Their affair was too temporary to mention.
Yeah, that's it, she decided, as Britta nipped herbs from the plants on the windowsill. It was too temporary to mention. She was perfectly justified in holding back from telling her friend.
Chapter Twenty-One
Paige ducked into the track alongside Mrs. MacPherson's eight-foot panel fence, where the boughs from her father's cedar trees sheltered her from the slanting rain. It was dark as sin along here and she'd walked through a spider web more than once this week-shudder-but the needled path stayed mostly dry and kept her midnight visits to Sterling's bed invisible to prying eyes.
The visits she shouldn't be making.
But it was like there was an inaudible pulse beat that called her across to him. She ought to be stomping into her father's basement, shaking her brother awake and demanding answers, but she wasn't going to like the answers so she just kept promising herself one more night. Tomorrow she'd deal with Lyle. Tonight...
"Hey, darlin'," Sterling said over his shoulder, voice sleepy as she slipped through the back door, then shut it against the low thrum of a steady downpour. His hair was flat on one side, slanted west on the other. The back of his flannel shirt had wrinkles pressed into it. He was pouring steaming water into a cup, stirring up the scent of cinnamon and hot chocolate.
"You look like you just woke up."
"I fell asleep on the couch waiting for you." He smiled, then frowned. "C'mere. Why don't you ever wear a jacket?" He held out an arm while sipping from the mug with his other hand.
She hesitated, thrown off her stride because he wasn't snatching her into the house and attacking her clothing the way he had every other night.
"I always think I'll run and won't get wet." She toed off her shoes and joined him, breathless as she let him tuck her against his side and plant a chocolatey kiss on her lips.
He wove his hand into her damp hair and urged her to rest her temple against his heartbeat, quietly embracing her for a few minutes while the rain created a bubble of sound around them. He offered her his mug.
"Share?"
She rejected it with a brief shake of her head. The sharing would begin with hot chocolate, but it would end with her struggle over whether to betray her brother.
Sharing was out. Straight, trouble-erasing sex would be fine, thanks. Letting her hand trail down, she climbed it up the inside of his thigh, burrowing gently into the heat of his loins.
He shifted his feet. His arm tightened around her. He rubbed his chin on her hair. "Did you and your husband ever play games, Paige?"
"Pardon?" She let her hand fall away. "Like Pictionary?"
"No." His lips twitched with amusement.
That's what she had thought. She drew away, uncomfortable.
He set down his mug and asked, "He didn't want to wear diapers, or spank you, or go down on you? Kinky stuff like that?"
"No, no, and, I never asked him to. In that way we were quite compatible. And I don't think receiving oral sex is kinky, it's just not something I'm comfortable with. Why are you bringing it up again?"
"I'm just trying to figure out why you have a hang up about it. You go anywhere you want on me."
"Giving is different. Guys like women going there."
"What if this guy likes going there?"
"It just doesn't do it for me. Let it go." And could they please get to the steak and potatoes sex?
"All I'm saying is, just because you've never had good oral sex doesn't mean you should write it off." He reached for something on top of the fridge. "I'd make you come."
"That's very humble of y-" She swallowed as he draped a length of white satin around her neck so the fringed ends rested on each of her breasts. "It's after Labor Day. Do you have something in ecru?"
"Do you trust me, Paige?"
He had to be kidding. "Um...."
"It's very soft. Feel it." He tugged one end, slithering it down her breast while he raised her hand and trailed the cool silkiness over the bare skin of her wrist, making her hand tremble and goosebumps rise on her forearm.
"Sterling..."
"Just answer the question."
"Well, I'm pretty sure you'd never hurt me, if that's what you mean." Physically. Emotionally she was prepared to bet big money he was going to devastate her.
His lip twitched as though he was amused by a secret only he knew. "Here, hold it like this." He arranged her hands, palms up, so the silk draped over both, the slack hanging between them. Then he framed her face with his hands and said, "Do you trust me? Yes or no."
"It's not that I don't. But I'm not sure I'm ready for bondage."
"Yes or no, Paige?"
Her heart beat so hard it hurt her ribcage. Her skin felt clammy with a nervous sweat. But deep in her belly, heat pooled into a weight of betraying excitement. She was turned on. And if she said, no, she didn't trust him, she might lose what they had.
Still....
He ran soothing thumbs over her jawbone, waiting for her answer. Did she trust him? Could she? That was the question. Whether she should start, really start, to believe in him.
She wanted to. "I do," she said hesitantly. "But bondage?"
He stilled her lips with his thumb.
"Your faith in me will always be rewarded." He took the scarf in two hands to press it across her eyes.
She was so surprised, it took her a moment to remember to breathe. By the time she did, he had her blindfolded and drawn fully against him.
Wrapping her arms around his waist, she hugged herself into his warmth, kind of giddy she was so relieved, feeling rewarded. Feeling the first threads of genuine trust.
When he tilted her chin up, she poured gratitude into the kiss, generous with herself, able to give more because it felt safe to do so.
The kiss went on, paced slow, both of them willing to enjoy just lips and idle embracing when every other time she'd set a demanding pace for fear of having it all snatched away. And really, it wasn't so different blindfolded. They'd made love in his darkened bedroom and would move there again soon.
"Let's go into the parlor," he said, his chocolate-scented breath sultry against her lips. "I have the really kinky stuff set up there."
"Um." She didn't step in time with him so he caught her behind the knees and swung her into a cradle-hold against his chest. "Oh!"
"You said you trusted me," he teased.
"It feels weird to be carried. And I don't know what you're planning."
"That's the whole point, isn't it? You have to trust me." He released her legs and she clutched at him until her socked feet found the cool hardwood. "Now stand here while I get the whip."
Her hands went to the blindfold. He stopped her. "I'm teasing. And I'm trusting you, too, gorgeous. No cheating."
She sensed him moving away and waved her hands through the air, trying to find furniture so she could orient herself. It was warm in here. She could hear the fire crackling so she was surprised to hear a match strike.
"Would you really whip me?" she asked.
"Not even if you begged. Not my thing. The begging has potential, though."
"Just because you've never had good S&M doesn't mean you should write it off."
He chuckled, then blew a breath. The scent of sulfur came to her nostrils.
"Candlelight?" she guessed.
"What can I say? I'm a pervert. Here comes the really freaky stuff. Ready?"
She swallowed, strained her senses for a warning as to what would happen, knew she'd only find out if she continued to trust him. She nodded.
There was a click, and then piano notes. Norah Jones.
He was in front of her all of a sudden, lifting her hands behind his neck, drawing her against him and swaying.
"You're one depraved sicko, Roy." She followed his lead as her body fit into his. Her head found a place on his shoulder. "You should be locked up."
"It was this or painting your toes, but I couldn't bring myself to buy the polish."
She smiled and moved her arms down around his waist, so she could get under his shirt and feel the bare skin of his back. "This is nice."
"I'm glad you think so. Did I mention the drapes are open?"
She stiffened and lifted her head. "Really?"
He didn't answer, but she suspected he was grinning.
"I'm going to have a hard time trusting you if you keep lying to me."
His hands stroked her back, warm and sure, drifting low to shape her backside. The lazy stimulation relaxed her at the same time it unfurled a teasing response inside her. She settled her head against him again.
After a moment he asked, "Why would it bother you if people knew about us?" His tone told her it bothered him that she wanted to keep their affair secret.
She took her time answering, felt like it might be the biggest leap of faith yet. Adjusting the position of her head, she said, "I'm not up to the speculation that will follow when it ends."