She’d only gone and had the most difficult conversation of her life. Sure, she could probably have done it better, been more eloquent, injected more patience into her tone when she’d talked to her own mother, but nobody was perfect. They weren’t actors in a TV movie, where, after a big reveal like that, the heroine worded her feelings in a perfectly understandable way that moved her family members to the point that the only outcome was complete, instant acceptance and teary hugs.
“Bye, honey,” she said to Chris, who still had the covers pulled over his head. She walked into his room, sat down on the edge of his bed briefly and planted a kiss where she thought his face would be. “I love you.”
He grumbled something she didn’t understand. Micky had never been that much of a morning person herself, but the way teenagers could overdramatize having to get up early in the morning was quite impressive.
She hesitated in front of Liv’s room, knocked twice, and when no answer came she opened the door. Olivia was up already, staring at her phone screen.
“Hey, you,” Micky said, ignoring the fact that Olivia hadn’t replied to her knock on the door. Being a mother to teenagers equaled being able to forgive their impoliteness as instantly as it occurred. “Are you okay?” Micky leaned against the doorframe.
“I didn’t sleep very well,” Olivia mumbled.
“How come?”
Olivia just shrugged, but Micky knew to give her some time to articulate her thoughts.
“Everything’s changing. Dad’s got Lisa and you…” She huffed out some air. “You’re a lesbian now.” She barely pronounced the l-word.
Micky headed into her daughter’s room and parked her behind on the edge of the bed. “I know it’s a lot, honey.” She brushed a strand of Olivia’s bedhead hair away from her face. “So much change all at once, and it may feel unfair, but it will all work out in the end, I promise you that.”
“No it won’t, because now you and dad will never get back together,” Liv blurted out.
“Is that really what you want? For your dad and me to get back together?” Olivia had never expressed that wish before.
“I don’t know, Mom. All I know is that how things are now isn’t exactly what I’ve been dreaming of.”
Micky scooted a little closer and put a hand on Olivia’s shoulder. “I know, honey.” Micky was about to apologize, but how could she possibly say sorry for falling in love with a woman and the subsequent happiness that had taken hold of her? She just had to keep believing that, in time, Olivia would understand this was all for the best. Though, looking at her, as she sat so frumpily in bed, looking a couple of years younger than her fourteen years, Micky felt a pang of guilt rush through her again for not putting her children’s happiness before hers. “It’s going to be okay.” Micky didn’t know what else to do but utter a few generic phrases. Olivia was still so young and vulnerable and susceptible. She still needed her mother to tell her this. “I promise you.” She pulled Liv in an awkward hug and said, “I love you so, so much.”
✶ ✶ ✶
At The Pink Bean, Josephine was missing in action due to some long-announced activity at the university she had to attend. Micky had assured Kristin she could handle the morning rush by herself by now, but she sure was glad that Kristin was there to help.
Micky had discussed her weekend of coming out with her boss quite a few times over the course of that week already, but the conversation with Olivia was still fresh on her mind and Kristin had become some wise lesbian guru to her who held the answers to many questions.
“Despite being well into the twenty-first century and the great leaps in acceptance that have occurred over the last decade alone, we still live in a heteronormative society,” Kristin said during a break. “It’s what 99 percent of children still grow up seeing all around them and accepting as the one true way.”
Micky had to chuckle at the irony. “That’s exactly how my children grew up, despite having a lesbian woman as a godmother.”
“There’s only so much influence a single person can exercise.” Kristin looked so well put-together again, as though her clothes were freshly laundered this morning, and her subtle makeup had been applied by a professional. “But there’s some excellent literature on the subject and you know that Sheryl teaches gender studies. If you want to give them a broader perspective, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind talking to them. You know how she loves to talk.”
With a nice bottle of wine by her side. Micky berated herself for that instantly. “That might be a good idea. And either way, it won’t hurt them to get to know a few more lesbians.”