‘You know my position and it hasn’t changed.’
‘Would your position remain the same if we were married?’
Carrie went very still as Nico added, ‘It makes sense, you know it does. You can depend on me to take care of you and still retain your independence.’
And when she still didn’t speak he went on, ‘I want to look after you, Carrie. I want to shoulder full responsibility for you and for the baby.’
‘And you’re sure that’s not just duty speaking?’ She would rather remain on her own than have Nico stand by her out of a sense of duty.
‘I’m quite sure.’ Coming to kneel by her daybed, Nico took her hand and, resting it briefly against his brow, he brought it to his lips and pressed a kiss on her palm. ‘Say you’ll marry me, Carrie…’
Say you’ll make me a father… It was too late. All the old doubts and insecurities had flown back into her mind. She was plain and she was dull, and Nico was…
‘Getting married makes good sense, you know it does,’ he tried again, unaware of her inner turmoil.
Sense? She had used good sense all her life, except where Nico was concerned, and she never wanted to use good sense where love was concerned. ‘I don’t want to—’
‘Carrie, please…’
She turned her face away from him. She wanted more than a cold-blooded arrangement based on good sense; she wanted Nico with his guard down, she wanted a proposal of marriage from a man who loved her to distraction. What she didn’t want was another business proposition. ‘I need time to think, Nico…And now I need to sleep.’ Which was a lie. It was the last thing she needed. ‘The heat…’ She made a weak gesture with her hand.
‘Of course…’
Carrie didn’t turn to look as Nico walked away. Had she ruined everything? Nico had proposed marriage and she had refused him a second time. He had told her that he loved her and she had turned him away.
Because his emotions were on fire, he wasn’t thinking rationally…She had to think for him. He had been caught up in the passion of the Palio, and then in her near accident. And if he loved her at all it was because she was carrying his longed-for child….
Crunching up her fingers, Carrie pressed them against her forehead, wishing it could be different. Everything Nico had said to her should have been enough, but the recognition that it was adrenalin driving him meant it wasn’t enough and never could be. She couldn’t accept him. A marriage without love was no marriage at all, and a loveless marriage to Nico would destroy her.
He’d had a night to sleep on what had happened and he still found it hard to believe that he had handled the situation so badly. In business he was always sure-footed, he always knew the right thing to say, but when it came to personal relationships he was out of his depth.
Using business terminology—contracts, good sense—was hardly the right language to use when he was speaking to the love of his life about the most important decision they would ever make. He’d made so many mistakes. First he’d tried to blackmail Carrie into staying with him and then he’d risked his life knowing he was going to be a father. No wonder she thought he didn’t care about her or their baby. She was too shrewd to be steamrollered and he was going to lose her if he wasn’t careful.
He was so used to having everything his own way he hadn’t prepared for the possibility that Carrie might refuse his proposal of marriage. But on the plus side, he didn’t know what it was to give up, either.
Carrie hugged herself as she stared out across the lake. The smooth sheet of water had turned rosy gold in the early evening light and was lit with fiery lanterns in honour of a small ceremony to mark the end of the Palio. There would be a reception, Nico had told her, which he hoped she would attend.
She would leave then to start her new life. It seemed appropriate to be leaving Nico in the midst of victory—one of his many victory celebrations.
The only victory Carrie cared about was hearing Nico tell her that he loved her, that he really loved her. Perhaps she was more needy than most. She had felt so lonely with her aunt and realised now it must have affected her. But the loneliness she had experienced then was nothing compared to this, Carrie thought as she turned away from the lake. Leaving Nico again was the hardest thing she’d ever have to do. She could see everything she had done wrong. She had tried to change him…but into what? Wasn’t he the man she had fallen in love with?
Even in her present mood she couldn’t help smiling when she saw him coming across the grass towards her. It was tempting to believe her thoughts had summoned him and, because she couldn’t wait to find out what he wanted, she ran to meet him.