could smell the alcohol on his breath, he was that close. Just to get rid of him, I picked a random CD and gave it to him. He took it and threw it on the dresser, and then he…he tried to kiss me, but I didn’t want it. He got a little angry and pushy. He…he shoved me on the bed and climbed over me, and then he pinned me under him and tried to kiss me again, promising I’d enjoy it. I stopped fighting so he’d stop being so pushy, and his…hands went everywhere. They went everywhere! Between my legs – everywhere! I felt so sick, like I wanted to throw up, and…I knew I couldn’t just go along with it. So…as he started to kiss my neck, I ran my hand down his head and when I got to his face I clawed at it and kicked him in the balls. He was so shocked. He got off me, screaming about what a tease I was, and everyone heard him, Aston. The guys laughed at me when I ran out of there, and Cindy swore at them, and the girls…the girls were the worst, pointing at me and calling me a tease.”

I didn’t speak for a few moments. My entire fucking body was trembling, though. My vision even spotted at the rage building inside of me.

“It’s my fault, isn’t it?” she asked me, sniffing as she looked at me. “You’re not saying anything because it’s my fault. I was probably asking for it.”

My hands gripped her face, and I leaned closer, until I was inches away. Looking at her in the eyes, I gritted out, “Don’t. Don’t you fucking dare blame yourself. None of this was your fault.”

“But I followed him to his room –”

“That doesn’t mean shit, El. You didn’t want it. The second you pushed him away, he should have stopped. He would have done a hell of a lot more to you if you didn’t get him off you.”

She eyed me closely. “Do…Do you hate me?”

I let out a shocked breath. “Hate you? How the fuck could I ever hate you, Elise? I hate myself for not being there.”

“You didn’t know. I…I didn’t want to drag you there –”

“You take me to every party from now on. I want to be there. Do you hear?”

She nodded.

“Did he hurt you?”

She didn’t respond, and that only made the rage inside tick.

“Did he hurt you, Elise?” I demanded a little harsher than I intended.

She reluctantly opened the towel and showed me her wrists. “He gripped my wrists really hard.”

I took them into my hands and studied them. Sure enough, there were red marks along her left wrist, like he’d squeezed it. Again, I fought the anger from showing on my face. I swallowed it all down, but I couldn’t stop the quakes running through my body.