‘We have to win by then,’ said Joe. ‘The chances will be wild, otherwise.’
‘Winners so far, both the full-cast and the half-cast. I’ve managed to break in a little further, by feeding back the blurbjuice equations and infecting the domino walls with the Chef’s Special Recipe fractal.’
‘Thanks to me,’ said Jazir.
‘Basically, I’ve got them eating their own defences.’
‘I discovered that.’
‘Joe. Can you shut this kid up. I’m trying to work here.’
‘I discovered the way in, Joe. Remember?’
‘Jazir discovered it,’ Joe stated, ‘Dopejack furthered it. That’s good, my children, we are working together. Carry on, DJ.’
‘Thank you. I’ve managed to peel a layer off the winner’s list, revealing their addresses.’
‘Oh wow. Their addresses.’ This from Jazir, of course. ‘Let’s go round and steal their money.’
‘Jazir! I can always make you leave.’
‘You couldn’t do that, Joe. Who would get you closer when Dopey’s exhausted himself?’
‘Right! That’s it. I’m going.’ Dopejack was up already.
‘Let me see that,’ said Daisy, her first words of the meeting. ‘The winner’s list. I might know something.’
‘Like what?’ asked Dopejack.
‘That stopped him!’
‘Jazir!’
‘Sorry, boss.’
‘Have this week’s winners come through yet, DJ?’ Daisy asked.
‘Just in. And one million lovelies going to… a Mrs Annie Makepiece. Now look, the beauty of my new program; even though she’s asked for no publicity, we still get her address. See? It’s in Didsbury. Jazir might not be that stupid after all. We could go round and—’
But Daisy was too urgent. ‘Give me the half-winners, please.’
‘Got them.’
‘Is there an Irwell in there?’
‘Let’s see. Would that be Edward Irwell? He’s won a half-blank.’
‘That’s it! That’s the one!’
‘What do you know, Daisy?’ asked Jaz.
‘Nothing yet. Let me think. Is there an address.’
‘Actually… there isn’t… I…’
Jazir laughed. ‘Some program.’
‘There’s just some letters after his name. NFA.’
‘NFA? What’s that?’ asked Jazir.
‘It’s No Fixed Abode,’ said Joe.
‘He’s a beggar?’ asked Daisy.
‘That he is,’ said Dopejack. ‘It shouldn’t be allowed, beggars playing the game – bloody hell! He’s won three half-casts as of tonight.’
‘I knew it!’ said Daisy. ‘I know this man. No. Let me think!’
Of course, Eddie Irwell! That name the beggar girl Celia had shouted in the bookshop, as the tramps surrounded the cash desk…
‘I’ve got it!’ Daisy shouted. Even Jazir was taken aback by her excitement. Only Joe kept his cool.
‘What have you got?’ he asked. ‘Let me check one thing first. DJ?’
‘At your service.’
‘When did Irwell win his second half-bone?’
‘One second. Here it is. Game forty-two. Two weeks ago.’
‘And did he claim the prize? Can you find that?’
‘The Dopejack can find a—’
‘Get to it!’ said Jazir. ‘Give the lady what she wants.’
‘Let me see. No, he didn’t claim it. I wonder why?’
‘Because I had it,’ said Daisy. ‘Remember, Joe? The bone I brought to the club that Saturday?’
‘That was Eddie’s?’ asked Joe.
‘No. It belonged to a girl called Celia. Celia… wait, I asked for her name. Hobart! Celia Hobart. A beggar as well. This Eddie Irwell must be buying the bones for her. She’s the natural. Not Eddie.’
‘Do you think you could find her?’
‘She’s NFA, Joe,’ said Benny.
‘I can try,’ said Daisy.
Play to win
‘Can’t you ever stop winning, Celia?’ shouted Big Eddie, smiling his heart out.
‘I don’t think so,’ replied Celia.
The two of them were dancing round in circles. Celia threw the half-alive bone to Eddie, laughing. Eddie threw it back.
‘Look at it, Cee!’
‘I’m looking.’
‘See that lovely blank still all aglow. Isn’t it lovely?’
‘It’s lovely. But this time, Eddie…’
‘What, what, what?’ He had the bone now, waltzing with it.
‘Sixty/forty, right?’
‘Don’t spoil the mood, little one.’
‘Just don’t mess up this time.’