Travis was either going to vomit or pass out. He fell first to his knees and then sat back against the door-frame. He sat there for a long time listening to Emma cry in the living room and Dustin try to soothe her. He took deep breaths and tried not to think past this very moment. What he needed to survive in this instant. A breath. In and out.
He stood and returned to the living room. Emma sat on the couch, tears soaking her face, and looked up at him in agony. Dustin sat on the arm of the sofa stroking her back. Travis sat next to her and kissed her on the cheek. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her face and pulled her against him, cradling her to his chest. She sobbed sorries into his shirt. He kept focussing on breathing in and out.
Emily was gone. The thought voiced itself in his mind against his will. Then he felt the cold claws of despair reach their way up his throat. Emily was gone. He tried to stop thinking it. Just breathe in and out. But his eyes started to sting and he knew he wasn't going to last much longer.
"Why don't you take Emma home," Travis said softly.
"Not leaving you alone," Dustin said.
Travis looked up at his brother through pleading, tear-blurred eyes. "I need you to take Emma home," he said.
Dustin looked uncertain. He swallowed. His eyes were wet as well. Finally he nodded and took Emma gently by the elbow.
When they were gone, Travis stood and went back to Emily's room. There were a few clothes hung over the crib that he hadn't put in the wash yet. He picked them up and pressed them to his nose, inhaling the sweet, unique blend of Emily's shampoo and her natural baby smell.
Emily was gone. Travis sat back down on the floor and cried like he'd never cried in his life. He held her clothes to his face and soaked them in his tears.
Arden was at her computer looking for Spring-themed bulletin board ideas when the front door opened. She immediately heard Emma crying. She hopped up and ran downstairs. Dustin was walking Emma to the couch. He gently helped her sit and then knelt in front of her. He brushed her hair back. Some of it stuck to her wet face and he peeled it off and pushed it aside. Her left cheek was red and puffy.
"What happened?" Arden asked.
Dustin looked up at her without emotion. "Tonya came back and took the baby. When Emma tried to stop her, Tonya's boyfriend hit her." He went back to stroking Emma's cheek gently. "I'm gonna kill the son-of-a-bitch."
Arden immediately went to her friend's side and took her hand. "Are you alright, sweetheart?" she said.
Emma nodded, squeezing her eyes shut. "Poor Travis! I'm so sorry!"
"Shhh," Dustin said. "That's enough. It wasn't your fault."
Emma kept shaking her head and saying how sorry she was.
Arden slipped her arm around Emma's shoulders. Poor Emily. She'd been in the best of care with Travis. Now what would happen to her? Arden wanted to be sick. She concentrated on holding and soothing Emma.
Dustin stood hesitantly. "You got this?" he asked.
Arden nodded. "Go be with Travis."
Dustin gave Emma one last glance and then left.
Arden spent the rest of the day trying to comfort Emma and distract her from the horrible situation. What she wanted more than anything, though, was to be holding Travis. She could only imagine the state he must be in. He was an emotional person anyway. And he'd gone against all common sense and fallen wholeheartedly in love with that baby.
It was bedtime before Arden finally felt she could leave Emma alone for a while. And that was because she was sound asleep and her mother was sitting in a chair in the corner of her room reading a book. Arden peeked in Emma's room and waved goodbye to Mrs. Harris. Then she grabbed her purse and drove straight to Travis's house.
She knocked on the front door. When there was no immediate answer, she tentatively turned the knob. Inside she followed the sound of Dustin's voice into the kitchen. All the cabinet doors had been thrown open and there was food from the refrigerator strewn out across the floor. Against the cabinets beneath the sink, Travis sat with his knees up and his elbows on his knees. His fingers were buried in his hair and he was sobbing. Dustin knelt next to him.
"It won't make it better, man. You know that," Dustin said softly.
Travis shook his head and sobbed, deep, guttural sounds. Arden caught her breath. She'd never witnessed a man crying like this before. And big, strong Travis.
She dropped her purse to the floor and rushed to his other side. Dustin spared a glance for her. "Hey, man," Dustin said, an almost fatherly tone in his voice. "Time to pull yourself together. You've got company." He patted his brother on the back.
Travis dug his palms into his eyes but kept his face covered. Arden didn't know what to do. She touched his shoulder, lightly at first. And then she slid her hand across his back and over his shoulders. She edged closer to him and pulled gently. He dropped his hands and then leaned into her, burying his face in her chest. She held him tightly and stroked his hair.