‘Can I see?’
He tore his gaze away reluctantly. ‘Yes, of course…’
Sitting down again at her side, he held it in front of her, refusing to relinquish hold of the image, giving the impression he would never let the small, grainy picture leave his possession again, not even for a second. ‘Can you see this?’ He angled the photograph. ‘Do you think those are boy legs, or girl legs?’
‘Does it matter? Do you care?’ Carrie studied Nico’s face. There was no chance she would distract him, not the slightest chance he would catch her staring at him….
‘No, of course I don’t care. As long as the baby’s healthy, I don’t mind if it’s a girl or a boy.’
She had to smile at his confidence. He was determined to play a leading role in the upbringing of her baby, but quite how that was going to happen…
Fear of what Nico might do to keep her baby under his roof drove her to hit back at him. ‘But you won’t know it’s yours for another six months yet.’
And now the spell was broken. There had been no need to say that, but there were so many fears inside her competing with the joy and the fears had won.
‘Don’t you know yet?’ he rebuked her softly.
‘I know…’
She had to stop this agonising over everything Nico said, or might do, now or some time in the future, or anxiety would eat her up. The fact that he had stated his intention to be an effective parent was enough; she couldn’t ask more of him.
‘Do you mind if I keep this?’ he said.
She wanted to tell him yes she did, but it seemed churlish when she had the baby.
‘I’ll get you a copy,’ he said, still examining it.
‘Will you?’
‘You know I will.’
As their eyes met she believed him.
‘I’ll wait for you outside while you get dressed.’
The intimacy between them had disappeared, she realised as Nico left the room. The easy acceptance of their nakedness had vanished. They had shared this, the closest of moments, and yet something had died that would need rebuilding if they were ever to get it back again.
Nico said very little on the way back to the palace, and when they arrived he turned Carrie over to the care of his mother with little or no explanation other than the fact that he had to get back to his brother, Max, to finalise the plans they had been making. Anyone would be lucky to have Nico in their corner, Carrie reflected, standing back from the window so he wouldn’t see her watching him as he left. He still had the photograph in his breast pocket, she realised. She wondered if he would get it out from time to time to take a look at it, or if he would be content just to keep it next to his heart.
She was dabbling her feet in the lake when he returned. She had just planted her hands on the cool grass behind her and was leaning back, closing her eyes. She didn’t hear him at first and gave a little start when he hunkered down on the ground beside her. ‘Is everything all right?’ She shaded her eyes to look at him and was immediately concerned.
‘Now it is,’ he said, frustrating her desire to know more.
When he leaned across to brush a wing of hair from her face it was so unexpected that she flinched.
‘Don’t you trust me, Carrie?’
She held her breath.
‘I’m sorry if I disturbed you.’
‘You didn’t disturb me.’ But he was smiling at her in that way he had that made her heart perform somersaults.
‘I was just admiring the view.’
‘With your eyes closed?’
She had to smile.
‘Let’s do it together,’ he suggested, leaning back and shutting his eyes.
‘Nico…’
He opened one eye to look at her.
‘You’re impossible.’
‘At last, we agree on something.’
He leaned closer, he leaned very close until she was sure he was going to kiss her, but instead he sprang to his feet, leaving her aching for him.
Walking away from her, he stood at the edge of the lake with his arms folded across his chest. ‘So, how do you feel now, Carrie? Now you’ve seen the baby…’
She knew he’d walked away because he didn’t want her to know how the scan had affected him.
‘I feel wonderful,’ she said honestly.
‘And this isn’t bad, is it?’ His glance seemed to encompass everything: the view, the birdsong, the buzz of insects, the mellow summer breeze…
‘White swans drifting on a silver lake? You’re very lucky, Nico.’ And when he didn’t answer her, she patted the grass by her side. ‘You can join me if you like.’ His face was in shadow so she couldn’t see what he was thinking, but after a few moments’ hesitation he came to her.