She’d come to a dead stop right inside the door, blocking the exit, and a group of teens pushed past her on their way out. Her fingers hovered over the top button of her coat and, without thinking, she fastened it shut again.
Part of her wanted to get it over with. Let him say what he needed to say so that she could start working toward recovering from the inevitable damage his words would cause. But the non-suicidal part of her knew there would be no recovery, and it clung to life. This life. The life that would be forever shattered, and take her right along with it, the minute Jay opened his mouth.
That’s the part that drove her to run like the coward she was straight for Ashlyn’s car.
Chapter Fifteen
Jay
Em had barely made it through the door before she turned around and ran. One look at him was all it took to drive her away. And, being weak, he’d let her go. Again.
He had to talk to her. She was hurting, he could see it. Hell, a blind man could see it. And he was hurting just as bad. This bullshit had to stop. Only, he still hadn’t been able to make up his mind about what to say when they did talk.
His heart begged to crawl on hands and knees and plead for her forgiveness. But his instincts, his need to protect her above all else—himself included—said that was wrong. Selfish. That he should let her go. Every time he’d almost convinced himself to do the right thing, his panicked, selfish heart would drive him right back into indecision.
Jay arrived home feeling the pressure of time on his shoulders, weighing him down. He couldn’t put this off anymore. They both deserved an answer. Limbo was hell. And he knew damn well it was him they were both waiting on. He had to make the first move. He just had to figure out what that move was.
A knock at the door pulled him from what was certain to become an all-night battle of wills with himself, which made him almost appreciative of the late night intrusion. Until he opened it.
“Don’t look so surprised, Julian. You think your little girl scared me away for good?” His father even managed to make a smile look threatening, full of teeth and malice. “Where is Em, anyway?”
Just the sound of her name on his lips made Jay’s blood boil. That bastard had no right to speak about her, look for her, breathe the same fucking air as her. His gaze darted around the living room, obviously looking for Em, and Jay’s fist tightened until even the smooth, rounded edges of the doorknob dug into his palm. Taking advantage of the momentary distraction, Jay attempted to slam the door in his face, but his father was ready for that.
Jamming the door with his booted foot, he used his shoulder to shove his way inside. “Nice place you got here. Use my money to buy it?”
“I used my money. Too bad there isn’t any left so why don’t you go—”
“Oh, there’s always money, Julian. Money to be made. Money to be spent. Money to be owed. You owe me, Julian. I’m here to collect.”
“I don’t owe you shit!”
“Watch your mouth, you little prick. And show a little respect. You forget the price of disrespect already?”
Jay choked down the bile creeping up the back of his throat. He hadn’t forgotten. How could he ever forget? He wore the reminder on his body every damn day of his life.
Jay’s fists clenched by his sides as he stared his father down, defiant. He wasn’t a child anymore. The bastard could threaten him all he wanted. He wasn’t going to be afraid anymore. Though his body seemed to disagree as his heart rate intensified with every loaded second that passed between them. His palms and back grew sweaty as he braced for the inevitable pain. He could take whatever his father dished out.
“You seem to have misplaced your girl. Don’t worry, I can find her for you. After all, I found you, didn’t I?”
Except that. “You stay the fuck away from her.”
“Sure. No problem. As long as I get paid on time.”
“Paid?”
“Installments of the debt you owe me. I’ll expect them weekly.”
“I can’t—”
“You will. Or I’ll make the girl pay for you.”
“You lay one hand on Em and I swear to God I will kill you.” Jay’s entire body shook with a lethal combination of rage and terror.
“That’s what I thought.” Jay’s father wore a satisfied smirk and he headed for the door. It shut with a bang that vibrated through Jay’s taught body.
Em. His legs ached to run to her right that instant. The need to have her in his arms was almost unbearable. He wanted to hold her, kiss her, lock her in a goddamn tower somewhere just to know she was safe.
Instead, he crumpled to the floor as relief and fear slammed into him, simultaneously. Thank Christ Em hadn’t been there for that. It was bad enough listening to him threaten her. If he’d touched her again . . . But this wasn’t over. His father didn’t make idle threats. Jay knew that better than anyone.