His arms come around me, and I pound against his chest with the back of my fist as tears stream down my cheeks.
“Shhhhh,” he hushes me, forcing me closer to his body, where my fists wrap into his shirt and I bury my face in his chest to cry harder. “It will be okay.” He rubs my back as my legs give out under me. He catches me before I fall to the floor, picks me up, and carries me to bed, laying me back down. “Do you want me to stay with you?” he asks, pulling the covers back over my shoulder.
“No. I just want to be alone,” I breathe through my tears and attempt to pull myself together.
“I don’t mind,” he whispers.
I look at him and shake my head.
He nods, looking around and then back down at me. I can tell he wants to say something else, but instead, he kisses my forehead and stands. I hear the door close, but my eyes stay locked on the sky I can see out the window.
Myla, this is stupid. You weren’t even in love with him. Stop acting like a lovesick fool, I lie to myself then bury my face in my pillow and cry harder.
Chapter 7
Limbo
“Now what are you baking?”
I look at the open kitchen doorway and narrow my eyes at Aye. “Nothing for you, and don’t even think about coming in here.” I wave the spoon at him, trying to sound firm. It never fails that he shows up when I’m in the middle of baking.
“You’re really going to do that to Daddy?” he asks, and I can’t help but smile at him.
“Fine. You can have one, but first, you have to promise you will take me somewhere.”
“I’ll take you,” Pika says, joining us.
“You don’t have to do that,” I reply softly, watching as he comes over, dips his finger into the bowl of cookie dough, and swipes some off the edge before licking it off his finger.
“You know I don’t mind.” His eyes go soft, making me shift uncomfortably.
Since Kai left, Pika and Aye have constantly been at my side. I would honestly be lost without either of them, but over the last week, I have started seeing a change in the way Pika looks at me.
“I’ll take her,” Aye says, saving me.
“Thanks,” I tell him, going back to placing some more dough in balls on the cookie sheet while ignoring the heat I feel coming of Pika, who is standing too close to me.
“Where are you guys going?” he asks after a moment.
I look over my shoulder at him and debate how to answer. “I have yet to receive divorce papers from Kai’s lawyer, and you guys won’t tell me anything, so I’m going to talk to a lawyer.”
“Myla,” Aye says.
I quickly swing my head towards him. “No.” I shake my head. “I know you’re his friend, and I totally get that this puts you guys in an awkward situation, but I have to do this. I will not be in limbo.”
“I’ll take you if Aye refuses,” Pika says.
I look at him again then jerk my head up and down once.
“Pika.” Aye throws his arms up in the air.
“I’m taking her,” Pika replies evenly.
“Fuck this!” Aye shouts and leaves the kitchen.
“Come find me when you’re ready,” Pika rumbles.
I nod and let out a long breath as I listen to Pika and Aye fight somewhere in the house. I hate that I’m causing a rift between them, but I can’t do this anymore. I moved out of Kai’s room the day he left and haven’t been back in there since then. I couldn’t wake up in his bed again, with his smell surrounding me.
I hate that, every time I think about Kai, I still feel the pain in my chest that I felt when I read his note the first time. I hate that he did what he did, yet I can’t bring myself to hate him. I didn’t realize until it was too late that Kai had gotten under my skin. He came into my life, made me believe I was going to be given something beautiful, and then took it away from me without any warning.
I look down at the bowl of cookie dough and my eyes catch on the ring I haven’t had the courage to take off. I let out a ragged breath and know exactly what I need to do. I just need to be strong enough to do it.
Kai
I look out over the water for a moment and then turn my head back to face my computer. My eyes land on the picture that is now the screensaver on my personal laptop.
It’s one of the photos taken the night of the party my mother threw for us. Myla was at my side, the front of her body plastered against me. My hand was on the top of her ass, her head was tilted back, and she was smiling up at me, with my face tilted down looking at her. You can’t see it in the picture because of how the photo was taken, but I remember looking into her eyes, not understanding the look of wonder I saw there.