Obligation(19)

“I want to do it.” I swallow thickly.

When I told Kai what my plan for our first date was, his face lit up and he looked like I had given him some kind of gift. He told me that shark diving is one of his favorite things to do, next to surfing. He said that he doesn’t get to go often but his friend would be willing to take us out on his boat. I can’t believe how fast everything happened. It felt like all I had done was snapped my fingers, and then I was on a boat, wearing a wetsuit.

“Do you remember what to do once we’re in the cage?” he asks.

I nod again, my voice seeming to be lost. Luckily for me, I took diving lessons a couple of years ago, and when Kai and his friend went over everything with me and asked me questions, I still knew all the right answers and what to do in case of an emergency.

“All right. Let’s get the rest of your gear on, makamae.”

He takes my hand and leads me to the ledge, where I don the breathing mask and the rest of my gear. After Kai gets me ready and has checked me over at least three times, he quickly puts on his own, gives a thumbs-up, and then signals me to place the breathing apparatus in my mouth. I do and immediately feel the flow of air that will allow me to breathe underwater.

As soon as I’m set, Kai pulls me over to the side of the boat, where a set of stairs leads into the water and down into the cage. He goes ahead of me and waits at the bottom of the steps for me to follow him down. When I reach the step that has half my body in the water, I become fully aware he is there, his body caging me in. His hand gives my waist a squeeze of reassurance before he submerges himself fully into the water.

I follow him under and am instantly stunned by the serenity. The ocean is so blue from above, and the water is so clear from below that I swear I can see for miles. The silence is like nothing I have ever known. The only sound I can hear is the noise coming from my own concentrated breathing.

I spin around slowly and come faceto-face with Kai, who points to his eyes then up to the top of the water. Suddenly, the water turns red and there are specks of white, which I know are fish particles filling the area surrounding us. Even though I know what’s coming, I’m still in awe when small fish swim near the cage and begin to eat up the smaller pieces of chum.

As I watch them, I realize they are almost moving in slow motion up until the moment their mouths open, and then they move suddenly, snatching up the food they were after. I don’t know how long it takes—it could have been minutes or maybe even hours—but Kai taps me on my shoulder. When I look over at him, he’s pointing to the far end of the cage, where there is a large, black mass heading towards us. I grab Kai’s hand and try to keep my breathing even as the fuzzy image clears up and the black mass becomes a large shark. I know right away that it’s a tiger shark, one of the deadliest animals on Earth.

I grab Kai’s hand tighter as the shark swims around the cage a couple of times. The moment seems almost suspended in time, but before I have even really had a second to appreciate the beauty of the magnificent creature in front of me, he’s gone. We float around the cage for a few more minutes, but when Kai taps his wrist, I know that it’s time to head up.

Once we reach the surface, Kai’s friend helps me onto the boat and begins getting my gear off me. When my mask is off, I take a deep breath of the salty ocean air and look around for Kai. When our gazes connect, I try to convey with my eyes how much this moment means to me. It’s not every day you get to live out one of your childhood dreams, and I couldn’t be more thankful that he is the one who gave this to me.

I finish getting everything off and put away while trying to understand the feeling I have in my chest. It’s not until Kai comes over and drags me from where I was sitting to a large couch at the back of the boat when I realize what it is: Happiness.

I have always considered myself a happy person, but I didn’t know that, deep down, I really wasn’t, and since the moment I arrived in Hawaii, I have been truly happy. I miss my shop and my girls, but to me, I was just getting by before. And now that my life has evolved, I’ve been forced to do something I never would have done before, and I’ve left what I’d thought of as the security of my home, I’m finally, really, and truly happy. With that thought, I curl into Kai’s side, lay my head on his chest, and drift off to sleep with the smell of the ocean and the rocking of the boat lulling me into dreamland.

*

I wake up and attempt to roll over, only to find myself tethered to the bed by an arm over my waist and muscular, hairy legs tangled with mine. And then I remember that my parents are in Hawaii, sleeping a few doors down from our room.