Nowhere to Hide(88)

Lia had gathered her knees up toward her body, her arms around them, blending with the beauty around them. She was utterly relaxed, and although he’d seen her relax little by little with him, she had reached a whole new level of relaxation today.

“Here,” he urged, sliding away from her and patting his thigh, “come and lie down. If you use my leg as a pillow, you can just drift off.” She nodded and lay down on her back, her head resting against his thigh, her eyes half closed.

“You’re spoiling me rotten, Cav. You know that, don’t you?” She closed her eyes, their long, thick lashes sweeping down across her cheeks. Longing hit him hard as she entrusted herself utterly to him, her hands clasped over her stomach. And then, miraculously, she fell asleep.

Cav absorbed the moment like a man who had been without water all his life. The play of breeze ruffled Lia’s hair, the sunlight emphasizing the purity of her skin and how relaxed it had become as she slept. What would it be like to sleep with this woman in his arms every night? To awaken and see her just like this beside him?

Cav was building many new dreams—new because in all his life, he’d never entertained any of these thoughts. He’d come from a dysfunctional family where any feelings of love had been destroyed when he was still a child. Now, for the first time, he could understand how love could take such deep roots in a person’s heart.

Lia gave him the time and space to see his life differently. Better. More hopeful. And she had become his hope and healer, whether she knew it or not.

Cav gazed down at Lia, and realized that on some level, Lia knew he was with her. She knew she was safe and protected with him. Cav always wanted her to feel like that with him. He would never use his strength against her. He would always use it to hold her safe, give her a world of peace and joy. With him.

He watched the breeze play among the maples, elms and oaks crowding the summit where they sat. Light and dark shadows danced as shafts of sunlight wove down through the branches. So much of his early life had been in total darkness. The SEALs had given him a way out, a way toward the light.

As he gazed at Lia’s serene features, he realized on a profound soul level that she was his light and his life. She would help him get out of his self-imposed prison. Lia might have physical scars that revealed she’d spent time in her own personal prison, but he had just as many, if not more, handed down to him from the moment he’d been born.

As he sat on that precipice with Lia sleeping peacefully, Cav realized they’d taken another important step together. Gratitude flooded through him because he had never believed he was worthy of such happiness. All his life, his father had told him he was worthless, that he was no good, that he was a loser. Cav had actually believed it, until he’d gotten into the SEALs.

Those men had become a far better family for him to grow into, develop with, and realize he wasn’t a worthless piece of shit, as his old man had told him over and over again. His “Sea Daddy,” Chief Jacoby, had wisely guided Cav through his late teens and early twenties. He made Cav aspire to go beyond his limits, and had been responsible for Cav getting his BA from Cal Poly.

By doing so, his mentor and surrogate father had prepared him for a life beyond being a SEAL. Jacoby had told him that one day, he’d be too old and beaten up to continue at the breakneck pace the team required. One day, Cav would return to civilian life, and when he did, Jacoby said, he would need a career that he could step into, make money, and never look back.

Jacoby had pounded into his head that someday Cav would find the right woman, one he’d want to settle down with and start a family.

Cav had retorted that he’d never get married and have a family—not after having barely survived the one he’d left behind. It was then that Jacoby began inviting him to meet his wife, Rebecca, and their two boys, Sean and Paddy. Every time Jacoby could get him to his house, he did, and soon Cav began to see the difference.

In his own way, his Sea Daddy was showing, not telling, what a real, loving family consisted of. Jacoby was a tough old salt in the SEALs and he didn’t take shit from anyone. Everyone respected him officers and enlisted alike. And he’d shown Cav that getting married, finding the right woman, and having a family was a dream that could come true.

Family was a positive thing, not a negative one. It didn’t have to be dark and toxic. It could actually be light and joyful. Gazing at Lia, Cav cupped her cheek, leaned over, and pressed a light kiss on her smooth brow. He wanted this woman forever.

Jacoby had given him his hope back. And now, Cav was going to throw his entire heart and soul in pursuit of Lia, hoping that she wanted the very same things he wanted with her.