She glanced up and blushed as if she sensed his mood deteriorating. She was right to be worried. How she could she be so sexually charged one moment and so meek and mild the next? It was enough to make any man suspicious.
But then she stumbled, and he caught her, and when he had to hold her close he felt things he didn’t want to feel. He’d fought emotion all his life. He reacted the usual way, with swift rejection of his feelings. ‘What’s happened to you, Carrie?’
‘You happened to me, Nico…’ She quickly recovered and, straightening up, brushed away his steadying hand. ‘You’re like a drug…A drug I find dangerously addictive.’
It was such a piece of drama coming from his mouse he almost laughed. They both knew what they had, and that it wasn’t going anywhere. It was then he saw her feet were bleeding. ‘For goodness’ sake, Carrie, why didn’t you say something?’
He hadn’t meant to sound so harsh and felt bad seeing tears in her eyes. They were such tiny feet, on closer inspection, and the damage had been done by some cheap plastic sandals. He felt a tug somewhere deep inside him, which he immediately shrugged off. ‘We’ll have to do something about this,’ he said impatiently, glancing at his watch.
The small first-aid room was located just off the palace kitchen. It was tiled in white and smelled of disinfectant. Carrie couldn’t care less about her feet. She was with Nico and now she had to tell him her news.
He ran some warm water into a bowl, and added a drop of disinfectant. Grabbing a towel, he swung it over his shoulder. ‘Put your feet in here. You’ll have to soak them for a few minutes.’
Remembering his ten-minute deadline, Carrie felt hysterical laughter leap in her throat. But she didn’t see the funny side for long. His deadline undoubtedly involved Princess Anastasia. Nico could look forward to his evening with the princess now that he was replete and could relax. He might come from the highest family in the land, but Nico was a primal force who needed a regular outlet for his energy, and she was that outlet when there was no other sport to be enjoyed. Taking her up against the wall when the servants might have come in at any moment and disturbed them was just another form of risk-taking, providing Nico with all the elements of danger he enjoyed.
She had enjoyed it, too, Carrie accepted. More than enjoyed it. Nico’s love-making filled her with joy and with purpose…while it lasted. But lust was no foundation for a family, and maybe she could bear the pain of his rejection, but she didn’t want that for her baby.
When Nico examined her feet and handled them with the greatest care it was all she could do to hold back her tears. All she had ever wanted was a home full of love, a family, and she wanted Nico to be part of that family.
‘How could you do this to yourself, Carrie?’ he demanded reproachfully.
‘I didn’t do it on purpose.’ She kept her voice light. She didn’t want Nico to feel responsible for her. She didn’t want him thinking her weak; he must never think her weak. She wasn’t his mouse, and never would be again, not now that she had a child to consider.
‘These shoes are meant for the beach, not for walking round town.’
‘I only had city shoes with me when I landed, and I couldn’t find any shops—’
‘There are plenty of shops…’
But none she could afford, Carrie thought, not wanting to say as much to Nico. She didn’t want to give him the impression that she was hard up, or a hard-luck case.
He looked at her thoughtfully, as if he knew she couldn’t afford anything from the shops in Niroli, and maybe even admired her a little for keeping silent.
She hoped that was what had brought the softening to his lips. ‘I should have known I can’t wear flip-flops; they always hurt my feet.’
‘If you knew—’He stopped as if he didn’t want to start an argument and started storming through the cupboards instead. ‘There should be antiseptic cream in here somewhere….’
He insisted on drying her feet on a fluffy white towel, which he rested on his knees. And when he put the cream on he did so very gently.
She had to brace herself. She had to tense every muscle so she didn’t show him how that made her feel, but even so her eyes filled with tears.
‘It isn’t that bad, is it?’ Nico said, straightening up to look at her.
Worse than he knew. ‘No, fine,’ she assured him.
And then he did the one thing she dreaded most. Reaching into the inside breast pocket of his jacket, he pulled out a wad of notes. ‘You really must get yourself some decent shoes, Carrie.’
She could only stare in horror at the money.