That word struck him hard. He hated it. Hated that she believed it. Dammit all to hell. He was working his ass off, doing his best, and still he couldn’t protect her from this pain. The anguish tearing her apart, bringing back all of that destructive crap she’d been hand fed and believed about herself for so long.
Cupping Em’s face, Jay gently lifted it until she looked at him. He got lost staring into her tear rimmed eyes, wishing he could absorb all of the anger and fear and hurt churning in them. “You are strong. And brave. And beautiful. You are not, nor have you ever been, a coward. The son of a bitch who did this to you, to her, is the coward. And the asshole who left it in your mailbox is the coward. Not you. Never you.”
Em sniffled back the last of her tears as she gazed up at him. “You know, don’t you? Who left this?”
“I’ll take care of it.”
“Who was it? What’s going on, Jay?”
“Don’t worry about it, baby. I will take care of this. If anything else shows up at the house for you, anyone . . . Call me. Right away. Okay?”
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing. It’s okay.”
“I’m scared, Jay.” The cracked plastic seat creaked as she scooted closer until their bodies were pressed together.
“Don’t be. I’ll never let anything happen to you. Just promise me you’ll call.”
Defiance burned in her eyes with the desire to argue, to demand answers, but grief and exhaustion overwhelmed it and she shut them down, burying her face in his chest once again. “I promise.”
Jay sat there holding her for he didn’t know how long. Screw Bart, and Mindy, and work. He was right where he needed to be. He was beginning to think she’d fallen asleep, when she stirred.
“I’m sorry.” Em brushed her hair from her face, rubbing at her tear stained cheeks. “I didn’t mean to—”
“Don’t be. Never be sorry for coming to me when you need me, Em. I’ll always be here for you. No matter what.”
“I know.” She nodded, but wouldn’t meet his gaze and Jay had to wonder if she truly believed that. “You should get back to work before you get fired.”
She was probably right, though it was the last thing he wanted to do.
“Are you okay?” Em looked at him out of the corner of her eye and Jay frowned. “No. You’re not.”
“No.” She didn’t even bother trying to lie about it.
“What can I do?”
“Nothing.” The cold hard truth stung like a slap to the face. “There’s nothing to do. I’ll get over it.”
That was a lie. She’d never get over this. Jay knew that deep down a part of her would carry the guilt forever. But there was something he could do and, God help him, he would do it. No matter what it took.
***
After dropping Em off at Ashlyn’s, Jay stood in the bathroom at Bart’s, turning the paper over and over in his hands. He didn’t want to, he really didn’t, but he couldn’t stop himself. He read it. There wasn’t much. A few details about her uncle—no mention of Em—some statistics on pedophiles, and a short recounting of the report filed by the victim. It was Tori’s story, but as Jay read it all he could see was Em suffering the same atrocities. It made him sick. And sad. And pissed him the hell off. Balling up the sheet of paper, he hurled it into the trashcan, wishing there was a fireplace, so he could watch it burn.
He plowed through the remainder of his shift with a single minded focus. The minute he got home, he headed straight for the phone. Jay gritted his teeth, staring down at the deceptively innocent looking thing, and then forced himself to input the familiar number.
“Hello?”
“Leave her alone.”
“Julian. How nice to hear from you. I assume Em received my . . . gift?”
“Leave Em alone, you bastard!”
“Or what?”
“Go near her again and I swear—”
“What, Julian? What will you do about it?”
Rip him apart. Beat him until he was as bruised and broken on the outside as he’d made her on the inside. Tear his friggin’ head off. Break every bone in his goddamn body. End him. There was a lengthy pause where Jay strained to put the thoughts racing through his head into words, but found himself too weak to do it.
“Did you know about her parents? They died in horrible accident. There are some pretty graphic pictures if you know where to—”
“Please.” The pain he felt pouring off of her small body as it shook in his arms flowed through him, bringing him to his knees. “Please, I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll get the money. Just . . . please leave her alone.”