Jay knew he’d won when Em buried her face in his shoulder and he held her close as her entire body shook with the force of her sobs, but at what cost?
Chapter Twenty-six
Em
She had no warning. One minute they were talking—tearing her world apart one word at a time—and the next, they were kissing. Jay’s mouth crashed over hers, moving with such ferocity that it stole her breath away and every thought in her head—all of her fears and arguments—just evaporated. How could she not give him what he needed? She couldn’t. She couldn’t deny him anything. Even at the expense of her heart.
Jay’s hand slid up her spine, tangling in her hair at the back of her head. With a gentle tug, he positioned her to take the kiss deeper. His tongue actively explored her mouth as though he’d forgotten the lay of the land and was starving to reacquaint himself. Drinking her in. Devouring her. She gave it to him. Everything. All of her. Surrendering to him completely.
Doing even a fraction of that with Mason scared the ever living daylights out of her. But here she was with Jay, fearing nothing more than that it would end. That had to mean something. He had to see that that meant something. It meant everything.
But it didn’t matter. This wasn’t about her anymore. This was about Jay and his skeletons. The ones he was trying to beat back into the closet. And he didn’t want her to be a part of that battle.
At least she managed to convince him to take some of the cash she had on her before she left. It wasn’t much and, in the end, he’d only caved when she promised to stay away from the house for a while—away from him. Even then, she could only get him to take half, but she knew what to do with the rest of it.
Em had barely pulled out of the drive when she whipped out her fancy new cell phone. It took a little hunting, limited by the time she spent stopped at red lights, but eventually she found the number to the heating company. And, by the time she parked at the curb next to Ashlyn’s house, she had a guarantee the heat would be back on no later than the next day.
“How did it go?” Ashlyn poked her head out of the kitchen as Em shut the door behind her.
Em tossed her the keys with a shake of her head.
“That good, huh?”
“Yeah. I’m gonna go lie down for a while.” She could feel Ash’s eyes burning holes in her back all the way down the hall, but she didn’t say anything more.
Collapsing on the bed, she curled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them in a protective ball. Em wanted to be strong for Jay. Show him that she was strong enough to be what he needed. But what had she done? Run? Hidden? All that made her feel was weak. She wanted to do the right thing, but, not for the first time in her life, Em didn’t know what that was.
***
He stood before her. Jay. In all his shirtless glory. For a moment she wondered why he wasn’t wearing a shirt, if he was cold. But she didn’t feel cold. She didn’t feel much besides the heat pooling in her belly as her gaze traveled hungrily over his solid abs, sharp hips, wide shoulders. Up, up, up to his face. Strong jaw, soft, barely parted lips, slightly crooked nose. She drank in the sight of him, memorizing each feature as though it might be the last time she’d lay eyes on them. Everything was perfect . . . until she reached his eyes.
They were dark, darker than she could ever remember seeing them. And cold. Dead cold. Gazing off into the distance, he looked lost. Not inside his own thoughts. Just lost. Gone.
“Jay?” He didn’t respond. Not a single muscle twitched as she ran her hands up his hard chest, over his pale skin. That too was cold. “Baby?”
Without a word, he turned and strode away from her.
“Jay!” Desperate to follow him, Em became aware for the first time that she was unable to move, trapped behind an invisible wall that separated them. Kept her from him. “Jay, wait!”
Harsh, rugged scars shone nearly iridescent on his skin in the fading light. Pounding against the glass wall, Em watched helplessly as one by one they split open, spilling crimson red blood down his retreating back.
“Jay! Please, Jay! Come back!”
The darkness that lay ahead of him seemed to open its gaping jaws and swallow Jay whole as she watched. Snuffing him from her vision. Her life.
“No!” Slamming her stinging palms against the barrier, Em sank to her knees. “Jay! Jay! Jay.”
Em woke soaked in sweat, gasping for air with his name still on her lips. Rolling away from the damp, suffocating pillowcase, she blinked the room into focus. The sun pouring through the sheer curtains was bright. Too bright for having to be at Bart’s for the opening shift. She twisted her head toward the clock on the nightstand and her eyes nearly popped out of the sockets. Ten-forty? Holy crap, her shift was more than half over.