It was as if the ground had suddenly shifted—the rules that had been rigidly set melting like ice cubes on a warm day—only it wasn’t just Lily who was flouting them.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
‘CONGRATULATIONS, Lily!’
Lily shook the hand of her much-admired professor as the interview concluded, the smile on her face so wide as she left his office she was almost tempted to burst into giggles as she headed for Administration.
She was back—back to a place where life had been wonderful. A time before her father had died, a time before those wretched letters had blown apart her world, back to a place where she belonged.
And it was thanks to Hunter.
However much he’d opposed it that morning, Lily thought as she filled out the endless forms that were required, it had been Hunter who had suggested it, Hunter who had made it possible, Hunter who had made her delve deep and admit to her innermost dream, and for that she’d always be grateful.
‘The banking forms are missing.’ Lily handed over the wad of forms to a rather harassed receptionist. ‘I’d like to pay in monthly installments, please.’
‘It’s all been taken care of.’ Printing off a sheet, she handed it to Lily. ‘Your husband’s assistant rang through this morning. Sorry.’ She reached out for a ringing telephone. ‘I need to get this.’
He’d paid.
Lily’s eyes welled with tears as she read the form, saw that he’d paid in full for her tuition, had even provided credit for books. It wasn’t the money that moved her—it was the thought behind it. Jewellery, a car, a house—nothing could compare to this. Education, to Lily, was the greatest gift, increasing her knowledge so she could reach out to others—those that wanted to be reached, anyway.
‘It’s just one or two to unwind in the evening.’ Dishevelled, anxious, Jinty gave the group an attempt at a smile. The whole, exhausting session—in fact, the last few weeks both in group and individually—had been heavily focused on Jinty’s recent return to drinking, and though optimistic for her client’s sake, even Lily was starting to wonder if she’d ever break through the fog of denial engulfing Jinty. ‘I know what you’re all thinking, but it’s nothing like that.’
‘Nothing like what, Jinty?’ Lily asked, listening to the resounding silence, broken only by a couple of coughs from the group before finally Jinty answered.
‘Nothing like before.’
Before, when her life had fallen apart—before, when she’d absolutely refused to face up to the world and its problems. Sadly, if Jinty didn’t want to see it, chose not to face it, there was absolutely nothing Lily could do except listen and hopefully, when she was ready, still be there for her.
‘It’s all right for you.’ Jinty suddenly snarled her rage focused directly at Lily, her anger palpable. But far from being shocked, Lily welcomed it with relief. ‘You sit there in your posh dress, with your fancy driver outside, and tell us where we’re all going wrong. You don’t have to worry about bills and kids and an ex…’On and on she went, tears, loathing choking every word, until finally it was over, her denial parting for a second, just long enough to choke the words they’d all been waiting to hear, absolute terror in her voice as she stilled just long enough to see her past and glimpse a futile future.
‘I don’t want to go back there.’
Lachlan was waiting for her in the car park, quickly stubbing out a cigarette and rushing round to open the door as, drooping with mental exhaustion, Lily walked over. She waved for him to relax.
‘I’m going to do some shopping, take a walk perhaps.’
‘That’s fine. Would you like me to wait here, Mrs Myles, or—?’
‘Thanks, Lachlan, but I won’t be needing you today,’ Lily broke in, brave all of a sudden and knowing what she had to do. Her troubled clients had unwittingly given back just as much insight as they’d received. If Jinty could face her fears then surely so could she. ‘I’ll be making my own way home.’
‘Congratulations, Mrs Brown!’ For the second time that day Lily accepted the congratulations graciously, shook another doctor’s hand, then headed to Reception and paid in cash for her consultation. Only the similarities didn’t end there. Heading out onto the busy city street, watching the world carrying on as normal as her entire world shifted, Lily found she was smiling, really smiling. The news she had dreaded, the utter panic that had filled her whenever she had dared to think about this moment curiously absent, the impossibility of the future put on hold for just a little while as she focused on the present—she was definitely having a baby. Hunter’s baby. And even if it was the last thing she’d planned, the last thing she’d wanted to happen, she didn’t feel cheated or trapped. Whatever Hunter’s reaction, Lily knew in her heart that she’d manage, that both she and the little life inside her would be OK.