“But he did.”
She nodded.
Lynn’s lips had grown thin and taut. “Whose decision was it to get married?”
“His. He threatened to take me to court and sue for custody if I didn’t do what he wanted. Now that I know him better, I doubt that he’d have carried out his threat, but I believed him at the time.”
Taking a deep breath, she described the morning she’d opened the door to Jodie Pulanski, then told Lynn about the men’s plan for his birthday. She explained her own yearning for a child as well as her concern about finding someone to father it. She spoke without embellishment, refusing to justify her behavior in any way.
When she described her reaction to seeing Cal on television and her subsequent decision to use him, Lynn pressed her fingers to her lips, and a gasp of horror mingled with a strangled laugh that held an edge of hysteria. “Are you saying you chose Cal because you thought he was stupid?”
She thought about trying to explain to Lynn how he’d used ain’t and looked so dumb and gorgeous but gave it up. There were some things a doting mother would never understand. “Obviously I misjudged him, although I didn’t figure that out until several weeks after we were married.”
“Everybody knows Cal is smart as a whip. How could you have believed anything else?”
“I guess some of us aren’t as smart as we think we are.” She continued with her story, ending with the exposure of their marriage in the media and her decision to come with him to Salvation.
Lynn’s face showed a flash of anger, but to Jane’s surprise, it wasn’t directed at her. “Cal should have told me the truth from the beginning.”
“He didn’t want anyone in the family to know. He said none of you were good liars, and the story would come out if he told you.”
“He didn’t even take Ethan into his confidence?”
Jane shook her head. “Last Friday Ethan saw me . . . Well, he figured out that I was pregnant, but Cal swore him to secrecy until he could tell you himself.”
Lynn’s eyes narrowed. “There’s more. This doesn’t explain your hostility to us.”
Jane’s clasped hands cramped in her lap, and once again she had to force herself to meet Lynn’s gaze. “I told you that I’d already agreed to a divorce as soon as the baby was born. You’d recently lost one daughter-in-law you cared about, and it seemed cruel to let you get attached to another. Not that you necessarily would have,” she said hastily. “I know I’m not what you had in mind for Cal. But, still, it wouldn’t have been right for me to barge into your family when I wasn’t planning on staying.”
“So you decided to behave as badly as possible.”
“It—it seemed like the kindest thing to do.”
“I see.” Her expression gave away little, and Jane realized she was once again confronting the self-possessed woman she’d first met. She regarded Jane through steady blue eyes. “What were your feelings toward Cal?”
Jane hesitated, then skittered around the truth. “Guilt. I’ve done him a terrible wrong.”
“People said I tricked Jim into getting me pregnant, but it wasn’t true.”
“You were fifteen, Lynn. I’m thirty-four. I knew exactly what I was doing.”
“And now you’re compounding that wrong by running out on him.”
After everything she’d revealed, she would have expected her mother-in-law to be glad to be rid of her. “He’s not . . . He’s not ready for a permanent marriage, so it doesn’t make much difference when I leave. Something came up, and I have to get back to my job. It’s better this way.”
“If it’s better, why were you crying your eyes out?”
She felt her nostrils quiver and knew she was once again on the verge of losing control. “Don’t push this, Lynn. Please.”
“You’ve fallen in love with him, haven’t you?”
She lurched to her feet. “I have to go. I promise you can have as much contact with this child as you want. I’d never try to keep your grandchild away from you.”
“Do you mean that?”
“Of course.”
“You won’t try to keep the baby from us?”
“No.”
“All right, I’m going to hold you to it.” She stood. “Starting now.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I’d like my contact with my grandchild to start now.” Her softly pitched voice belied the stubborn set of her mouth. “I don’t want you to leave Salvation.”
“I have to.”
“So you’re already breaking your word?”