I shifted to the right just enough to block the brightness and raised an eyebrow at him in question. “Are you making fun of me?”
“Never.” He smirked, and I glared at him. My reaction only made him chuckle as he took a step closer and placed his hand on my thigh.
“Baby, I’m sorta envious of Stella right now.” I could see the gleam in his eye as he slid his hand up farther and squeezed my hip. “You have one hell of a grip on her. Makes me wanna feel these thighs wrapped around my waist,” he said, lowering his voice so no one around us would hear. “It’s reminding me of our night together and making it real hard not to get excited at the idea of a repeat.”
“Who says we can’t have a repeat?” I shrugged as I bit down on my lower lip. The idea of being naked beneath Noah was causing heat to rise in my neck and face. “I’d love to relive that night again,” I added, and his tongue shot out to trace his lower lip.
“Me too,” he confessed. “Austin is staying tonight, and I really want to make his first night here special, but what would you say to spending tomorrow night at my place? We’ll make dinner, and then you can be my dessert.”
I was slightly disappointed that I would have to wait another day, but I understood. Austin spending the night with his father was a big deal.
Stacey and her parents had been gone now for well over an hour. True to Noah’s word, they didn’t stay around long. I did my best to make the time they were here with us tolerable, but it was tense. Now that they’d gone, I’d relaxed and was enjoying the day.
“It’s a date.” I assured Noah with a wink, and he smiled widely.
***
I stood at the side of Noah’s truck as he gripped my waist securely. Austin had fallen asleep in his seat on the passenger side with his head resting back against it. As I looked between them, comparing their similarities, I wondered how anyone could not know that Austin was his son. They shared the same gorgeous, captivating eyes and the same smile, with a sweet dimple in the left cheek. They were both so breathtaking.
I began to wonder what our children would look like as they ran around smiling and laughing.
“What are you thinking about?”
I jumped at the sound of his voice. I had been so wrapped up in fantasizing about the future, I had forgotten where I was.
“I, um.” I smiled and cleared my thoughts. “I was just comparing the two of you. He’s a little mini Noah.”
The pride in Noah’s eyes as he looked over at Austin made my chest ache.
An ugly, scary thought hit me then.
I had fantasized about Noah for months, wishing for something more from him, and now I was terrified something would take him from me. Yes, even after his persistence and reassurances, I still feared him changing his mind. Living such an unstable and unpredictable life gave me so many doubts. It was just hard to believe I could be enough for any man.
A need to feel wanted was something Amber, Bailey, and I shared. When we were growing up, our parents were always so busy worrying about everything around them that they barely noticed us. My mother, for example, slept with every man within a five mile radius because she was so desperate for the affection my father wasn’t giving her. Normally, when a man finds out his wife is sleeping around, he divorces her. But not my father. He actually looked at it as an opportunity. It meant he no longer had to refuse the advances of other women.
My parents are the poster couple for “real fucked up.”
I saw them do things no child should ever have to see, none of which I can forget, like them sharing each other with other couples in random places throughout the house. I think they forgot I existed most of the time. Either that or they just truly didn’t give a shit.
So living here in Livingston, being around Amber and her new family. and seeing how happy Jackson has made Bailey all gave me hope—hope that maybe I too could find the happiness my parents lacked.
Chapter Sixteen
Noah
My first night at my place with my son was amazing. Having him here made it all seem even more real. I still found it hard at times to believe I’m a father. But in such a short time, I found a love I never knew existed. The love for a child is all-consuming, yet impossible to explain.
I stood in the doorway of my room, watching Austin sleep in the center of my bed. We had stayed awake so much longer than we should have, but I didn’t want our time together to end.
My phone ringing in the kitchen broke me out of my trance, and I rushed to get it before it woke Austin.
When I saw my attorney’s number, I panicked a little. I swiped my finger across the screen and brought the phone up to my ear quickly. “Hello.”