The selfish desires of his heart surrendered to a far deeper fear, and Jay knew what he had to do to keep her safe.
Chapter Sixteen
Em
“Get dressed.” A pair of jeans landed on Em’s head and she groaned into her pillow.
“What?”
“Get dressed. You’re going to work.”
“I was going to call Bart. I’m still not feeling—”
“Bullshit. You’re hiding from Jay.”
“Ash . . .” Em threw back the blankets and tossed the jeans on the floor to glare at her friend.
“You both need to get your heads out of you asses and have a damn conversation. This hide-and-seek crap is getting a little ridiculous.” The girl was not one to sugar coat things.
“Hide and seek only works if one of us is actually seeking.”
“Glad you figured that out, Einstein. Now get dressed. We’re going seeking.”
***
Em’s eyes darted over the schedule and she sighed with relief to see Jay wasn’t supposed to come in until the end of her shift. If things didn’t go well . . . She really couldn’t afford to bail on work again. Not even Bart liked her that much.
The relief was short lived, however. It didn’t take her long to realize waiting was its own brand of torture. A half-shift never lasted so long.
An eternity—disguising itself as four hours—later, Ashlyn nudged Em’s shoulder, sending tiny white granules scattering across the counter from the salt shaker she was trying to refill. The tremors that erupted in Em’s hands turned the salty flurry into a blizzard.
“Go. Talk to him. I’ll finish up here and meet you outside.” Ash swooped into relieve her of her duties and she finally peeked in Jay’s direction. He stood beside the coat rack just inside the door. And he was staring at her.
It took another nudge—more like a friendly shove—to get Em’s feet to cooperate. Tunnel vision set in as she made her way across the scuffed wood flooring, until all she could see was Jay watching her come, an unreadable expression on his face.
On legs flimsier than wet noodles, she covered the space between them at a snail’s pace until she ran out of room to stall and found herself standing right in front of him. His familiar scent overwhelmed her senses with each breath. It had only been a few days, but she missed him so badly it hurt.
Staring straight ahead, the navy shirt stretched tight over his hard chest filled her vision. Unbidden, memories of every time she’d seen what lay beneath, run her fingers over the lean muscles, laid her head against them and listened to his steady heartbeat flashed through her mind like a dying man’s last glimpse of life.
Em had thought she’d given herself time. Prepared for this. Was ready. But that was crap. She would never be ready to lose him. Please, don’t let this be the end.
Her hands itched to reach out and touch him even then. Clasping them tightly in front of her, Em forced her gaze upward. Dragging over the tendons that always strained in his neck when he was angry or upset, along the coarse, days old scruff that lined his square jaw, past his soft lips pressed firmly into a tight line. Soft light filtered in through the smudgy window and across his dark hair. Beyond that to the deep blue ocean of secrets that lay within his eyes—the windows to his soul—swimming with a sadness so deeply consuming Em felt certain she would drown in them.
“We need to talk.”
And the shutters slammed shut, closing out all of that emotion, masking all of the pain behind a blank stare.
“We do.” Jay reached behind him to hang his coat over a vacant hook without ever looking away from her. “Let’s go in the back.”
Em’s stomach twisted into knots any sailor would be proud of as Jay shoved through the supply room doors, checking to make sure they were alone. There wasn’t much to check. Boxes of everything from condiment refills to spare dishes were piled up against the walls and stacked on makeshift shelves that looked in constant danger of collapsing, leaving very little open floor space. All of which was occupied by her and Jay. Standing nearly on top of each other, he just looked at her, for the longest time. The shutters stayed in place, so she had no idea what was running through his head, but his scrutiny made her squirm.
Chapter Seventeen
Jay
She stood close enough to touch, looking up at him with those big, beautiful eyes. That look. All of that distress written all over her sweet face. He never wanted her to look at him that way. But she was worried about the conversation they needed to have, and rightfully so. She wasn’t going to like the outcome. Neither did he, but there wasn’t any other choice. When it came to her safety, there would never be another choice for him.