Maintaining the deception with Nico’s mother was fast becoming an unbearable agony. And one she had brought on herself, Carrie reflected, straightening up. She would keep her promise and meet Nico’s mother as arranged. How could she not when she still had to thank Princess Laura for the loan of the beautiful gown?
Everything had changed in the space of a few hours, forcing him to examine his feelings for a woman whom he knew to be a liar, and yet who last night had worn the mantle of integrity like a shining cloak. No one could infuriate him more than Carrie; no one could soothe him as she could, either. But she had withdrawn her comforting hand, her calming presence, and had chosen to drive him away. His lips curved briefly with appreciation, remembering her show of spirit at the very moment when he had been so certain she was his. It had made him want her like never before and perhaps had enabled him to see her clearly for the first time. He had certainly seen enough to make some significant changes to his thinking. Carrie’s quietness masked her determination and her indomitable will. In that he had underestimated her hugely. She might look like a delicate wildflower in comparison to the woman his grandfather had chosen for him, since Anastasia reminded him of a garish silk bloom in an undertaker’s window, but Carrie was strong. If she hadn’t lied to him he would have wanted more than sex from her, but how could he pursue a relationship based on deception? The fact that she was pregnant by another man was tearing him up inside, but even that wasn’t enough for him to want her out of his life.
Princess Laura’s tour had been so interesting and informative, and the princess herself so kind and generous with her time. Carrie felt guiltier than ever. She wanted nothing more than to tell Princess Laura the truth about her baby, but she couldn’t say a word until Nico accepted his child.
Princess Anastasia’s name had come up several times during the day, and Carrie had been surprised to hear Princess Laura say that she found Anastasia tiresome. It had made Carrie wonder what kind of stepmother Anastasia might make if she and Nico did decide to marry.
By forcing Nico to acknowledge his child would she be condemning her baby to the very life she so desperately wanted to protect it from? A life where her child would always fall short in Anastasia’s eyes? Not to be loved was the greatest pain imaginable, and it was the last thing she wanted for the baby growing inside her.
Carrie’s agitation grew to the point where she considered leaving Niroli without saying another word to Nico. She could leave a discreet note of thanks propped against the dainty clock on Princess Laura’s dressing table…She could call a cab to take her to the airport, and then disappear somewhere so impenetrable that no one would ever find them…
It took a huge effort of will to banish the doubt as she had banished the weakness, but she did so by reminding herself that at some point she had to believe in Nico. She had to believe he was the man she thought he was, the man who would always protect the weak, and who would protect his children with his life.
She fixed a smile to her face as the young maid hurried back to her side with some fresh flowers that she had picked herself to pin to Carrie’s dress for that evening. The young girl still believed in happily ever after and it wasn’t fair to stamp on her dreams. ‘Once again you’ve made the perfect choice for me,’ Carrie assured her. She could live the dream for one more night, couldn’t she?
The simple gown was ankle-length in honey-coloured silk. It had long sleeves and was demure, yet the cut showed off her figure to best advantage. When she was dressed the maid insisted she must secure her long hair behind a simple headband and then leave it loose.
‘But I look so young,’ Carrie complained. And she wasn’t sure that that was such a good thing where Nico was concerned. Having taken a giant step forward in standing up to him, she didn’t want him mistaking her this evening for someone who would be grateful for his guidance. But then she caught sight of the maid’s expression in the mirror and knew she had disappointed her. The fact that she was wearing her hair loose wouldn’t make her any less determined.
The maid smiled with relief when she agreed to the hairstyle. ‘I hope you enjoy your evening, signorina,’ she said, having added the finishing touches.
Somehow Carrie doubted it, but she found a confident smile. ‘I’m sure I will,’ she said with resolve.
CHAPTER TEN
THE MEAL HAD dragged on for far too long. Nico’s gaze lingered on Carrie’s face. It shone with vitality, and with honesty, and with all the qualities that constantly challenged his opinion of her.