“I’m not afraid.” More steel in Robin’s voice. “I had wrongly assumed we were on the same page, what with you barely being out, but I see now that I made an error of judgment.”
“An error of judgment? That’s what you’re calling me?”
Robin shook her head. “Can’t you see? What is happening now is exactly the sort of thing I try to avoid. I don’t need this sort of drama.”
“Oh, sure, next thing you’ll tell me you don’t need love in your life either.” Oh shit. Micky hadn’t meant to say the l-word. That was a grave mistake. She blamed the pile of words rapidly rushing from the back to the front of her brain.
“Micky, Micky, Micky.” Robin started shifting under the sheets. “I think I’d better go.”
“Fine.” Micky could kick herself for saying what she had about love. It wasn’t even relevant. Though she stood by all the other things she’d said. “Go.”
“I’m sorry this is not working out the way you had hoped. I really thought I had been clear from the very beginning.” Obviously, Robin was not the storming-out-in-a-huff kind and liked to have the last word. “I truly am sorry.”
“I don’t even know what we’re fighting about.” Micky tried to sound as aloof as possible. “We’ve only just met. I’m just a lonely divorcée discovering her true feelings for women for the very first time. Don’t mind little old me.” That sounded much more like self-pity than aloofness. Robin made Micky pick all the wrong words from the jumble in her mind.
“I like you, Micky. Otherwise, I wouldn’t still be here. I would have gone home last night. Come to think of it, that’s what I should have done. That was my bad. But this… useless arguing over feelings, that’s something I don’t do. And yes, you absolutely deserve someone who will fall madly in love with you. And you will find that woman soon enough, I promise you. You have a knack for attracting them, take it from me.”
What did that even mean? Why didn’t Robin just go home already instead of messing with Micky’s head more.
“But I can tell you one thing with absolute certainty: I am not the woman you’re looking for.” With that, Robin did get up and start searching for the clothes she had so easily, so willingly and eagerly, discarded the previous night, before hopping into bed with Micky for the second time in one day.
Now Micky’s brand new bed was tainted with the memory of all that they had done in it; and the different person Micky had become in the process: free, curious, exhilarated.
She watched as Robin amassed her clothes and hurried into the bathroom. I guess that shower Micky had dreamed of the two of them taking together was now out of the question.
She could get up, fight some more, try to articulate her thoughts better, but she knew there was no use. Additionally, what right did she have to put any claims on Robin? She was just in lust, any logical thoughts clouded by the new memories she had made and the acute desire to be covered in woman all over again as soon as possible.
The problem, at this very moment, was that Micky couldn’t possibly imagine that woman being anyone but Robin.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“Jesus, Amber, I’m so stupid.” Amber was the only person in the world Micky would admit something like that to. But it was exactly how she felt. Utterly stupid. “I should have just kept my mouth shut.”
“I disagree. You should say what you feel. What was the alternative?”
“Er, amazingly hot sex.” Micky could barely look her friend in the eye.
“But at what cost?”
“Cost? I have no price to pay here. I have so many years to catch up on, and I had the most exquisite, experienced, enthralling woman in bed, just mere hours ago, and I let her go because of my feelings.”
“Come on, Micky. We are not animals. We can’t just make love and move on.”
Having Amber as a best friend was a blessing and a curse. Amber never—ever—slept with anyone until their chakras were aligned. “You were the one who told me to do this, if I may be so frank as to remind you.” Micky opened an expensive bottle of wine, which she’d snatched from Darren’s collection after he’d moved out, and drank greedily. “You encouraged some mindless fucking.” Micky also hadn’t had breakfast or lunch. She knew as soon as she said the word Amber wouldn’t react well to the f-word.
“I did no such thing. All I advised you to do was to be open to possibilities, which you were. And I applaud you for that. I also think you did the right thing. So did Robin. These things happen, Micky. People have different expectations of one situation most of the time. But this was your first. It would have been pretty naive to believe you were going to fall in love with the first woman you met who tickled your fancy, and end up happily ever after. This is life, not a fairy tale.”