Nobody's Baby but Mine(121)
She regarded him unhappily. “I’m afraid not. I hope . . . soon. It’s really in his hands, not Annie’s.”
His jaw set in its familiar stubborn line. “It’s hard to believe you’re letting an old woman who’s half-crazy make decisions about something so important.”
She drew him to a stop and pressed a kiss to the corner of that stubborn jaw. “Maybe she’s not as crazy as you think. After all, she was the one who told me I had to take this walk with you.”
“You wouldn’t have done it otherwise?”
“I don’t know. I have a lot at stake in my life right now, and I don’t want to make a mistake. Sometimes mothers know what’s best for their daughters.” She regarded him levelly. “And their sons.”
He shook his head, and his shoulders slumped in resignation. “All right. I guess I know when I’m in over my head.”
She smiled and had to restrain herself from kissing him again. “We eat early. Six o’clock.”
“I’ll be there.”
Lynn showed Jane off to Jim that night as if she were a beloved child brought before a stranger to display her tricks. She sang Jane’s praises until he began to look dazed, then shooed the two of them into the living room so they could patch up whatever differences remained between them.
As Jane took a seat in Annie’s chair, the resemblance between father and son made her ache, and she wanted to move next to him on the couch and fold herself into those sturdy Cal-like arms. Instead, she drew a deep breath and told him how she had met Cal and what she had done.
“I didn’t write the tabloid article,” she said, when she reached the end of her story, “but nearly every word of it was true.”
She expected his censure.
“I guess Ethan would have a few things to say here about divine providence being responsible for getting you and Cal together,” he said.
He surprised her. “I don’t know about that.”
“You love Cal, don’t you?”
“With all my heart.” She dropped her gaze. “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to be an afterthought in his life.”
“I’m sorry he’s giving you such a hard time. I don’t think he can help it. The men in our family are pretty hard-headed.” He looked uncomfortable. “I guess I have a confession of my own.”
“Oh?”
“I called Sherry Vogler this afternoon.”
“You called my doctor?”
“I couldn’t relax about your pregnancy until I made sure everything was all right. She gave you a clean bill of health, but I couldn’t bully her into telling me whether I have a grandson or a granddaughter on the way. She said you’d decided to wait, and I had to wait, too.” He looked sheepish. “I know I was out of line talking to her behind your back, but I don’t want anything to happen to you. Are you angry?”
She thought of Cherry and Jamie and then of her own father, who’d never seemed to care at all. The next thing she knew, she was smiling. “I’m not angry. Thanks.”
He shook his head and grinned. “You’re a nice lady, Janie Bonner. The old bat was right about you, after all.”
“I heard that!” the old bat called from the next room.
Later that night as Jane lay sleepless in her narrow iron bed, she smiled at the memory of Annie’s indignation. But her smile faded as she thought of all she would be losing when she left here: Jim and Lynn and Annie, these mountains that seemed to be more a part of her every day, and Cal. Except how could she lose something she’d never had?
She wanted to close her eyes and cry her heart out, but she punched the pillow instead and pretended it was Cal. Her anger faded, and she lay back to stare at the ceiling. What was she doing here? Was she subconsciously waiting for him to change his mind and realize he loved her? Today had shown her that wasn’t going to happen.
She remembered the humiliating moment this afternoon when he’d shouted out that he would stay married. His offer had cut her to the quick. The words she’d longed to hear had been uttered on the cusp of his anger, and there hadn’t been an ounce of true meaning behind them.
She made herself face the truth. He might very well come around, but it would be out of duty instead of love because he didn’t feel the same way about her that she felt about him. She had to accept that and start living her life again. It was time for her to leave Heartache Mountain.
The wind had whipped up outside, and the room had grown chilly. Although it was warm under the covers, the cold seemed to have settled into her bones. She curled deeper into the bedclothes and accepted the fact that she had to leave. She’d always be thankful that she’d taken these two weeks for herself, but now she had to stop hiding and resume her life.