"Good morning, handsome," I said so softly it was almost a whisper.
"Good morning, gorgeous!"
"That your column?" he asked, pointing to the screen.
"Yeah. I have tons more mail but can only answer ten a week. I have two more to go for this week and then I'm done. But I need a shower, so I'll do those later."
"Can I have a look?"
This was new. Grey hadn't wanted to see them before, as I had been doing them over the last couple of weeks.
"Sure," I said, handing over my laptop.
"Why don't you grab your shower? I promise not to do anything except read."
"Okay," I said as I finished my coffee. I always liked to drink it quite hot, not too nice to drink it when it's cold.
I kissed Grey lightly on the cheek and then went for my shower.
I was feeling good this morning and couldn't wait to go to see Dr. Hale. She was a lovely lady and her laughter was infectious.
I showered and dressed with a smile on my face. If I was right, Grey and I would both be very happy shortly. I was keeping a secret from him until I knew for sure, though.
When I returned downstairs, Grey was sitting in the same place with my laptop still on his lap.
"You're really good at this. Not that I ever doubted you, but seeing it for myself … "
"Thank you. You haven't read it for the last couple of weeks since I started though, so why today?"
"I am quite skeptical of all that kind of nonsense. Or at least I was before now. Most papers have people who give the answers people want to hear, but you-you're honest, even if it's not necessarily going to be easy for the person to read."
"Well, I was always taught honesty is the best policy. People don't need someone to lie to them and say it will all be fine, they need someone to say what they really think."
"Well, these answers are great," he remarked as he placed my laptop on the settee and got up to pull me into a hug.
I leaned against his chest and inhaled the mixture of things that made Grey so appealing. I rested my cheek against his shoulder and wrapped my arms around him. I'd love to just grab him and take him back to bed, but the doctor appointment really couldn't wait.
"You better go and get dressed if you're coming to the doctor's with me," I said against his neck.
"I guess I should, we don't want you being late."
He cupped my face in both hands and brought me in for a kiss. It started off soft and tender, but then he bit my lip playfully and I deepened the kiss. I needed this man like the air that I breathe.
As we broke apart, I was breathless and could feel a warmth spread throughout me-happiness, that's what this feeling was. That wasn't a good enough or descriptive enough word, but at its core, that's what it was.
Grey smiled at me then headed up the stairs for a shower and to get dressed.
As Dr. Hale greeted me, she asked if Grey was coming in with me. I told Grey to wait in the waiting room for me. He was more than okay with that because on the drive over, I had told him it was ‘lady problems.'
"So, Carly, I believe you've come in for a pregnancy test?" Dr. Hale asked as she sat opposite me.
"Yes, Dr. Hale. You know my history, my slightly elevated levels of the HCG hormone can cause me to test positive even if I'm not pregnant."
"So do you think it would be best if we did a sonogram?" she asked as she looked directly at me. She was nothing if not friendly and straightforward.
"I … I … guess so." It wasn't what I'd had in mind, but I guess there was no better way to know for sure.
"Well, luckily for you, this is quite a new practice with quite new equipment, in comparison to some around here. Others would need to send you to the hospital, but we have an ultrasound machine here." She smiled broadly at me.
"So … we can do it now?" I asked, a little nervous and excited.
"Yes. I just have to go next door to retrieve it. Would you like your partner to come in?"
"Not yet, Doctor, I want to know for sure first."
"Sure thing," she said as she got up from her seat.
As she left the office via a side connecting door, I looked around the large space. There were the usual things like scales, a bed, blood pressure monitors, all the things a doctor might need. But the space was decorated so that it looked less like a GP's room. There were photos of Dr. Hale with her family, pictures of Dr. Hale with her colleagues, and most interestingly, a poster with a kitten on the branch of a tree. It read "Hang in there, kitty."
I was still laughing about the poster as Dr Hale came back in.
"Is it a private joke or can anyone join in?" she asked as she pushed the scanner in front of her.
"Oh, I was just laughing at your kitten poster."
"Oh that, my daughter Kerry gave me that, she said she thought it would brighten the patients' day."
"It's certainly made me giggle. Sorry, I feel silly now."
"I can tell Kerry it had the desired effect," she said with a broad smile.
I looked at the ultrasound scanner. I was scared that I was getting my hopes up. I'd done several home tests and all of them said positive, but I'd always had slightly elevated levels of HCG and the tests could be wrong.
I'd lost a baby when Grey and I were teenagers. I always wondered if he would've chosen me and the baby instead of the job if I hadn't had a miscarriage two months before he left. But I'd gone through the pregnancy and miscarriage alone-I hadn't breathed a word to my family, nor to Grey. I wasn't going to tell Grey I was pregnant and then have him stay out of duty to the two of us. I planned to tell him if he chose me. If not, I would've been a single mother. I know now that that was the wrong thing to do because he deserved to know either way-but I'd miscarried anyway, so no choice had to be made.
I had been heartbroken when I found out I was losing the baby. I had been in pure agony and had rung Dr. Hale at home. She came straight round and told me what was happening. She was there every step of the way.
My parents knew now and I had told Grey since he'd got back. Needless to say, my family were mad I hadn't told them, but sad that I had lost the baby and gone through it alone. Grey had broken down crying. He blamed himself for everything. He said it was the stress of knowing I was moving away that caused me to lose the baby-I had told him that sometimes, we're meant to carry to full term and have a baby and sometimes, the baby just isn't ready for this world yet. We had both cried over our loss and got it all out of our system together-we would never forget the one we lost, but maybe one day we'd finally conceive another.
We hadn't been trying to conceive but I had forgotten to take the pill one day when I was ill. All it takes is one missed pill. I thought I had been lucky, but when I felt more symptoms of pregnancy, I had booked a doctor appointment. Maybe I was lucky, but in a different way.
"Let's get you up on the bed then, Carly," Dr. Hale said as she plugged in the machine and got everything ready for me.
As she put the gel on my stomach and ran the scanner over my belly, what I saw on the screen had me speechless.
"Would you like to call your partner in now?" Dr Hale smiled at me.
"Yes, please. His name is Greyston."
She went to the waiting room and called for Grey.
They came in and I was behind a curtain.
"Stay there a moment while I just see to something," Dr. Hale told him as she came behind the curtain and picked the scanner back up. She ran in over my belly again and found a good spot to show Grey clearly.
"Come on in, Grey!" I called.
He walked around the curtain and I saw his jaw drop as he noticed me lying there with gel on my belly and a scanner being run over me. Then he looked at the screen and a single tear dripped down his cheek.
He sat by me and held my hand as he looked between the screen and me in awe.
Dr. Hale asked if we wanted pictures and of course we said yes.
She printed a couple of pictures off and handed them to us.
Grey's one tear turned to two and then they started streaming down his cheeks.
The doctor cleaned the gel off my belly and I stood up to throw my arms around Grey.
We thanked Dr. Hale and she told me to go to the hospital for a proper twelve week scan in about four weeks, because she thought I was around eight weeks pregnant already.
Pregnant. I couldn't believe it. I was pregnant. There were no words to describe the feeling of elation when I saw that baby on the screen. My baby. Grey's baby. Our baby.
We walked out of the doctor's and got in the car to go home.
"That's why you didn't drink the champagne at our engagement party, or the glass of wine I poured you the same night when we had that bath."
"Yes. I had done a test that morning. You know that I can test false positive though, so it was best to go to the doctor and get it confirmed before I told you. I didn't want to get our hopes up and then have them dashed. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."
"Don't be sorry, baby. You were worried it might be nothing. I can fully understand."