Not the Marrying Kind(53)
“Inevitable, don’t you think, considering our marriage wasn’t real in the first place?”
“You’re kidding, right?” Ashlee’s raised eyebrows almost hit her hairline. “All that ‘just business’ and ‘convenience’ crap might’ve been your motivation at the start, but I saw how you two looked at each other. You were crazy in love.”
“Lust, not love, and sometimes it’s not enough.”
Ashlee’s hand flew to her mouth. “Uh-oh, you said the L-word and you never say the L-word.”
“Figure of speech.”
Damn, her voice gave a betraying wobble and predictably Ashlee latched onto it.
“Bull. Want to know what I think?”
“Not really—”
“You’ve fallen for him. You wouldn’t be here in the middle of the night otherwise…” Ashlee snapped her fingers. “Hang on a sec. Lou’s divorce party was tonight. No way in Hades you would’ve abandoned that without good reason, which proves I’m right.” Smugly, she folded her arms and nodded. “You wouldn’t have bolted unless something major went down and to care that much, you must love him.”
“Finished, Dr. Phil?”
“Hey, focusing on you made me forget about Craig for a few minutes.” Ashlee’s mouth twisted into a wry grin. “Psychoanalyzing you is like free therapy for me.”
“Sorry to burst your Freudian bubble, but nothing major went down.” Poppy mentally apologized for the white lie. “We realized we want different things, so what’s the point in perpetuating the sham?”
Ashlee peered at her, a frown slashing her brows. “The point is, you’re full of it.”
“Leave it—”
“No.” Ashlee leaped up and propped herself on the table opposite, leaving Poppy no option but to meet her scrutinizing gaze head on. “Tell me you don’t love him.”
I don’t love him hovered on Poppy’s lips, but she couldn’t do it, couldn’t lie to her best friend. Next to Sara, Ashlee was the only other person she truly trusted, and no way would she let some guy make her lie. “So what if I do?”
Ashlee squealed and jumped up and down. “I knew it! About freaking time.”
“Uh, don’t you find this a little odd, that I fall for a guy I married for his money?”
Ashlee waved away her concern. “Not really. The Real Housewives of someplace county do it all the time.”
Poppy smiled, even though it was the last thing she felt like doing. “This isn’t a reality show.”
“Then cut the drama.” Ashlee knelt in front of her and clasped her hands. “Whatever happened between you two, sort it out.”
Poppy sent a pointed glance at Ashlee’s bare ring finger with the faint tan line. “This from the woman who walked away from an engagement?”
As Ashlee’s eyes filled with tears again, Poppy silently cursed her insensitivity. “Sorry, Ash—”
“There’s a massive difference between walking away from a guy who doesn’t want you and one who does.”
“Beck doesn’t want me—”
“What if he came marching through that door right now? Would that prove he wants you? Is that what you need, some grand gesture because you’re too damn scared to admit the truth?”
Poppy shook her head. It didn’t clear the fog. “I’m not hanging myself out here. He specified no emotions from the start. And he certainly hasn’t given any declarations of undying affection.”
But he had. In his own way.
She’d marveled how a guy who’d been born to druggie parents and had it rough as a kid could be so giving and open with her. He may not have said it in words, but his actions had spoken clearly.
In comparison, she hadn’t told him much at all. She’d vaguely alluded to her parents’ narcissism and she’d given him snippets about Sara only because it tied into her motivation for marriage.
What had she really shared with him, apart from her body?
He’d made the effort to spend time with her, making regular trips to Red Rock Canyon. He’d opened up to her about his past in a way she hadn’t expected. He’d been proud of her at the party earlier while respecting her wish for anonymity.
And what had she done? Accused him of being an underhanded sneak, leaking her diva identity to end their marriage as an easy “get out of jail free” card?
“What are you thinking?”
Poppy rubbed her forehead where the beginnings of a headache pounded to life. “I’m thinking your philosophizing is starting to get to me.”
“You’ve got a special guy, hon. I’d hate to see you lose him over pride or stubbornness.” Ashlee stood and patted her shoulder. “Now if you don’t mind, I need to get back to bed. You took ten years off my life coming in here.”