“I will tell you. Sometime. I mean it, but—”
“Now isn’t the time. I’m okay, Jay. He didn’t come anywhere near me. I’m just afraid for Em.”
“You’re a good friend. She’s lucky to have you. We both are. Thank you for calling me.” Jay folded his hand over her shoulder and felt the way she still trembled.
“I wanted to call the police. Em told me not to.”
“Let me handle this, Ash. I’ll take care of her. I’ll take care of all of this. You don’t have to worry. You’ll never see him again. I promise you.”
Ash sniffled back her tears and nodded again. “I’m exhausted. I’m gonna go to bed. If she needs anything . . .”
“I’ll let you know.”
“Take care of her, Jay. She needs you more than you know.” With that, Ashlyn slipped across the hall into her own room and shut the door.
How anyone could possibly need him after the crap he’d put them through tonight, Jay couldn’t understand.
Em was sitting on the bed when he returned to her room. She’d wiped the tears from her face, but kept her arms wrapped protectively around her middle. Jay shut the door and leaned back against it, studying her.
“He really didn’t hurt you?”
“No. He just . . . scared me.”
Jay sighed, taking a few steps closer. The need to have her in his arms was intense and overwhelming, but it had always been that way with her. When she didn’t retreat, he closed the distance between them and sat beside her on the mattress.
Dropping his elbows to his knees, he planted his face in his hands as relief cracked through the shell of terror that had been holding him together up until that point. Em was so strong. Ashlyn was so strong. He didn’t want her seeing how weak he really was.
“I thought . . .” He couldn’t hide the weakness in his voice, though. “When Ashlyn called and said he was here . . . I think I died a thousand times on my way over.”
A small hand glided up his back, unintentionally reminding him of all the horrific things that monster could have done to her. A sob caught in the back of his throat, but his body shuddered with the force of holding it in.
Em’s hand cupped his shoulder and her face nuzzled against the other. “I’m okay.” Her warm breath coated his raw nerve endings, reminding him she was alive. And right there. Close enough to touch. Close enough to . . .
Lifting his face, he looked right into hers. “I need to hold you. I know it’s confusing and not fair of me to ask, but . . . can I stay? Just for tonight? Can I hold you? Just tonight. Please?”
Em agreed without hesitation, throwing back the blankets for both of them to crawl underneath. Jay laid on his back with Em tucked close to his side. Her head rested on his chest and his arms wrapped tightly around her. He felt like he could finally breathe again. He never wanted to let go of that feeling.
“I love you, so much.”
“I love you, too.” Her voice was small and tired.
“Close your eyes. I’m not going anywhere. Get some rest, baby.”
He felt her breathing even out in a matter of minutes and marveled at the fact that his presence could calm her enough to sleep after what she’d just been through. He’d failed to protect her, yet again, tonight and still, she trusted him with her safety. How could anyone have that kind of faith in him?
Jay held his heart in his arms all night, never once letting her go, and cursed fate for every awful thing she’d had to endure. When would it be enough? He’d done everything he could think of, given up everything he had—including the one thing he loved more than anything else in the godforsaken world: her—and still it wasn’t enough. What the hell else did this life want from him? He had nothing left to give.
Chapter Thirty
Em
The room was filled with soft morning light when Em woke. Lying perfectly still, she watched dust particles float past the window. Her aunt had once told her that they were tiny fairies dancing on rays of sunlight. She missed those times. Back when the scariest monsters lived under her bed, or in her closet. Back when she was blissfully unaware of the horrible things human beings were capable of. Back when the world was a less terrifying place.
Slowly, the events from the night before unfolded as she registered the warm body pressed against her back and the heavy arm slung over her waist. Part of her was so happy to have him there she nearly broke down in tears. The other part was so angry she almost did the same.
The comforting obscurity of darkness had been burned away by the harsh light of day, bringing with it the return of reality. She’d once again allowed herself to become the damsel in distress. And her first instinct was to call for Jay. How could she ever expect him to believe she was capable of helping him when he was always the one coming to her rescue?